Revealed in Passing
by B4C
Summary: Future AU, a grave accident brings Lucas home to tree hill and to Brooke. Can they make it work this time around, especially when secrets are revealed? B/L P/J R/M H/N . Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Future AU, a grave accident brings Lucas home to tree hill and to Brooke. Can they make it work this time around, especially when secrets are revealed? B/L P/J R/M (H/N). Rated M for later chapters. **

**Back ground:**** Everything up till the end of season 4 has happened except Nathan and Haley never had Jamie, in fact they couldn't have a baby. **

**Lucas married Peyton right after high school but they were soon devoiced when Jake came back into her life. Jake and Peyton are now married.**

**Brooke never took Clothe's over Bro's national she went back to Tree Hill and opened a small store that she runs with Rachael (Who is married to Mouth).**

**Lucas did write 'An unkindness of ravens' and two follow up best sellers, and is on a worldwide book tour. **

**Everything else will be explained in the story!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**- B**

_**Revealed in Passing**_

_**Chapter One**_

Brooke Davis restlessly paced the entrance to the emergency room of Raleigh hospital, punching yet another number into her cell phone in a desperate attempt to contact Lucas Scott. It would be Sunday evening in Australia and she had tried his hotel number first. A woman had picked up.

"Lisa Brockton."

"Oh…" the sound of her voice, the knowledge that she was in Lucas' hotel room answering his phone, for a moment drove everything else from her mind. Then, gathering herself she said.

"Can I speak to Lucas, please?"

"Who's calling?"

"Brooke…Brooke Davis, I'm his…his…"

"It's okay Miss Davis. I know who you are, the Brooke from the book right?"

Brooke griped the phone tighter until it was hurting her fingers. "Could I speak to him, please?"

"I'm sorry Lucas is away at the moment. I'm his assistant. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Do you know where he is?"

"He's moving about a lot. He has a few free weeks before the book tour stars again in Hong Kong. Can I pass on a message?" she prompted when Brooke didn't reply.

"No thank you" This really wasn't news she could ask a member of his staff – no matter how personal – to deliver secondhand. "I need to speak to him myself. It's urgent."

Lisa didn't waste time asking questions, playing the dragon at the door, but gave her a string of contact numbers. His cell, the number of his hotel in Hong Kong, in case he checked in early, the private number of his manager since it was evening there. She even gave her the number of Lucas' favorite restaurant.

There was no signal. She left a message asking him to call her, urgently, then called the hotel. He wasn't there and his tour manager informed her that he had bought up the dates of his tour and had flown to mainland china.

She felt as if she were going in circles, but at least it helped take her mind off what was happening around her, even if she was dreading the moment she found him.

She tried his cell again; it rang three times before going to voicemail.

"Miss Davis…"

She was trying so hard to not think about what was happening to Nathan and Haley. She spun round when the nurse called her name, immediately regretting it. One look told her everything she needed to know.

"Luke…" she forced his name out through a throat aching with unshed tears. There would be time for tears, but not yet. Not now. "Luke… you need to come home."

A day, even an hour ago, the very thought of seeing him would have been enough to send her into the same dizzy spin that had afflicted her as a teenager. Numbed with the horror of what had happened, she was beyond feeling anything but rage at the unfairness of.

She remembered his bloodless face the last time they talked. When she told him it was to late for second thoughts. That she already made the decision to be a surrogate and that she was already pregnant with Haley and Nathan's child. She would never forget the way he looked at her, before climbing into the car waiting to take him to the airport.

The nurse, no doubt used to dealing with grieving relations, put her arm around her, said something about tea and asked if there was anyone she could call.

"I've called Lucas," Brooke mumbled, stupidly as if the nurse would understand what that meant. "He'll come now." He had to come.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

Lucas would come, but not yet, not for twenty-four hours at the earliest. She was numb with shock, incapable of driving. She let the nurse call Rachael Gatina. She was there within minutes, helping her deal with the paper work before driving her to Haley and Nathan's home and their three month old baby.

"I hate to leave you." She said "You shouldn't be alone."

"Peyton's here," she said, struggling with the simplest words. "Thank you, Rach. You've been an amazing friend."

"I'm only a phone call away if you need anything. And the moment I have the store organized, I'll be right back to help with arrangements."

Brooke swallowed, not wanting to think about what lay ahead. "Lucas will be here." Tomorrow or the next day. "He'll see to everything."

Rachael pulled her into a hug "I'll be back in a few hours." She kissed her cheek before walking back to her car.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Peyton Sawyer, her best friend and ex wife of Lucas Scott had answered her desperate call and stayed with baby Grace. Now she said nothing, just hugged her and made a cup of tea and then shut herself in Haley's study, taking on the task of calling everyone to let them know what had happened. She rang Nathan's mom in LA and Haley's sister Taylor in Boston.

Rachael arrived and took over from Peyton who went home to grieve with her husband and Jake and there daughter Jenny. She fielded calls that came flooding in. Calls from everyone but the one she knew Brooke was waiting to hear from.

Friends arrived with food, stayed to give practical help, making up beds in the spare room and the basement.

Brooke set about putting her own life on hold, leaving a message on the answering machine of her apartment, canceling her appointments. Rachael had taken care of their store so she put all her energy into taking care of Grace. Bathing her, feeding her, changing her and shutting out everything but the sounds of Grace Penelope Scott.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

"It's night in China." Rachael reminded after watching Brooke jump for the phone the umpteenth time that morning. "He's probably asleep with the phone off."

"No, it didn't go straight to voicemail. It rang…"

"Asleep and didn't hear it, then"

"Maybe I should have told someone in his office –"

"No. They've given you all the numbers they have and if you can't get a hold of him neither can they."

"But –"

"You're the only person he'll want to hear this from, Brooke."

"Maybe."

"No question. You are the only one who can feel even half of what he is going to feel."

"There in no way to make this better for him Rach. He lost his family."

Rachael didn't bother to answer, just said "Come on and have something to eat. Karen dropped off some chill."

She shook her head. "I can't eat anything."

"You don't have the luxury of missing meals." Rachael said firmly. "You have to stay strong for Grace."

"What about you?" Brooke asked. Rachael and Haley had never been close but they where friends, she wasa grieving too. "You've been on the go all day and I haven't seen you eat a thing."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not." She lay Grace in her crib. "Put your feet up while I fix some plates."

"Only if you promise to take one of those sleeping pills. You haven't slept…"

"I can't," she said "Not till I talk to Luke."

"But then?"

"I promise," she said. And because it was the only way to get Rachael off her back, she forced down a plate of food.

She took a bath and might have fallen asleep in the warm water, but Grace was fussy. It was as if she sensed something was wrong.

Brooke put on Haley's robe so that Grace would have the comfort of her mother's sent as she held her against her shoulder, crooning softly to her, walking the long night away – waiting, waiting, waiting for the phone to ring.

Finally, when she knew it was day on the other side of the world, she called again. Again, it was the answering service that picked up. "Where are you?" she cried out in desperation. "Call me!" All she got back was a hollow emptiness. "Nathan's dead, Luke," she said hopelessly. "Haley's dead. Grace needs you."

She covered her mouth, holding back her own appeal. Refusing to say that she needed him too.

She'd always needed him, but Lucas did not need her and even in extremis, a women had her pride.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Wow is all I have to say! I have been having one of the worst weeks of my life and then I post one chapter and get some lovely reviews and so many favs and alerts. Thank you all so much! **

**This chapter you will get to see what Lucas is up to and hopefully answer some of your questions. There are a few things in here that might seem a little confusing (like Lucas' secret and his guilt over it) but it will all come out later in the story. **

**Someone mentioned in a review that they were sad that I killed off Naley in the first chapter and I just want to set the record straight that it is not because I dislike Naley, it is because the story wouldn't work other wise. **

**Okay please enjoy **

**Chapter Two**

"Did Brooke Davis manage to get a hold of you, Lucas?" He'd flown direct to Sydney from Nepal, stopping at his publishes office to pick up urgent messages before going back to his hotel suite to catch up on sleep.

"Brooke?" He frowned, looking up from the list of messages his PA handed him. "Brooke called for me?"

"Last week, Sunday. I gave her the Hong Kong numbers but I knew you'd be on the move so I gave her your cell phone number too. She said it was urgent. I hope I did the right thing."

"Yes, yes," he said, reassuring her.

Last week Sunday he'd been in the mountains, writing and thinking about his brother. Thinking about Brooke. There had been a message alert on his phone, but he'd ignored it…

"I dropped my damn cell off a mountain. Can you get me a replacement?" Then, "Did Brooke say why she was calling?"

"Only that it was urgent. It's the middle of the night there now," she reminded him as he picked up the phone; hit the speed dial for her number.

"It doesn't matter. She wouldn't have called unless it was…" He stopped as the call went immediately to the answering machine.

"_You've reached Brooke Davis. I'm sorry that I can't take you call at the moment. Due to a family bereavement, any questions regarding shipments should be directed to Rachael Gatina at 555 3226."_

Bereavement?

He felt the blood drain from his face, put out a hand to grasp the desk. Grace…

It had to be Grace. Small babies were so vulnerable. Meningitis, cot death…. After so many years of waiting, so much heartache.

"Cancel everything, Lisa. Get me on the next flight to New Brunswick Airport," he said dialing his brothers number.

Someone whose voice sounded familiar, but wasn't Nathan, wasn't Haley, wasn't Brooke, answered the phone.

"It's Lucas Scott," he said.

He could hear the phone being passed around and then she was there, her familiar voice saying his name. "Lucas…"

It was all it took to stir up feelings that he'd done his best to suppress.

"Lucas, I've been trying to get hold of you…"

"I know. I called your number. Heard your message," he said. "What happened? Who died? He heard her take a long shuddering breath.

"Brooke!"

"There was an accident. Nathan, Haley… They were both killed."

For a moment he was too stunned to speak. His brother was dead. "When? How?"

"Last Sunday morning. I've been calling, leaving messages. When you didn't get back to me I thought… I thought…"

"No!" The word was wrenched from him. He knew what she'd thought and why, but it didn't hurt any less to know that she could believe him so heartless.

But then she already believed that.

She'd been so happy that she was having a baby for her best friends, couldn't understand why he'd been so desperate to stop her.

"What happened?" he asked.

"The police said that the car skidded on a slick of mud. It went through a fence and then rolled. It happened early in the morning and no one found them…"

"The baby, Brooke," he pressed urgently. "Grace…"

"What! No! She wasn't with them. She was with me. Nathan and Haley were away for the weekend. It was their wedding anniversary but they left the hotel early. They couldn't wait to get back…"

Long before she'd stumbled to a halt, he'd clamped his hand over his mouth to hold in the cry of pain. "Luke?"

"It's okay. I'm okay," he managed. "How are you coping?"

"One breath at a time," she said. "One minute. One hour…"

He wanted to tell her how sorry he was, but in a situation like this words were meaningless. And in any case she would know exactly how he was feeling. They were faced with the same loss.

Or very nearly the same.

Brooke wouldn't have to live with his guilt…

He should have been there to make the necessary arrangements, but it had been over a week already.

"Who's with you? What arrangements have been made? When is the…" He couldn't bring himself to say the word.

"We buried them on Friday, Lucas. Deb insisted on going ahead and when you didn't call back, no one could reach you…" He heard her swallow, fight down tears, then she furiously said "Where were you?"

"Brooke…He looked up at his PA returned. "There's a car waiting to take you to the airport. You have to leave now," she said handing him a replacement BlackBerry.

"Brooke, I'm leaving now for the airport." Then "Keep breathing until I get there."

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

Brooke let Rachael take the phone from her as she leaned weakly against the wall.

"Maybe you could get some sleep," She said gently, handing her the pills the doctor left when he'd called after hearing the news. "You left plenty of milk in the fridge for Grace. I'll manage the rest."

She didn't want to go to sleep, because when she woke she knew there would be a moment when she would thin k it was just another day. Then she'd remember and have to live through the loss all over again. But she didn't say any of that. Instead she pocketed the pills, hugged Rachael and said, "Thank you."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"We're here, Mr Scott." Lucas glanced up at the façade of the tall Georgian house that Nathan had bought when he and Haley had graduated collage. It was a proper family home with a finished basement and a big backyard. Endless rooms they'd planned to fill with children.

"Is there anything I can do, Mr Scott?" Lucas realized that the chauffeur – a regular who his PA had arranged to pick him up at the airport – was regarding him with concern. He managed a smile. "You can tell me what day it is, John. And whether it's seven in the morning or seven in the evening."

"It was Tuesday when I got up this morning. And it's the evening. But I'm sure you knew that."

"Just testing," he said, managing a smile. He'd counted everyone of the last twenty-four hours as he'd traveled halfway round the world, coming to terms with the loss of his brother. And Haley who was the closest thing to a sister he'd ever had. By turns motherly bossy, supportive. Everything that he'd needed.

Knowing that he would have to live with a world of regrets for the harsh words he'd said. Words that could never be taken back. For holding on to his righteous anger, a cover for something darker he could never admit to…,Brooke needed him. The baby would need them both.

He climbed from the car. Brooke's baby blue beetle was parked in the drive as he had anticipated but where he had expected to see his brother's car was a small red hatchback that underlined, in the most shocking way, the reality of the situation.

Realizing that John was waiting until he was inside, he pulled himself together, walked up the steps to the front door as he had done times without number to a house that had always felt as if it were opening its arms to him. Today, though, even in the spring sunshine, with tubs of bright yellow tulips on either side of the front door, it seemed subdued, in mourning even.

The last time he had been here he'd tossed his set of keys on his brother's desk – his declaration that he would never return. For the first time since Haley and Nathan had moved in, he would have to knock at the door, but as he lifted his had to the antique knocker, the door flung open.

For a moment he thought it was Brooke, watching out for him, racing to fling her arms around him, but it wasn't her. Why would it be? She had Owen 'The bar tender', to offer her comfort. At least she had the last time he'd come home on a visit.

The women who opened the door was familiar – a little older then the last time he'd seen her, but still very much the same girl he had married and then later devoiced. Their marriage had ended on a happy note – as far as a devoice goes, they both new that there hearts weren't in it and had decided to remain friends. Lucas had even been best man when she had married Jake, but they hadn't spoken since she had called and yelled at him for breaking Brooke's heart a third time.

She put her finger to her lips. "Brooke is in the kitchen but she's finally asleep. Try not to wake her. She hasn't been sleeping and she'd exhausted.

He nodded.

"You must be, too" she said, putting her hand on his arm. "It's a terrible homecoming for you." She didn't wait for him to reply, just said, "I'll go now you're here, but tell Brooke to call me if she needs anything. Oh and don't be surprised if Rachael comes by a little later."

"Thanks Peyt. Thank you for being here." He watched her until she was in her car, then picked up the bags that John had left on the top step, placed them inside and shut the door as quietly as he could. Each movement slow, deliberate, as if it could somehow steady the sudden wild beating of his heart that was loud enough to wake Brooke all by itself.

He told himself that he should wait. Go down to the basement apartment, take a shower. But to do that, he'd need the key and the cupboard was in the kitchen.

For the first time for as long as he could remember, he was frozen in indecision, unable to move. Staring down at the hall table where a pile of mail – cards, some addressed to Brooke, some to him – waited to be opened. Read.

He frowned, Cards? He opened one, saw the lilies. _In Sympathy…_

He dropped it as if it were burning him, steeped back, rubbed the back of his neck and up through his hair as he looked down the hall. Then because there was nothing else to do, he turned and walked slowly to the kitchen.

He pushed the door very gently. It still squeaked. How many times had Nathan promised Haley that he would fix it?

He'd offered to do it himself, but Haley had just smiled. She liked the warning squeak, she'd told him. Liked to have something to complain about once in a while.

He paused holding his breath, but there was no sound and he stepped into the big southern style room that had always been the hub of the house. Warm roomy, with a big table for everyone to gather around. He stopped still when he saw her sitting in a big armchair in the breakfast nock. The baby she had borne with the purest of heart as surrogate for he best friend was lying boneless in sleep against her shoulder.

Nathan, hoping that if Lucas saw the baby he would finally understand, forgive him even, had e-mailed him endless photos of Grace since the day she had been born, refusing to be deterred by Lucas' lack of response.

There had been no photographs of Brooke until the day of the christening and then only in a group consisting of Brooke, as godmother, holding Grace, flanked by Haley and Nathan. A happy picture in which everyone had been smiling and sent, he suspected, with just a touch of defiance. A 'see what you're missing' message.

He hadn't cared about that and he'd cropped the picture so it was just Brooke holing Grace. He'd had it enlarged and printed so he could carry it with him. Her face had been outwardly serene, but a photograph was just a two dimensional image. It was without warmth, sent. You could touch it, but it gave nothing back. But then it had been a very long time since Brooke had given anything back to him. Keeping her distance, her eyes always guarded on his visits home.

At least he'd had time to get over his shock that, some time in the last year, she'd cut her beautiful long hair into a short bob.

But this scene was not a photo. This was an intimate view of motherhood as only a husband, a father would see it and he stood perfectly still, scarcely daring to breathe, wanting to hold the moment, freeze this timeless image in his memory. Then almost in slow motion, he saw the empty bottle that had dropped into her lap begin a slow slide to the floor.

He moved swiftly to catch it before it hit the floorboards and woke her, but when he looked up he realized that his attempt to keep her from being disturbed had failed.

Or maybe not. Her eyes were open and she was looking at him, but she wasn't truly awake. She wasn't seeing him. He froze, holing his breath, willing her to close them again and drift back off to sleep.

She stirred. "Nathan?" she said. Not quite seeing him, not yet remembering. Still he hoped…

She blinked, focused, frowned.

He saw the exact moment it all came flooding back, and instinctively reached out to her as he had a year ago. As if he could somehow stop time, go back, save her from a world of pain. "Brooke…"

"Oh, Lucas…"

In that unguarded moment, in those two little words, it was all there. All the loss, all the heartache and, sinking to his knees, this time he did not step back, but followed through, gathering her into his arms, holding her close.

For ten years he'd lived with the memory of her in his arms, the heavy silk of her hair trailing across his skin, her sweet mouth a torment of innocence and knowing eagerness as she'd taking him to a place that until her he hadn't know he'd wanted to go.

He'd lived with memory of her tearing herself away from him as he did the unforgivable for a second time and then nine years later a third. Brooke had needed security, a settled home, a man who would put her first while, his dreams where just starting to come true. His books where world wide hits and he had his sights set on far horizons, on traveling.

But nothing he'd done, nothing he'd achieved, not even a hastily conceived and swiftly regretted marriage, had ever dulled the memory of there time together and still, in his dreams, his younger self would fight for her, chose her.

It had been unbearably worse during the last twelve months. Sleep had been elusive and when he did manage an hour he woke with an almost desperate yearning for something precious, something that was lost forever.

This. This women clinging to him, this child…

He brushed his lips against her temple and then, his head full of warm, milky scent of baby, he kissed Grace and for one perfect moment all the pain, all the agony of the last twenty-four hours fell away.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Brooke floated towards consciousness in slow, confessed stages. She had no idea where she was, or why there was a weight against her shoulder, pinning her down. Why Lucas was there watching her.

Then, as she slowly, unwillingly surfaced, he said her name. Just that.

"Brooke…"

Exactly as he had once, years ago, before gathering her up in his arms. And she knew that he really was there, it really was Lucas. Lucas who had his arms around her, was holding her as if he'd never let her go. A return of every dream she'd had since he'd walked out of her life, gone away, leaving a gaping hole in her world. And she clung to him, needing the comfort of his physical closeness. Just needing him.

She felt the touch of his lips against her hair as he kissed her. The warmth of his mouth, his breath against her temple. And then she was looking up at him and he was kissing her as he had done night after night in her dreams.

There was the same shocked surprise that had them drawing back to stare at one another, as if suddenly everything made sense, before they had come together with a sudden desperate urgency, his mouth branding her as his own, the heat of their passion fusing them forever as one. A heat that had been followed by years of ice…

Now, as then, it was the only thing in the world that she wanted. It had been so long since he had held her. Not since his second year of college when had come to visit her in New York, and they had left things uncomfortable. Nothing to give her hope that it wasn't just a drunken kiss. Just a simple goodbye.

They had seen each other since then of course, he came home for holidays and special events, full of what he'd seen and done, his plans. Always cutting his visit short, impatient to be somewhere else, with someone else.

But she'd never let her guard down again, had never let him see how much he'd hurt her, never let him get that close again. She'd avoided the hugs and kisses so freely bestowed on the prodigal on his increasingly rare visits home, keeping away until the excitement was over. Making sure she had a date for the celebratory dinner that Haley always made a feature of his homecoming – because there had always been some new achievement to celebrate. His book on the 'New York Times' list, his first international bestseller. His marriage…

Yet now, weakly, she clung to him, drinking in the tender touch of his lips, the never-to-be-forgotten scent of his skin.

Needed him as he'd never needed her.

Knowing that even now, in his grief, he would be self-contained, in control, his head somewhere else. He'd comfort her. He'd deal with the legal stuff and then, once everything had been settled, made tidy, the tears dried away, he'd fly off to Sydney or Hong Kong, China or South America. Wherever the life he'd made he'd made for himself out there in the big wide world took him. He'd go without a glance back.

At sixteen she had been so sure she could change him, that once she'd proved herself, shown what she would do for him, how she had changed for him. If she loved him enough he would never leave her.

At twenty – eight she knew better and gathering herself, she pulled back, straightened her legs that had gone to sleep so that Lucas was forced to move, sit back on his heels. But try as she might, she couldn't look away.

He seemed to have grown, she thought. Not physically. He'd always been a larger then life figure. Cleaver, with a touch of recklessness that lent an edge to everything he did, he'd not only dominated the school sports field but stood head and shoulders above the crowd academically, too.

He'd has those broad shoulders even then, but he'd grown harder over the years and these days he carried himself with the confidence of a man who had taken on the world and won. His face was the same apart from a close clipped beard that darkened his cheeks, it added an edge of strangeness to a face that had once been as familiar as her own.

This Lucas Scott was a stranger.

He was home now, but once everything was settled, tidied away, he'd go away again because Tree Hill was – always had been – too small for Lucas Scott.

**AN: I wasn't going to finish this here but it was getting kinda long, but don't fret the next chapter should be up later tonight or tomorrow. **

**- B**


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter was very emotional draining to write and contains a lot of clues for future chapters. I wonder if anyone can guess what is going to happen?**

Chapter Three

'Brooke' he said repeating her name. Calling her back from her thoughts, her memories. That was all. Just her name. Well what else could he say? That he was sorry about the last time they had spoken. Sorry that he had gotten it all wrong?

It was far to late for that and, without warning, se found herself wanting to slap him, yell at him for being such an idiot. For staying away, when coming home would have made Haley so happy.

'Where were you?' she demanded.

Lucas shook his head. 'In the mountains. Everest. I was working so close that I took a few days off, with no work, no phone...'

He looked so desolate that she wanted to reach out and gather him close. Comfort him. Instead, she turned to the baby at her shoulder, kissed her precious head.

Maybe he read all that in her face – she was too tired to keep her feelings under wraps – because he stood up, took a step back and placed the baby bottle he was still holding on the table beside her. 'It was about to fall,' he said 'I didn't want it to wake you, Peyton warned me not to disturb you when she let me in.'

Too late for that. Years too late.

'Has she gone?'

He nodded. 'She said to tell you that she'll call you in the morning.'

"She's been wonderful. Both her and Rachael stayed here, manned the phones, organized the food for after the funeral. But there grieving, too. They need to rest.' Not that Lucas looked particularly great. He might have had the luxury of a first class sleeping berth to take the edge off the long flight, but there was a grayness about his skin and his eyes were red and bloodshot. 'How are you?'

'I'll think about that later.'

'When you're back in Sydney? She asked, reminding herself that this, like all his visits, was only a break from his real life.

'I'm not going anywhere,' he said. 'Not until everything is settled.'

'Everything?'

'I'm Nathan's executor. I have to arrange for probate, settle his estate.'

'A week should do it,' she retaliated, and immediately regretted it. He had to be hurting, whether he was showing it or not. 'I'm sorry.'

'Don't! don't appologise to me.' He looked up, took another deep breath. 'You and Haley and Nathan were so close. They were your family, Brooke.'

'A lot better then the real thing.'

'Yes.' He looked at her, and for a moment she thought he was going to say something she'd find hard to forgive. In the end he just said, 'Have you managed to contact Haley's parents, let them know what happened?'

'They were even harder to find then you.'

'I'm so sorry. I can't bear the thought of you going through all of this alone…'

'I wasn't alone. Everyone helped. Owen was wonderful.'

Owen. Lucas felt his stomach twist at that name.

'Deb took care of all the arrangements for the funeral. And once your father arrived and took charge …'

'He's here?'

'He left again right after the funeral, not many people in Tree Hill were happy to see him.' He was about to make some comment about his father deserving to be the one in the ground, but thought better of it. 'Thank you for sticking with it, Brooke. For not just leaving a message.'

'I wanted to tell you myself, although if I'd realized how long it would take…'

'It must have felt like a year.'

'A lifetime.' The quickly, 'Your staff were terrific, by the way. Will you them them for me? If I'd thought about it, I'd have anticipated resistance to handing out contact numbers to someone they don't know.'

'Of course they know you,' he said. 'Do you think I don't talk about you all?' The almost as if he was embarrassed by this brief outburst, 'Besides, they have an any time, anywhere list.'

'And I'm on that?'

'We both know that the only reason you'd ever call me would be with news I had to hear,'

Once Brooke would have laughed at that. If only he knew how many times she'd picked up the phone, he hand over the speed dial number, not to speak to him, but simply to hear his voice. How she'd longed to go back to the way they had once been, when they had been friends…teased one another…told one another everything.

Almost everything.

'Brooke …'

She didn't answer. Instead, she held Grace close as she got to her feet, supporting her head with her hand. Then, when she didn't stir, she laid her in the cradle beside the chair.

For a moment her tiny arms and legs waved as if searching for her warmth and her face creased up, as if she was about to cry. Brooke laid her hand on her tummy until, reassured by the contact, the baby finally relaxed.

Once she was settled, Brooke crossed to the kettle, turned it on, not because she wanted anything to drink, but because anything was better then doing nothing.

'The basement is all made up for you,' she said, glancing at him. 'The bed's made and you'll find the basics in your fridge. It's too late to do anything toay and I'm sure you need to catch up on your sleep.'

'I'll hang on for a while. The sooner I slot back into this time zone, the sooner I'll beat the jet lag.'

'Is that right?'

That earned her one of those smiles that had never failed to light up her insides and, feeling instantly guilty, she looked away.

'There's a casserole in the over and I'm just about to eat. I'm not sure what meal times your on but, if your serious about keeping local hours, you'd be wise to join me.'

He shook his head. 'I'm not hungry.'

'Oddly enough,' she said 'neither am I, but unlike you I can't indulge in the luxury of missing meals.' She stooped herself. His body clock must be all over the place and while snapping at him made her feel better and it would certainly help distract her from the almost irresistible urge to throw caution to the wind, fling her arms around him and beg him to make it better, it wasn't far on him. 'Look, why don't you go and take a shower? Maybe a shave?' she suggested. 'See how you feel then?'

He ran a hand over his chin. 'You don't like the beard?'

'Beard?' Under the pretext of assessing the short light beard that covered his firm chin, cheeks hollowed with exhaustion, she indulged herself in a long look. Finally shaking her head as if in disbelief, she said, 'Are you telling me that the stubble is deliberate?'

And for a moment, just a moment, his mouth twitched into a wisper of the smile that had once reduced the hearts of teenage girls to mush. If her heart racing response was anything to go by, it had the same effect on mature and otherwise sensible women.

But then she was a long lost cause.

'I'm sorry, Lucas,' she added. 'I just thought that you'd forgot to pack your razor.'

'I'm still carrying the bag I had with me in China and Nepal so I hope the washing machine is up to the…' He broke off as a tiny mewl emerged from the crib. A tiny mewl the quickly grew into an insistent wail.

Brooke sighed. ' I thought it was too good to be true. She's been so fretful for the last couple of days. Clingy. It's almost as if she knows there's something wrong.'

Lucas took a step towards the crib and, very gently, he laid his hand, as she had done, on the baby's tummy.

Grace immediately stopped crying and, eyes wide, stared up at the tall figure standing over her. Then as if demanding more from her uncle, she reached out a tiny fist and Brooke caught her breath as Lucas crouched beside the crib and touched her hand with the tip of one finger.

He'd been beyond anger when she'd told him that he was to late to stop the surrogacy, that she was already pregnant with his brother's child. News she hadn't even shared with Haley yet, determined not to raise false hopes until the doctor had confirmed it.

She hadn't know how he would react to Grace. Now, as he gazed down at this small miracle, she waited heart in mouth, for his reaction. For the inevitable question.

How could she do it?

How could she have felt the first tiny movements, watched that first scan, listened to the squishy beat of her heat, cherished the baby growing inside her for nine long months, only to surrender her to her friends?

Other people had asked.

Not friends, true friends. They had all understood. But a reporter from the local paper who'd somehow picked up the story had called her, wanting to know the whys, the how's, the financial deal she signed up to. If the women had done her research, she'd have know that anything but expenses was against the law and Brooke hadn't needed or wanted even that.

It was people who didn't know them who seemed most indignant that she could do such a thing. People who clearly had no concept of unselfish love.

None of these people had mattered, but she wanted Lucas to understand. Even though he didn't approve of what she had done, she needed him to know why, without asking, understand why she had done it.

Don't, she silently begged him. Please don't ask…

'Nathan called me minutes after Grace was born,' he said, after what felt like an eternity. 'He was almost incoherent with joy.' For a moment he too seemed to find it difficult to speak. 'I was in the middle of nowhere, the line was terrible but even through stactic it came through loud and clear. His world was complete.' He looked up, looked at her. 'You gave him that, Brooke.'

She let out a breath. He understood. Then catching up, she said, 'Nathan called you?'

'He didn't mention it?'

She shook her head. Why wouldn't he have told her? Had Haley know?

'What did you say to him, Lucas?' she demanded.

'I asked if you were all right and, when he assured me that you had sailed through the whole thing. I asked him if he was sure you had know doubts about giving up the baby, Urged him no to rush you…'

She waited, sure there was something else, but he shook his head.

'I didn't,' she said. 'He didn't.'

Why had it mattered so much to him? And why wouldn't they have told her that he'd cared enough to ask about her? Had been concerned about that she was alright. Hadn't Haley know how much it would mean to her?

Not wanting to think about that, she crossed to Grace's crib, picked her up, cradled her briefly, cherished the weight of her in her arms, the baby sent of clean hair, warm skin. Then she turned and offered her to Lucas.

'Here,' she said. 'Take her. Hold her.' When he didn't move, she looked up to find him starring, not at the baby but at her. 'What?'

He shook his head. 'I thought you'd be married by now, Brooke with a home and children of your own. Wasn't that what you always wanted?'

'You know it was.'

She'd wanted what Haley had. A settled home, a good man, children. She also wanted Lucas Scott and the two were incompatible. No one could have everything they wanted. 'Unfortunately,' she said. 'Life isn't that simple.'

'Maybe men just have it too easy these days. All of the comforts with none of the responsibility.'

'Excuse me?'

'Well, it wasn't for lack of choice, was it? You appeared to be dating someone different every time I came home.'

'Not _every _time, surely?' Her well schooled, careless tone was, she knew, ruined by a blush.

'You don't remember?'

She remembered. Given a few days warning of his arrival, it hadn't be difficult to drum up some hungry man who would be glad to have a home cooked meal. Camouflage so that it wouldn't look as if she was living in limbo, just waiting for him to come home and sweep her off her feet, tell her he'd been a fool, pick up where they left off all those years ago.

These days only Owen was left. He'd been brighter then most quickly cottoning on to what she was doing and apparently happy to play the possessive suitor whenever Lucas came home.

Why she'd still been going through the motions after so long she couldn't say. Unless it was because she still wanted it so badly. That it was herself she was fooling rather then him…

Whatever, she could hardly get indignant if he'd been fooled by her deception. Assumed that she'd fallen into bed with every one of them as easily as she'd fallen into his.

'Maybe they could sense the desperation,' she said, burying her hot cheeks in Grace's downy head, before holding her out to Lucas. 'Here,' she said, placing that baby in his arms. 'Say hello to Graceilyn Penelope Scott. Better know as Gracie.'

Lucas held her awkwardly and Gracie waved her arms nervously.

'Hold her closer to you,' she said, settling her against Lucas; broad chest, taking his arm, moving it, so it was firmly beneath the baby. She was desperately anxious for him to bond with this little girl who would never know her real father. For whom Lucas, no matter how reluctantly, would have to be the male role model.

'She looks like a Scott, don't you think?' she suggested. 'Around the eyes? It's something about the shape. See?' The tip of her finger brushed the little tuck in Gracie's eyelid.

She looked up to see if Lucas was following her and found herself looking at the same familiar feature, deeper stronger in the man.

Lucas felt as if he were caring a parcel of eggs. Just one wrong move and they'd be crushed. Maybe Brooke was just as anxious because she kept her arm beneath his, laid her long slender fingers over his hand, as if to steady him.

After a while, as he became more confident, Brooke steeped back, leaving him holding this totally unexpected baby, who bore not the slightest resemblance to his brother. If she looked like anyone it was Brooke, which was strange because she was in no way related to Haley or Nathan. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him.

The little tuck in her eyelids was familiar though, and he said, 'So long as she hasn't got Nathan's nose.'

Brooke laughed at that and the sound wrapped itself around his heart, warming him, and he looked up. 'I wish…' he began, then stopped, not entirely sure what he was wishing for.

'Nathan never gave up hoping you'd turn up for the christening,' she said. 'He wanted you to stand as her godfather.'

'He knew why I couldn't be there.'

'Too busy conquering the world?' Then, when he didn't answer, didn't say anything, 'Here, let me take her,' she said, rescuing him. 'I'll change her and put her down while you have a shower. Then we'll eat.'

He lifted his head and glad at the change of subject, said, 'Actually, something dose smell good. How long have I got?'

Oh, half and hour should do it,' she said not waiting to see whether he took her advice, but heading for the stairs and the nursery.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lucas let the shower pummel him, lowering the temperature gradually until it was cold enough to put the life back into his body, wake up hi brain.

Doing his best to forget the moment when he'd come so close to breaking the promise he'd made to his brother. A promise he'd refused to free him from. Would never be able to free him from. To forget the look on Brooke's face as she'd looked up, and for just an instant he could have sworn that she'd seen the truth for herself.

He tugged on an old grey bathrobe that had been hanging there for as long as he could remember, waiting for him whenever he was passing through Tree Hill. He tired the belt and crossed the alcove to a corkboard, he reached over and pulled free a picture, curling with age, that Haley had taken of Nathan and him building the barbecue pit in the yard years ago. The Scott likeness was striking, but he and Nathan where only half brothers and looked more different then they did alike.

He tossed the photo on the desk and, turning to the closet, hunted out a pair of jeans that weren't too tight, a sweatshirt that didn't betray his adolescent taste in music.

Then he cheeked his new BlackBerry for messages, replying to a few that wouldn't wait. By then it was time to go back upstairs to Brooke, and to the miracle and disaster that was Gracie.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

Brooke took her time putting Gracie to bed.

She hadn't been so close, so intimate with Lucas in years and she needed to put a little time and space between them. Get her breathing, her heart rate back under control.

She didn't hurry changing her, washing her hands and face, feeding her little arms and legs into clean outfit, all the time talking to her, tickling her tummy, kissing her toes. Telling her she was the most beautiful baby in the world, just as Haley would have done.

Gracie waved a foot at her and she caught it, kissed it, peered into her eyes. Did all babies really have blue eyes? People said it was true, but was it? Gracie's eyes were such a familiar blue.

'You're a beautiful, smart girl,' she said doing up the snaps, then picking her up and nuzzling her tummy before putting her in her crib, 'and you're going to be just like your daddy.' She carried on talking to her as she wound the musical mobile, teasing, laughing, once she'd sit it gently turning, singing to her, very softly.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

Upstairs, Lucas stopped at the door to his brother's small study. As always, it was immaculately tidy, with only his address book and an antique silver frame on his desk.

He picked it up, stared at the picture of Haley cradling her new baby daughter. It looked perfect, but it was all so wrong. A lie. Even his perfect brother, who everyone had loved and thought could do no wrong after changing his wicked ways, had one, unexpected human, frailty.

He carfully replace the picture and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Later. He'd go through his papers later. Not that it would take long. He knew all the bills would be paid, life insurance up to date, will filed woth the family lawyer.

The he frowned. Had they changed it since Grace had been born? There hadn't been much time but Haley had never in the normal way of things, believed in leaving a mess for other people to clean up.

Whatever was going to happen now it seemed likely that Brooke would be the person most affected.

He wondered if she had the least idea how her life was about to change. How, on top of the loss of her closest friends, she might also lose the house that had become a home. The baby who she so selflessly surrendered and yet hadn't really surrendered, know that she would always be close to her. That she would still be hers to comfort. To hold….

He wiped those thoughts from his mind, took a breath and pushed open the kitchen door. 'Sorry,' he began. 'I had to make…' He stopped. Looked around. He could have sworn he'd heard her talking to Gracie but the kitchen was empty.

He shrugged, crossed to the cutlery drawer, planning to set the table. He'd barely opened it when he heard her again.

'Night-night, Gracie baby…' she said, laughing softly. 'Daddy's gorges little girl.'

He spun around, then saw the baby monitor on the counter. Was it two way? Could she hear him? No, of course not. But even so he stepped away from the drawer, planning to escape before she came down and found him eavesdropping on her private conversation with her baby.

There was the sound of something being wound up. The gentle tinkling of a lullaby. 'Goodnight, pretty girl. Sleep tight…'

His imagination supplied the vivid image of her bending over to kiss this very precious baby.

And then she began to sing and nothing could have torn him away.

**Thanks for reading and please review. **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Brooke came to an abrupt halt at the kitchen door. The table was set. A bottle of red wine had been uncorked. A jug of water beside it on the table. Everything ready for them to eat.

'Have you been waiting long?'

'I guessed you were still busy and made a start, that's all' he said, pulling out a chair. 'Sit down. I'll get the casserole.'

'No, I'll do that…'

'I'm here to help, not add to your burdens, Brooke.' He picked up a cloth, took the casserole out of the oven and placed it on the heat proof mat. 'Did Gracie go off to sleep?' he asked looking up.

'Like a log. Until her next feed.'

'And when is that?'

'Whoa… Enough,' she said as he heaped the meat and vegetables on her plate. The, answering his question. 'Around Ten. There are jacket potatoes in the top oven.' She leapt up to get them, but he reached out and, with a hand on her shoulder, said, 'Stay, I'll get them.'

She froze and he quickly removed his hand. It made no difference. She was certain that when she took off her shirt, she would see the imprint of his fingers burned into her skin.

He turned away, took the potatoes from the oven, placing one on each of their plates.

'No…'

'You have to eat,' he reminded her.

'Yes, but…' But not this much.

She let it go as, ignoring her, he fetched butter from the fridge, then picked up the bottle of wine, offering it to her. She shook her head and he beat her to the water, filling her glass.

'Nathan told me that Gracie was sleeping through the night,' he said when, all done, he sat down, picking up a fork.

'She was, but she's started waking up again. Missing her mother.' Then not wanting to think about that, she said, 'Nathan told you?'

'He e-mailed me daily bulletins. Sent photos.'

Why was she surprised? That was Nathan. Lucas might have walked away, but they were brothers and he would never let go.

'He wanted you to share his happiness, Lucas.'

'It was a little more complicated then that.'

'Your understanding of it maybe, ' she said when he didn't elaborate.

'I understood.'

'You just didn't approve.'

'No.'

'Why? What was your problem?' she hadn't understood it them and didn't now. 'He didn't pressure me. Neither of them did. It was my idea. I wanted to do it.'

For a moment she thought he was going to explain but, after a moment, he shook his head, said, 'When did you have your hair cut?'

Her hair? Well, maybe that was better than a return of a pointless argument. Although, if the general male reaction to her cutting her waist-length hair was anything to go by, maybe this was less a change of subject then a change of argument.

'About six months ago,' she said, trying not to sound defensive. Every man she knew seemed to have taken it as a personal affront. She, on the other hand, had found it liberating. 'When did you grow a beard?' she retaliated.

'About six months ago.'

'Oh, right. It's one of those cleave/dumb things.'

He thought about it, then shook his head. 'No. Sorry. You're going to have to explain that one.'

'Whenever someone dose something cleaver, in another part of the world another person dose something stupid to balance it out.' She said, as if everyone knew that. She shook her head and then, unable to stop herself, grinned. 'Sorry. I'm not teasing. I'm telling it the way I see it.'

'Is that right? Well, you're going to have to live with it. But while I'm not prepared to admit that the beard is dumb, I have to agree that your new styleis clever. It suits you, Brooke.'

'Oh…' She picked up her fork, took a mouthful of casserole.

'I really, really hate it,' he added, 'but there's no doubt that it suits you.'

'Pretty much like the beard,' she said. And, since the food hadn't actually choked her, she took another mouthful.

'Grow your hair again and I'll shave it off.'

It was an updated of arguments they'd used to have about the clothes she'd worn. The music he listened to.

'If you hold shares in a razor-blade company, sell them now,' she advised

For a moment they allowed the comfortable silence to continue, but finally Lucas shifted, said, 'Do you want to tell me about the funeral?'

She shrugged. 'Nathan and Haley had left instruction…' She swallowed. 'How could they do that? They were much too young to be thinking about things like that.'

'I imagine they did it for one another. So that whoever went first wouldn't be faced with making decisions. What did they want?'

'A simple funeral service in the local church, then a burial, right by Keith. I image that was Haley's doing. Your father wasn't impressed, but there was nothing he or Deb could do.

'One more reason for Nathan to have settled it all.'

'Lucas… He was their son,' she said helplessly.

'Not in any way that matters. His mother is living in Japan with some toy boy. His father spent 5 years in prison for killing our uncle. He hadn't spoken to either of them in years.'

She said nothing. What could she say? That they had both been dealt rubbish hands when it came to parents?

In a clear attempt to change the subject, Lucas said, 'How are you coping with your business? I heard your message canceling orders and obviously Gracie needs full-time care at the moment, but what are you doing about the store? Private commissions?

'Racheal has been tacking care of pretty much everything.'

'Have you actually been out of the house in the last few days? Apart from the funeral?'

She shook her head.

'Go into the store tomorrow. You need to keep some semblance of normality in your life.'

'Normality?' How on earth did he expect her to think about something as frivolous as clothes at a time like this?

'It's all you can do, Brooke. It's what Nathan and Haley would want.'

Of course it was, she didn't need Lucas to tell her that. But knowing it and doing it were two entirely different things.

I'll drop you off there when I go into town tomorrow,' he said. 'I have to talk to Nathan's lawyers. I spoke to them from the car on the way from the airport. They're expecting me first thing.'

'Right. Well, I suppose I should go to the store. Process what orders I can fill from stock, send notes to people about anything that's going to be delayed, give them the chance to cancel.'

'Your still making the dresses your self?'

'I'm not into mass production, Lucas. People come to me because they know they'll never see anyone else wearing the same dress. The same outfit.'

'you don't see yourself as a franchise operation with a shop in every mall five years from now? He asked, with a smile.

'Er…No.' She liked the way things were. Controllable. Totally hers.

'Then you need to find some other way to grow. A static business is a dying business.'

'Possibly, but not now.' Then she groaned.

'What?'

'I promised Blair Wagner that I'd have the dresses done for her bridesmaids. There almost done. I can bring them home, finish it here.'

'No,' he said, and she looked up, startled by the insistence in his voice. 'I really don't think that wise.'

'But Gracie…'

'You need to keep your work and your home life separate.'

Again he had the look of a man with something on his mind.

'Easy to say. Peyton would take care of her, but Gracie needs continuity, Lucas. She's already confused. Leaving her with anyone who has an hour to spare just so that I can keep working won't do.'

'I know,' he said. Then, more gently, 'I know.'

'I suppose I could take her with me.' Was that his point?

That she was about to become a single mother with a business to run and she needed to think about how she was going to manage that. Answering herself, she said, I'd have to install some basic essentials if it's going to be a permanent thing.'

'Like what?'

'You want a list?' she asked, smiling despite everything. 'How long have you got?'

'I'm on no hurry.'

'Do you have the slightest idea how much stuff a baby on the move needs?' It was a rhetorical question and she wasn't expecting an answer. 'Actually, I suppose I could ask Owen to partition off the far end of my workshop so that I could turn it in to a nursery.' Then, irritated at how easily he'd manipulated her into think about the future when she didn't want to think about anything, she said, 'Okay, that's my life sorted. Now tell me about yours. About Nepal. China. What are you writing about?'

He began talking about the amazing things he had seen, the nature, the art, which should have bored her senseless, but just being the centre of his attention, being able to listen to him without pretence was such a rare treat that she didn't actually care what he was saying.

And when he turned the conversation to he new line, showing a keen interest in what she did, her stories about some of the odder characters who commissioned dresses made them laugh.

He told her about places he'd visited, both the fabulous and the foul. The creepier fans, that attended his singings.

She told him about her recent trip to New York for fashion week.

Finally, long after they'd finished eating, Lucas stood up. 'It's late, your tired,' he said clearing the dishes.

She didn't bother fight with him over it – he was right, she was finding it hard to stay awake – but instead rinsed plates and cutlery, stacking them in the dishwasher as he cleared the table. She wiped mats as he put away the butter and wine. Their hands momentarily entangled as they both reached for the cruet and she found herself looking up at him,

'I'll take the pepper. You take the salt,' he said after a moment.

'No,' she said pulling back, 'It's all yours, Lucas. You're right. I'm done and by the time I've had a bath, Gracie will be awake again demanding food.'

'Are you okay up there by yourself now that Peyton's gone home?' he asked. 'I could just as easily sleep in one of the spare rooms.'

'I'll be fine.'

He lifted his hand, laid his palm against her cheek. 'Sure?' he asked.

She swallowed. 'Really. Besides, if Grace is restless she'll keep you awake.'

'I have to fall asleep first. I'm going to look through some of Nathan's things before I go down.'

'Right, but don't forget you're supposed to be working on US time.'

He smiled 'I won't.' Then, before she could move, he lead in close and kissed her cheek. 'Good night, Brooke.'

'Um… good night,' she said, backing away until she reached the doo, then turning and running up the stairs before she said or did anything stupid.

She took a steadying breath before she glanced at Gracie and then, in the safety of the bathroom, she leaned back against the door, her hand to her cheek, still feeling the soft prickle of his close-cropped beard as it brushed against her skin.

Remembering the shook of his kiss as he'd woken her – when she was anything but Sleeping Beauty – knowing how easy it would have been for her to have asked him to stay with her. How easy it would have been to turn into his arms for the comfort they both craved.

She ran a bath, added a few drops of lavender oil. But even up to her neck in soothing warm water she discovered that once having thought about it, it was impossible to get the image of Lucas, of her, their naked bodies entwined, limbs glistening with perspiration.

Horrified that she could be thinking about such a thing at a time like this, she sank beneath the water in an attempt to cleanse the thoughts from her mind. Or maybe just to blot out everything. Only to erupt in a panic when she thought she heard Gracie crying.

Her ears full of water she couldn't hear anything, but when she threw a bathrobe around her and checked, she found the baby lying peacefully asleep.

She rubbed her hair dry, then eased herself into bed in the room next to the nursery. Closed her eyes and slept.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Lucas replaced the cordless phone in Nathan's study, then opened the door, pausing at the foot of the stairs, listening. Everything was quiet. Brooke couldn't have heard the phone – his Chinese publisher hunting him down with impatient need to set up a meeting – or she'd have come down. Unless she'd fallen asleep in the bath?

The dark hollows beneath her eyes told their own story and, knowing he wouldn't sleep until he'd reassured himself, he kicked off his shoes and, as quietly as he could, went upstairs.

The bathroom door was unlocked. He opened it a few inches and said, 'Brooke?' When he didn't get a reply, he glanced inside and saw, with relief, that it was empty. The as he turned away, he saw the nursery door was slightly ajar and, unable to help himself, he pushed it open, took a step in side.

He stood for a moment by the crib, looking down at the sleeping infant. Listing to her soft breathing, assailed by a torment of confused emotions as he conceded every possible future. For Gracie. For Brooke.

**AN: I know that you are all a little confused, but stick with me because the next chapter will reveal some big stuff. Thank you to those people who did review, I'm a little sad that considering all the people who had this on alert I'm only getting about two reviews per chapter. Chapter five will be out tomorrow! If I get some reviews, if not you wait!**


	5. Chapter 5

**So it seems I have found the secret to getting reviews is holing chapters for ransom. I really loved all your reviews they honestly make my day. For the past week writing has been helping me to grieve. My mother, who I hadn't talk to in almost two years past away without warning. So this helps me keep my mind off of things. **

**This chapter is short, but crucial and took a lot of research, as I gave birth to both my babies myself I have no idea about the surrogate process, so any information below came form the net and may not be correct. **

**I also have a feeling that a topic in here might be a little controversial, but please read the whole chapter before you give up on this story or jump down my throat. **

Chapter Five

Brooke laughed as, her bottle empty, Gracie turned to nuzzle at her breast, searching for more.

'Greedy baby,' she chinned softly. It was just getting light and miraculously, they had both slept through.

She looked up as the squeak of the door warned her that she was no longer alone.

As Lucas padded silently across the kitchen floor on bare feet, unaware that he had company, her first thought was that he didn't look so hot.

Then, as he reached the coffee maker, switching it on and staring out the window at the pink and grey dawn while he waited, she thought again.

He might have a hollow – eyed look of a man who'd spent the night staring at the ceiling but, in washed thin sweat pants and nothing else, he looked very hit indeed.

'Coffee for me,' she said, before the train of thought joined last's night's beach fantasy and got completely out of hand. Then, as he spun around in shock, 'If you're offering.'

'Brooke…I didn't see you there. Why are you sitting in the dark?'

'I've been feeding Gracie,' she said. 'There's more chance that she'll go back to sleep if I leave the light off.' Then, 'Is the coffee maker playing up again?'

He looked at the machine, which was clearly working, then at her.

'The one downstairs,' she said. 'Haley was going to buy a new one before…' Before the christening. But Lucas had been to busy to fly home, so she hadn't bothered.

'What? No,' he said. 'I don't know. It was claustrophobic in the basement. Since I moved last year I've got used to seeing the sky when I wake up.'

'You have to go to sleep before you wake up,' she pointed out.

He shrugged. 'I managed an hour or two. I don't need a lot of sleep.'

'I remember,' she said.

'Do you?'

It was a good thing that the half-light was pink because she flushed crimson. That wasn't what she'd meant…'I remember Nathan saying that you'd moved to some fabulous new penthouse with views to the end of the world.'

They'd gone out to LA to visit, just after he'd moved in, but that had been BP. Before preganacy.

He regarded her for a full ten seconds before turning away, filling two mugs with coffee.

'Will you stay and keep an eye on Gracie while I go take a shower?' she asked, easing herself to her feet, laying the sleeping babe in her crib, then fetching the milk from the fridge. 'Milk?' she asked, after poring a slosh into one mug.

He didn't answer and when she look up, she realized that he was staring down at the overlarge dressing gown she was wearing, or rather at the way it was gaping open where she'd held Grace to against her breast as she'd fed her from the bottle, as Haley had, giving her the same skin to skin closeness as breastfeeding.

'This is Haley's.' she said, self consciously pulling it around her, tightening the belt. 'it's a bit big, but I've been wearing it so that Gracie has the comfort of her scent.'

'Until yours and hers becomes indistinguishable?'

'No! it was just while she was away.' Except, of course, her best friend wasn't ever coming back. 'I hadn't thought that far ahead.'

'No,' he said, with very heavy finality that suggested she hadn't thought very much about anything. 'Although I suspect that unless her table manners improve, all she's going to get is the smell of stale milk or dribble.'

She frowned.

'There's a damp patch,' he said, then, when she looked down. 'No the other side…'

'Oh, shout! I'm leaking.'

'Leaking?'

She opened the cupboard, grabbed a sealed pack of sterilized bottles. 'Make yourself comfortable. I may be a while,' she said, heading for the door.

'Wait!' He caught her arm. 'You're feeding the baby with your own milk?'

He sounded shocked. Instantly on the defensive, she said, 'Of course. Why wouldn't I?'

'You have to ask?'

Confused by his reaction, she said, 'Apparently.'

He shook his head. You're expressing your own milk, putting it in a bottle and then sitting down and feeding Gracie with it. Do I really have to explain what is wrong with that picture?'

'There's not a thing wrong with it. Breast milk is the very best start for a baby. Everyone knows that.'

'In an ideal world,' he replied, 'but I suspect that precious few surrogate mothers stick around to play wet nurse.'

'I'm not!'

'It sure as hell seems that way.'

She stared at him, shaken by the fierceness of his reaction.

'Well. You know, maybe this isn't a normal surrogacy, Lucas'

'Really?'

How could anyone invent such an ordinary word for such a mixture of irony, distance, plain old disbelief? Brooke didn't bother to respond, defend herself, since clearly he was a long way from finished.

'In what way isn't this normal?' he asked. 'Your not married, so there was nothing to stop Nathan's name being on the birth certificate. I assume that happened?'

'Of course.'

'And presumable you went through all the legal hoops with the court-appointed social worker? Signed all the paper work so that the Parental Order could be issued, along with a new birth certificate in which Haley and Nathan were named as Grace's parents?'

'Of course. We were really lucky. It can take up to a yea to get everything settled, but there was space in the court calmer and, since the social worker was happy, the paperwork was completed in double quick time.'

'So you are aware that you've surrender any legal rights you had as Gracie's birth mother?'

Brooke clutched the plastic containers against her chest, a shield against words that meant nothing and yet still had the power to hurt her.

'You've done your homework,' she said, more then unnerved at his thoroughness in checking out the legal formalities. Trying to figure out what, exactly, he was getting at.

'I did, as a matter of fact,' he replied, 'although, since Nathan explained everything in his regular progress bulletin, it was more for my own peace of mind then necessity.'

That was Nathan, she thought. He would have never given up trying to make Lucas see how perfect it all was. Trying to break down whatever his problem had been with this arrangement.

Poor Nathan….

'So why are you asking me all this?' she demanded, making an effort to concentrate, trying not to think about what had happened, but how totally happy Nathan had been. 'Since you already know so much.'

'I just wanted to be sure that you fully understand the situation.'

'Of course I understand. And I didn't "surrender" Gracie. She was always Haley's baby.'

'Truly?'

He slipped his hand inside her gown and laid it over the thin silk of her nightgown, fingers spread wide across her waist to encompass her abdomen in a shockingly interment gesture. Her heart quickened to his touch.

'Even while she was lying here? When you could feel her moving? When it was just the two of you in the night? You didn't have a single doubt?'

It was as if he were reading her mind. Had been there with her in the darkness, the restless baby in her womb keeping her awake, thinking about how different it could have been. How all those years before, she'd longed for that protection he'd used to have failed, knowing that a baby was the one thing that would have brought him back to her.

She hated herself for wishing it, knowing how wrong it was to want a baby only to bind him to her. If he'd loved her, he would not have left. Or, if he had, would not have been able to stay away.

Knowing that carrying his brother's child for her best friend was the nearest she was ever going to get to have Lucas' child growing under her heart. But that was for her to know. No one else.

She knew she should move, step back, stop this, but the warmth, strength of his hand against her body held her to him like a magnet.

'Well?' he demanded, pressing her for an answer.

'No,' she mouthed, no sound escaping. The again, 'No! it isn't unknown for a women to carry a baby for her friend,' she told him. 'It was once quite common for a women to give a childless sister or friend one or even two of her own babies to raise.'

'This isn't the nineteenth century.'

'no. And I've no doubt some of the neighbors believe I actually had sex with Nathan in order to conceive but, since you've done your homework, you couldn't possible think that. Could you?'

'Of course not…'

'Only, for your information, he was at an away game in Boston when all the planets were in alignment but since the clinic already had his contribution in their freezer that wasn't a problem.'

'I know how it's done, Brooke.'

'You have been thorough.'

'I didn't need to look that up on the internet,' he said, his face grim now.

'No? Well, know this. Since I was here, living under the same roof, it made perfect sense to give Gracie the very best start possible.'

'Did it? And whose idea was that? The whole breast feeding thing.'

'Dose it matter?' He didn't answer, just waited for her to tell him what he already belived he knew. And infuriatingly, she couldn't deny it. 'Haley would never have asked.'

'No, I didn't think it was her idea. So how long had you planned to stretch it out, Brooke? Six, none months? Or were you planning to be one of those earth mother types...?'

'That's enough!' she said, firmly managing to step away from him. 'This wasn't about me. You told me that Nathan was incoherent with joy. Well, I want you to imagine how Haley felt. After years of tests, hoping, waiting, longing for a baby of her own. The fertility treatment. All those failed IVF cycles. How do you think she felt when the midwife put Gracie in her arms?'

'No one would deny that you did a generous, beautiful thing, Brooke.'

'you thought I was wrong then and you still do.'

'No…Not you.'

'Nathan then?' Now she was confused . who exactly did he blame for what had happened? 'Haley?'

'They were desperate. Beyond reason…' He shook his head. 'It no longer matters. All I'm saying is that it might have been better if you'd gone away for a while. Afterwards. Cut the cord, not just physically, but emotionally.'

He was so obviously concerned for her that she couldn't be angrey with him.

'Or were you already planning on doing this over again a year form now so that Grace could have a brother or sister?'

She took a step back. He followed her.

'Are you really so terrified of getting out there and making a life for yourself that you were ready to settle for having a second-hand family? One without the risk of making you commit to a relationship? Leaving the comfort of the nest?'

On the other had…

'So what if I did,' she retaliated defiantly. 'What possible business is it of yours?'

'It's my business because, unless either of them left specific guardianship instructions,' he said, 'as Nathan's and Haley's executor, I'll be the one playing Solomo with Grace's future.

She felt the blood drain from her face. 'What are you saying?' and then she knew, 'No. You can't take her from me. You wouldn't. She mine…'

The words were out before she could stop them.

'I thought we'd just established that she's anything but yours. That you have no rights.'

'No…' It wasn't like that. Okay, so maybe he was right. Maybe she'd never given Gracie up in the way a true surrogate would have done. But she was her aunt. Her godmother. Obviously she was going to be close. Be there for her if ever she needed her. And she needed her now. 'No!' she said it again, this time with a touch of desperation. 'You don't want her! You couldn't even be bothered to come home for her christening!'

He bit down hard, clearly fighting an angry retort. Then, very calmly, very quietly, he said, 'Forget me Brooke. Where Gracie is concerned, I'm the last person you need to worry about.'

Confused, she frowned. 'So what are you saying?'

Before he could answer, the phone began to ring.

Lucas, closer, reached out and unhooked the phone from it's cradle on the kitchen wall, responding with a curt, 'Scott.'

He listened impassively for what seemed like forever, then he said, 'We'll expect you when we see you.'

'Who was it?' she asked as he hung up, turned back to face her.

'Nathan's mother…'

'Is she coming to see you?'

'…Gracie's grandmother,' he said, his face set, his expression grim, 'who will be here sometime this morning.'

He clearly had something on his mind.

'Now I'll finish what I was saying when the phone rang,' he looked so angry, so fierce. 'When I was telling you that I was the last of your worries.'

'Last? When did you ever come last in anything?' she demanded.

Least of all where she was concerned.

'Last,' he repeated. 'I come a long way down the list of next of kin. The only person who's lower then me on this particular list is you. After Deb, Haley's parents, Haley's sisters, my father even…' he let the words hang, giving her time to work it out for herself. And, when she did, her heart stopped beating, her legs buckled and there was a crash as the pack of bottles she was carrying fell to the floor.

If Lucas hadn't reached out and caught her, she'd have followed it but, his arms around her, he supported her, held her close.

'I won't let it happen,' he said fiercely, as she subsided weakly against his naked chest, a rock in a world that was disintegrating around her. He stroked his hand over her hair in a gesture meant to calm her. 'Trust me, Brooke. Whatever it takes. You have my promise.'

The temptation to stay in the safety of his arms almost overwhelmed her. To call him on that promise. Leave him to fight her corner. But he wasn't always going to be around to make things right for her. If there was to be a battle, she would fight for her daughter. But she didn't think it would be necessary.

'It's all right, Lucas,' she said, lifting her cheek from the steady beating of his heart, the warm silk of his skin. 'They wouldn't want her,' she said, looking up at him.

'No,' he said, his face grim. 'But they might want the legacy of the nice house, a couple of generous life insurance policies and whatever Nathan's contras are worth. Even after the government takes it cut in inheritance tax, it's still going to provide a very nice expense account for anyone who can prove their case for bringing up Grace.'

'What?' Then, 'Are you suggesting any of them would just take her for the money?'

'There are other factors. Dan has a second family. A young wife. Three little girls who would love a new baby sister.'

'But she's my baby!' the betraying words flew from her lips and in that instant she knew he'd spoken no more then the truth. She'd given her friends her baby, but she hadn't been able to totally let go.

'Deb I'm sure would give up her present precarious existences for this house, a steady income. She would of course hire a first class nanny for Gracie. Might even offer you the job.'

Brooke shook her head. 'She's mine,' she repeated. 'If it comes to a fight, any court would have to recognize that.'

He shook his head. 'I spent a long time last night researching this on the net. You carried a fertilized egg and once you completed the formalities, that's it. In the law your no more to Grace then her godmother. Nothing changes that.'

'No…' that small word held a world off pain, of loss. First Nathan and Haley and now this. The, as his words filtered through, she said, 'No. That's not right. You don't understand. I didn't… It wasn't…'

'What?' He was looking down at her, but now his forehead was furrowed in a frown, his grip tighter and, when she didn't answer, he gave her a little shake. 'It wasn't what, Brooke?'

She looked up at him. She'd promise Haley she'd never tell, but Haley would want her, expect her to do whatever it took to keep her baby.

'It wasn't Haley's egg, Luke. It was mine.'

**AN: Well there you go. One secret is out and then next chapter will reveal more. I hope to have it up this evening but, it depends on how long my babies nap for. **

**Please review, good or bad….**

**- B**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN; I know, I'm horrible. I had ever intention of updating, but the girls didn't nap and then the next day we were driving to my Boyfriends parents house in Boston, from New York. I thought u was going to be able to write in the car, but staring down at the laptop made me feel sick. So to make it up to you this chapter is extra long and reveling. **

Chapter Six

'But…'

Now it was Lucas who looked as if he needed something to hold on to. 'They'd been going through IVF,' he protested. 'There were eggs available. Nathan told me…'

'Nathan…' she swallowed. 'Nathan didn't know,'

Brooke was propelled back by the shock that came off him in waves. She grabbed for the back of a kitchen chair, then sank down on it as her shaking legs finally refused to support her.

She gestured weakly at the chair beside her. 'Sit down Lucas.' He didn't move and she said , 'Please,'

For a moment she thought he was going to ignore her plea, turn around, walk away, just as he had when she'd told him she was pregnant with his brother's baby. That there was nothing he could do or say to stop her going ahead with the surrogacy.

And so he'd said nothing.

But after endless seconds, he pulled out the chair beside her and down onto it.

'Tell me,' he said. Tell me everything.'

Brooke looked across at the crib, then back at Lucas. 'I couldn't bear to see what they were going through after the failure of the last cycle, when the consultant called a halt, saying that Haley wasn't strong enough to go through any more.'

She reached out, wanting him to understand, but there was something about the way he was holding himself, something so taut, so close to cracking, that she didn't quite dare cross that line. 'You have to understand how hard it was for them,' she pressed, wanting him to feel their pain. 'It was as if someone had died.'

'I understood,' he said shortly.

'Did you?'

Lucas understood only too well.

Maintaining that cheerful, positive front for Haley had been tough of his brother. Nathan had taken to calling him late at night when Haley had been asleep, pouring out his desperation, his sense of failure. There had been one call, when his brother had sounded so desperate that Lucas had dropped everything and flown home, seriously concerned that he was on the point of a breakdown. Something Haley had been too wrapped up in her own loss to recognize.

Brooke pressed him for an answer. 'Did you really, Lucas?'

'I understand that it had become an obsession, that it was destroying them both,' he said. 'I wanted Nathan to put a stop to it. Let it go. Adopt.'

'That seems such an obvious choice to the outsider,' she said. 'For a women yearning for a baby of her own…' She let out a long shuddering sigh. 'I loved them both so much, to see them hurting like that was unbearable.'

'So it was you who suggested the surrogacy?'

'Not until I was sure it was possibility. Like you, I did my research online, found a site run by and for people who'd already been through this. Then I saw my doctor, talked it through with her. Had all the health checks. I didn't want to raise Haley's hopes, not until I had the medical all clear.'

'You should have had counseling. What if you'd found you couldn't give up the baby? It happens.'

'I know.'

'But then you weren't really giving her up were you?'

She didn't argue. She could see how it must look to him, but he hadn't been the one lying in bed listing to her baby crying in the night, screwing the sheets into knots as she clung to the bed, waiting for Haley to call her, ask her to help. A call she knew would never come.

'When I told them I was ready and willing to have one of Haley's eggs implanted, the both cried.'

'They didn't try to talk you out of it? Either of them?'

Here eyes flashed impatiently. 'Of course they did, Nathan said that it was time for them to take the adoption route.'

'But Haley was hooked.' he finished for her.

'They weren't that young any more. We all knew that adoption would not have been easy. And I was absolutely certain that it was something I wanted to do.'

'So.'

'Nathan had to go to Boston for an away game. He said we'd talk about it again when he got back.' She shrugged. 'While he was gone, Haley and I went to see her consultant so that we'd have all the options when he got back. He gave it to us straight. While he was prepared to attempt implanting a fertilized egg, he didn't need to labor the point about how much harder it is to get a result that way.' She was staring at her hands. 'Haley had tried, Lucas. I'd seen what it did to her. Simple artificial insemination is much easier, much more reliable. By the time Nathan came home, it was done.'

Lucas rose slowly to his feet. Some sound must have escaped him, because Brooke said,

'She's still Nathan's baby…'

He shook his head and for a moment she faltered, but she quickly rallied and, on her feet, came back at him with a fierce, 'Yes! Grace is still just as much your niece as if Haley had given birth to her.'

'No…'

This time the word felt as if it had been torn from the depths of his soul, as feelings that he'd been battling with for over a year threatened to overwhelm him.

'Please, Luke,' she said, her hand reaching for his, her voice urgent now, desperate. 'Gracie needs you.'

'No!' His bellow, reverberating around the high ceiling, was echoed by a startled cry from the baby.

He was beside her in a stride, lifting her from the crib, holding her out in front of him at arm's length.

'Gracie Scott is not my niece,' he said. Then tucker the little girl protectively against his shoulder, he turned to Brooke. 'She's my daughter.'

'What?'

'She's my daughter, our daughter.'

'No,' she said, shaking her head, taking a step back, looking out at the world as if she'd just steeped on the tail of a sleeping lion. 'Don't…'

If ever her eyes betrayed her feelings, they betrayed them now. The she turned away, as if she couldn't bear to look at him, walking to where she'd dropped the bottles and bent to pick them up.

'Give her to me,' she said.

'It's the truth,' he said, refusing to surrender Grace when, still not looking at him, she held out her arms to take her. He had to make her look at him. Had to convince her. 'Nathan would have done anything and, God forgive me, I conspired in his deception.'

She let her arms drop, turned and walked out of the room.

'You can't hide from this,' he said, following her. 'Or bury your head in the sand. You're going to have to fight to keep your baby.'

She stopped at the foot of the stairs, swung around to face him. 'From you?' she demanded angrily. 'Is that what this is all about?' She gestured at the baby still nestled against his shoulder. 'Control of Nathan's baby?'

'My baby. Why else would I have tried to stop the surrogacy? What I did, I did for Nathan. To ease his torment. If Haley had become pregnant, if she'd had a baby, I could have lived with it. Been glad for them. But to know that you were carrying my child…'

'It was the same, Lucas.'

'No, Brooke. It was completely different. You were carrying my child. Have you any idea how that made me feel?'

That at least, gave her pause. The anger died from her eyes, to be replaced by some other emotion. One that was far harder to read.

'How?'

'I can't explain…' it was true. There was no vocabulary for the anguish he'd felt, knowing that a women he'd loved was carrying his child only to give it away. That she would never-could never- know the truth. He'd felt as if he were stealing something from her. Losing part of himself.

'Why didn't you just tell me, Lucas? Instead of going on and on about what a fool I was. How I'd regret it.'

'Nathan made me swear…'

'On what? Your father's life?' Sarcasm dripped from her tongue and he didn't blame her.

'Not even Haley knew,' he said.

'I don't believe you. He wouldn't have deceived her.'

'Just like Haley wouldn't have deceived Nathan?' he retaliated, and color streaked across her cheekbones. 'If it helps, with Haley's history I didn't believe there was the slightest chance of her carrying the baby to full term.'

'No, Lucas, adding cynicism to deception doesn't help one bit.'

'No, I don't suppose it doesn't.' Then, 'If it would have changed anything, despite my promise, I would have told you.'

'But I told you what I hadn't told them. That you were too late. I was already pregnant.'

He nodded.

'Maybe, if we hadn't jumped the gun, if we'd waited until he came home,' Brooke said, 'he would have told me.'

'Maybe.' But, as their eyes locked, they both knew that it was never going to happen.

'But…' She shook her head. 'I don't understand. Why? Why would he do it? Why would you?'

'Nathan was desperate and I had no choice.'

'They were both desperate, but there was no problem with Nathan. It was Haley. They both knew that…'

'I know,' he said. 'I know. But while he was holding it together on the surface for Haley, he was perilously close to a breakdown. She was going through so much to give them both what they wanted, Nathan felt so useless and that somehow morphed into the certainty that it was his fault they couldn't have children, I tried to get him to see a counselor but he just begged me…' Brooke was staring at him and he broke off, unable to continue. 'You're not the only one who owed Nathan and Haley,' he said angrily. 'They took me in, too. I only did what you did, Brooke.'

'You think?' She lifted one eyebrow. 'A few minutes in a cubicle with a magazine?'

'If you knew how helpless men feel,' he said. How helpless, how confused he'd felt, knowing that she was carrying a child he'd so unwillingly helped make. 'If I'd had any idea where it would lead, I'd never have gone through with it…'

Brooke was in turmoil, couldn't begin to think straight, but one message was coming over loud and clear. That while he had been prepared to assist Haley to get pregnant, he'd flown half way around the world in an attempt to stop her from having his baby.

'It's okay, Lucas. No need to labor it,' she snapped. 'I get the picture. Haley could have your baby, but I wasn't good enough.'

'No! That's not right. How could you not be good enough?'

'Then why?'

'Haley was just Haley. Nathan's wife. You…' She'd never seen Lucas struggle for words like this.

'What?' She demanded. 'How bad can it be?'

'Not bad. Far from bad, but we were in love Brooke.'

'In love?'

'You were my first, Brooke.'

His first, her last…she didn't want to think about how pathetic that was. 'I still don't understand what your problem was.'

'Don't you?' He looked at Gracie for a moment, then back at her. 'My problem was that when Nathan told me you were going to have a baby for Haley – not his, but my baby – it made me feel the way I did when you left me all those years ago. Like I had cheated you again.'

'Yeah well, we were young then, my head was missing that night, and so was your heart.'

She might as well have slapped him. Yesterday she'd wanted to, now…

Now she had to deal with the fact that it was Lucas, not Nathan who was the father of her baby. That it wasn't simple biology, a surrogacy without emotional involvement or ties, but that ten years too late, her darkest dream had come true.

She didn't want to slap him, she wanted to hold him. Wanted him to hold her, tell her that it would be all right…

It was never gong to happen.

He'd made his feelings plain. He hadn't expected or wanted this child. He'd once told her, when she'd found him burning photo's of his father, that he would never have children.

Later, when Nathan and Lucas had gone to the river court, Haley had told her that there had been a letter, explaining that Dan would be paroled early on good behavior, and that he was getting remarried.

'I have to deal with this,' she said, clutching the pack of bottles to her.

'You can't run away form this, Brooke. Can't hide. Can't curl up and make it go away. Grace is our daughter and we're going to have to sit down and decided what is best for her.' He looked down at the dark curls of the baby who was chewing at his shoulder. 'Make decisions that will alter all our lives.'

'She's Haley and Nathan's daughter,' she replied, a touch desperately. She wasn't ready to talk about anything else right now. She needed time to come to terms with what he'd told her. That she'd had Lucas Scott's baby. 'It says so on her birth certificate, as you've taken great pains to remind me.'

'All the more reason…'

'No. You didn't want her, Lucas. You never wanted her. You flew from Australia to try and stop her from being conceived.'

'And failed.' He came close to a smile. 'Not that I'm the first man to face that situation. Although I'm probably the first not to at least have the fun of getting myself there.'

'Sorry, I can't help you with that one, Lucas,' Brooke said with a desperate flippancy that she was far from feeling. 'You'll just have to dig deep in your memory for consolation.'

'Not that deep,' he replied without hesitation, his eyes glinting dangerously as he lifted a hand to her face, ran his thumb down the side of her cheek. And for a moment all she could think about was how he'd kissed her – not ten years ago, but yesterday, when he'd woken her. Kissed her, kissed his baby. Because he'd always know that Grace was his. And now he knew that she was hers, too.

This was the first time either of them had ever talked about their failed relationship and Brooke discovered that at twenty – eight years of age she could still blush like a shy fourteen –year-old.

Maybe Lucas, too, was experiencing whatever similar response men felt when, without warning, they stumbled into emotional quicksand because, for a moment neither of them spoke.

Then Brooke said, 'You're okay, Lucas. I don't have a father who cares enough to get out a shot gun and make you do the right thing.'

'I know all about uncaring fathers, Brooke. You're right. Having seen the dark side, fatherhood is not something I ever wanted, but here I am, like it or not.'

And Brooke, who hadn't thought beyond the next hour for more then a week, realized that she had better start putting in some serious thinking time about what future she saw for Grace. For herself.

'This changes everything, doesn't it? She said, sinking onto the stairs.

Lucas sat down beside her, put his spare arm around her, pulled her against his chest. 'Everything,' he agreed.

They sat there for long minutes, both of them contemplating the future. Until last week, each had seen the road clear ahead of them. Two separate paths. One a quiet small town road, the other a challenging climb up a twisting mountain path with the end lost in the clouds. Now their ways merged in a pothole – strewn lane that was shrouded in swirling mists.

It was Grace, waving a hand and grabbing a handful of Lucas' hair, who finally bought them back to now, this minute and, as he yelped, Brooke lifted her head, smiling despite everything as she rescued him from the baby's grasp.

'Did she pull it out by the roots?' he asked, rubbing at his scalp.

'Not much. Get used to it.'

'Will you help?'

'I'm in for the duration, Lucas.'

And that, she realized, was all that mattered. She was now the only mother Grace would ever have and she just had to get on with it. If Lucas wanted to be a father…Well, that was good, but she wasn't holding her breath.

And, with that, the world steadied and, realizing that she was still clutching the bottles, she got to her feet. Milk. Shower. Work. Concentrate on one thing at a time. Do what had to be done and the rest would fall into place…

'I'll be as quick as I can,' she said, glancing down at him.

'You're leaving Gracie with me?' She saw panic flash across his face. 'What do I do with her?'

She paused, the words "Be a father" burning on her brain. Not Fair. She wanted him around for Grace, but she wouldn't stoop to blackmail.

He hadn't asked for – or wanted – this.

'Just keep her amused for a while,' she said, forcing herself to walk up the stairs, away from them. She got very nearly halfway before she looked back.

He hadn't moved, but was looking up at her, dirty blond hair still messy from bed, ancient sweatpants sagging below his waist, exposing a band of paler skin, bare feet. Grace propped in is elbow, happily sucking at his naked shoulder.

If she had trawled her imagination for a perfect picture of fatherhood, she couldn't have bettered it.

Don't go there, she warned herself. It might only take one little tadpole waking up from deep freeze and eager to explore to make a baby, but being a father required a lifetime of commitment. He saved his energies for really important stuff, like dominating the New York Times Best Seller List.

'Better still,' she said, a catch in her throat, 'let her amuse you.'

Lucas looked at the baby, then back at her. 'What dose she do?'

'Do? She's not a performing seal.' Then, because he was clearly so far out of his depth he was in danger of drowning, she threw him a lifeline. 'She's just learned to roll over. If you put her down on the carpet, she'll show you.'

She didn't wait to see what he did, but ran up two flights of stairs to her room, her brain pounding out the words Lucas's baby over and over.

She'd been carrying Lucas' baby inside her for nine months and not known. Had given birth to Lucas' baby and had given her away.

How could she have done that?

How could she have looked at her and not seen? The little eyelid tuck. The deep blue eyes. A little curl that fell right over her eye.

He was right not to have told her.

To have known and have to give her up, even to her best friend, would have been like tearing her heart from her body and, without it, she would never have survived.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Once she finished expressing her milk, Brooke took a shower, then sorted through her closet for something suitable for the trip into town, ignoring her usual bright colors as inappropriate, choosing the navy suite she normally kept for visits to the bank.

She'd suggest walking into town. Apart from avoiding the hassle of parking, it would be good to stretch their legs, get some fresh air, They could cut through the river court park on there way home, maybe take some bread. It was way past time that Gracie was introduced to the joys of feeding the ducks. Haley had always loved doing that.

To the outside world they'd look like any ordinary family, she thought. Mother, father, baby. All they lacked was a dog.

She put her hand over her mouth, squeezed her eyes tight shut. Hung on until the urge to howl passed.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

_Brooke's baby…_

The words thumped through Lucas's head as he took the stairs down to the basement. Last night he'd stood for a long time in the shadows of the nursery, watching his child sleeping, as every shade of emotion raced through him.

Anger, confusion, guilt. Grief at not just the loss of his brother and best friend, but of this last year when he'd walled himself up, unable to come to terms with what he'd done. Feeling somehow cheated, used. Worst of all, having deep buried feelings for Brooke stirred up to torment him.

The minute he'd stopped concentrating on something else, his mind would sandbag him with memories of how it had felt to be buried to the hilt in her sweet, hot body, her legs wrapped around him as she'd cried out his name. Creating pictures of her carrying his child, as if the one had led from the other.

He'd never wanted to be a father. No man had ever been more careful to avoid it. Ever when they had a brief scare in high school , he'd been scared at how badly he would fuck it up, like his father had him and Nathan.

Even when he'd gone to the clinic, done the necessary, he managed to distance himself from the reality of it. Any baby would be Nathan's, not his. And it had worked until he had discovered that it was Brooke who'd be carrying his seed, at which point dispassion had deserted him.

Now, lifting his little girl from his shoulder, holding her in front of him, he was faced with more reality then he could handle.

'So, Gracie,' he said, 'are you going to amuse me?'

Grace, head wobbling slightly, frowned in concentration as if considering his question, just as her mother had once frowned over homework.

'Your mother said you can roll. Is that the extent of your repertoire?'

That earned him his first smile.

'What? You think that's a funny word do you?'

Grace made a grab for his cheek, found the short stubble of his beard and tugged. 'Oh, no, you don't, young lady,' he gasped and, eyes watering, put her down on the carpet, pulled on the sweatshirt he'd discarded the night before, then settled down on the floor beside her.

Grace stuck her fingers in her mouth and flung her legs up in the air.

'Oh, please,' he said. 'Is that anyway for a lady to behave?'

Grace blew a bubble.

'You really are Brooke's baby,' he laughed.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Brooke put the bottles in the fridge, set the table for breakfast and then, since Lucas and Gracie had still not appeared, she went looking for them.

They weren't in the living room – the most obvious "rolling" territory – or anywhere else on the ground floor.

The door to the basement was still open.

She crossed to it, but hesitated on the threshold. It wasn't that she never went down there. She had always volunteered to prepare it for him when he'd been expected home, whisking through it cleaning and checking for essentials. Smoothing Haley's best linen sheets over the mattress, fluffing up the pillows. She had always avoided going down there when he had actually been in residence.

She'd even weaned herself off going down there once he'd gone, wallowing in the sent of him clinging to the sheets, towels.

It had been years since she'd taken a pillowcase he had slept on to tuck beneath her own pillow.

As she hovered at the top of the stairs, the rich, deep sound of his laughter drifted upwards and, drawn by this unexpected, wonderful heart-lifting sound, she took one step, then another and then she was standing in the small lobby, looking through the open door into Lucas' bedroom.

Unaware of her presence, he was lying face down on the floor, his back to her, playing peekaboo with Gracie. Lifting the hem of the sweatshirt he'd thrown on, hiding his face and then popping out with a. 'Boo.' Gracie responded by throwing up her legs and wriggling with pleasure.

Lucas laughed. 'Again?'

Gracie waved her arms excitedly.

The two of them were locked in their own intimate little bubble, totally focused on each other, It was touching, beautiful, unutterably sad, and Brooke was torn in her emotions, wanting to laugh with Lucas and Gracie and weep for Nathan and Haley.

She did neither.

Instead, determined not to disturb father and daughter as they discovered each other, she clamped her lips together, took a step back, then turned and, as silently as possible, went back upstairs.

**AN; I want to thank everyone who reviewed. It means more then you know. I'm getting a lot of conflicting opinions, so I have decided to reminded you (in the sweetest way possible) that this is just a story, I teach pre-school, I'm not in anyway a professional and everything I write is fiction. **

**Please continue to read and review, next update will be tomorrow!**

**- XOXO B**

**P.S Thank you Senator Kennedy. You will be missed. **


	7. Chapter 7

**AN; I know I said I would have this up yesterday but for some reason the site wouldn't let me upload a document. So here it is. I know some of you think that the story is not moving on fast enough, but I think that it is very important to show the emotions they are feeling right now and have them deal with that. After all they just lost there best friends and on top of dealing with that, there was they own guilt about Gracie's conception and then the shock of finding out the others secret. **

**I really wanted to thank all of you who reviewed, it truly makes writing this worth it. I especially want to thank my new favorite person …… who sent me a very lovely message. This chapter is dedicated to you. **

**Chapter Seven**

Lucas couldn't have said whether it was a movement of air, some almost imperceptible sound or something else, but he looked over his shoulder, certain that he'd just missed something.

'I think we'd better go and see if your mommy is ready for us,' he said, scooping up the baby and heading for the stairs, dodging as she grabbed for his beard, catching her hands.

'No, you don't, miss.' She stuck out her bottom lip and he laughed. 'You're going to be a handful.'

His handful…

Then, catching a faint whiff of the faintest scent, he let go of her hands and didn't stop her when she grabbed hold of his ear, distracted by a familiar combination of soap, shampoo, something more that was uniquely Brooke, and he knew exactly what had disturbed him.

It was this scent that had always been the first thing to greet him when he'd opened the basement door and walked in, usually at some unearthly hour in the morning after a non-stop flight from somewhere in the world.

It was on the sheets when he'd stretched out to sleep, but had instead lain awake, imagining her leaning over to pull them tight, tuck them in, smooth the pillowcases into place. Leaning over him, her long hair trailing over his skin, the scent of her shampoo – everything about her so familiar and yet completely new.

It had been so real that he had almost fooled himself that this time it would be alright, almost believed that this time se would look at him and the intervening years would be wiped out.

Instead, when he saw her, he'd get a quick surprised smile as if his arrival was the last thing on her mind and he'd know that she hadn't given him a single thought since the last time he had been home. An impression confirmed when she'd appear at dinner with some decent, straightforward man in tow. A man who'd get the real smile. And he'd be certain that this time she'd found what she was looking for. Not him. Never him.

And he'd tell himself that he'd always known this was how it would be. Tell himself that it was right, that he was happy for her because he was the last man on earth she needed in her life.

Tell himself that he'd imagined the scent.

But he hadn't imagined the scent on his sheets and pillows.

She'd been there time after time in his basement room, preparing things for his arrival, just as she'd been there a minute ago, watching him with Grace.

As he walked into the kitchen she turned from the stove where, an apron wrapped around her, she was laying strips of bacon in a pan as casually as if it were the only thing on her mind.

'I thought you'd be hungry.' She said brightly enough and, if he hadn't know that a minute earlier she'd been down in the basement, he might have been fooled.

'Why didn't you say something?' he challenged. 'When you came downstairs.'

'Peekaboo?' she offered, not looking at him.

'That would have done.'

'You two were having such a good time I didn't want to butt in and spoil your game.'

'Three wouldn't have been a crowed.'

'Peekaboo is a game for two.' She half turned. 'What gave me away?'

'Your sent.'

She frowned. 'I'm not wearing any sent.'

Grace, tried from her games, was falling asleep against his shoulder and he gently lowered her into her crib, held his breath as her eyes flew open, felt something inside him melt as they slowly drifted shut. Awake playing, she'd been a bundle of energy, but lying asleep he could see just how fragile, how vulnerable she was. Being a parent wasn't just a full-time job, it was a twenty-four/seven responsibility. There was no time off. No putting the job first.

Haley hadn't worked since that day Brooke informed her she was indeed pregnant. Brooke was different. She had her own business, small, but it had taken years of hard work to build it up from the small website her friend Mouth had started for her and it was her life. Had been her life. Now there was Grace and she couldn't do it on her own. Maybe she wouldn't get that chance.

He'd tried to lay it out in words of one syllable, warn her of what might happen, but he knew he could never let anyone take Grace from her mother. Deb could be bought. His father wouldn't want his personal life all over the tabloids again. But that wasn't then end of it. Brooke was going to need help, support. And Grace was going to need a father. Not just a reluctant sperm donation, but someone like Nathan.

He felt his chest tighten in painfully.

Not him.

He wasn't like Nathan. He didn't take in strays. Wasn't a nest-builder. His apartment had been decorated by a professional, looked like a show house rather then a home. He still had worlds to conquer. She needed someone like Owen…

He looked up and realized that while he'd been thinking about her, she'd been watching him standing over the baby.

She wasn't exactly smiling, but there was a softness about her eyes, her mouth…

He straightened. 'No scent?' he said, stepping back from the abyss yawing at his feet.

'None,' she said, turning away to lift a basket of eggs from a hook.

'I beg to differ,' he said.

'Oh?' She looked over her shoulder at him. 'And just how are you going to prove it, Lucas Scott?'

He joined her at the stove. 'Like this,' he said, bending to her hair, the feathery wisps tickling as he breathed in the scent of her shampoo.

'All you'll smell if you stand there is bacon,' she said, twitching away.

'You're still using that herbal shampoo,' he said.

'Me and the rest of the world.'

'No…' This wasn't something mass-produced. It came from some little specialist shop; it was a national chain now, but it had started in Tree Hill and Haley had also been a fan. 'Rosary?'

She said something that sounded like, 'Humph.'

As she made a move to escape him, he put his hands on her shoulders and kept her where she was while he lowered his head to lay his cheek against the smooth, fair skin of her neck.

She twitched at the touch of his beard, trembled beneath his hands just as she had when she had been, seventeen years old. When they'd made love…

'Lemon and myrtle,' she said abruptly. 'From 'Rosewood' on Main Street.'

That was it.

The scent on his sheets. The thought acted like an aphrodisiac and he backed off before he embarrassed them both.

'I had the lemon,' he said. 'I'd never have got the myrtle. What is that?'

'A bush. Small white flowers, long stamens, lovely scent. There's one in the garden,' she said, picking up a spatula and holding it up like an offensive weapon. 'If you'd rather shower first, I can put this on hold.'

A cold shower might be a good idea. But he couldn't quite bring himself to leave her.

He'd dreamed about Brooke. Hot, sexy dreams that left him aching with need, but he'd never responded to her physical presence with such an instant hard-on before. Not since the night when, trembling in his arms, she'd kissed him and he'd lost his mind.

But then, since that last night, she'd held him off wit all the force of a quarterback scenting a touchdown.

'I'll eat first,' he said, pulling out a chair, sitting down, watching her as she fussed with the breakfast, avoiding eye contact, flustered in a way he'd never seen her before. But then she'd always had someone on hand to run interference for her when he'd been home. All those good, steady men. Never the same twice… 'So,' he said, 'what game can the two of us play with Gracie?'

The spatula slipped from her hand and clattered on the tiles.

'I thought I might walk down town,' she said, picking it up, rinsing it under that tap, drying it. 'Gracie and I could do with some fresh air. You could take my car if you like.' Then, when he didn't say anything – since not saying anything was prompting her mouth to run away with her – she pulled a face. 'Maybe not. It doesn't quite fit the tycoon image, dose it? Haley's car is in the garage.'

He saw her eyes dim as she thought about her friend. Tried to imagine what this lat week had been like for her.

'Eggs? She asked. 'One or two?'

'Just one, thanks. I'll walk in with you and Gracie, Brook. I seem to have spent the last three days sitting in a plane and I need to stretch my legs.'

Brooke, who he'd seen handle the tiniest sewing needles with the precision of a surgeon, missed the edge of the pan and, as the egg shattered against the hotplate, sizzling and burning, she leapt back with a tiny scream.

'Did you burn yourself?'

He was with her before she could answer, talking her hand, turning it over to see what damage she'd done. Leading her to the sink to run it under the cold tap.

She shook her head, not looking at him but back at the stove. 'It's nothing, just a splash. I need to clean up…'

'I'll do it,' he said, leaving her with the utmost reluctance, but knowing that, if he didn't, she'd do it herself. He removed the pan with the bacon from the hotplate and picking up the spatula that was having a very hard day, used it to scrap burnt egg from the stove top.

She turned off the tap.

'Brooke…'

'It's fine. Nothing. There's so much to do.' She pushed long slender fingers, which could conjure up an original piece of clothing out of nothing, through her short hair. 'I need to go and make up a bed for Deb. Did she say she'd coming this morning? Someone will have to be here to let her in. Maybe I'd better stay. She'll want to see Gracie, too. I asked one of my friends to take her on the day of the funeral. I thought she'd stay for a while…'

He saw her stop, think about that and then, as she remembered what he'd said about being at the back of the queue when it came to Grace's future, turn to him for reassurance. Thinking that if she couldn't spare the time to wait and see her baby granddaughter, there was no possibility that she'd be interested in custody.

He would not gave her that. Could not. Not until he knew weather Nathan and Haley had made new wills. If they had, then they would surely have named Brooke as her guardian. If not, it would be open season.

'I have no idea what Deb will do about Gracie, Brooke. But you can be certain that, whatever it is, it will be for her own benefit rather then as a result of grandmotherly instincts belatedly kicking in.' He wanted her to understand that she was going to have to fight to hold on to her baby.

She stared at him. 'You really do hate her, don't you?'

'No,' he said, grabbing the kitchen roll to wipe the surface of the stove. 'I don't hate her.'

For a long time he he'd thought he did, he'd blamed her for her part in his Uncles death but he'd learned, over the years, that it was Dan to blame. He'd come to understand that people were driven to the edge. And Deb had been pushed right over.

It didn't excuse her selfishness and he would never be able to forgive her but, he didn't hate her.

Realizing that Brooke was still watching him, trying to read his expression, he said 'Hate is so much easier. But the bad stuff is mixed up with all kids of good.'

'What good?' She asked

'She's my mothers best friend.' He replied. 'She was not always a bad mother, Dan seems to drive people to do horrible things.'

She offered him a smile, not the kind he loved, the kind that reached her eyes and hollowed out her dimples but, the kind that said, she didn't know what else to do.

'There's juice in the fridge, Lucas. Help yourself.'

Pouring juice into a couple of glasses she'd put on the table, bring one over to her, he looked over at Gracie sleeping in her crib, and said, 'It's going to be up to us, isn't it?'

'Us?.' She took a sip of the juice, put the glass down and reached for a plate.

'To make sure that Gracie only has good memories.'

'Oh, right. And how exactly do you intend to do that. Lucas? Are you planning to call in from whatever location you're in at the time? Tell her about your latest book? Or postcards? That would give her a head start on a stamp collection…'She stopped. Swallowed. She'd spoken without thinking. 'I'm sorry. I …'

'Maybe I should take her with me,' he cut in, stopping her apology in it's tracks. 'So that she can experience that world for herself. Australia is a great place for kids to grow up.'

Her grip tightened on the handle of the spatula but she refused to be rattled. 'The best place for a child is to be with people who love her enough to put her needs first,' she said keeping her back to him. 'Who'd look after her in Australia when your off on a book tour?'

'You?'

Now he had her attention and she swung round to face him. 'Excuse me, but are you offering me a job as my daughter's nanny?'

Maybe it was just as well that the doorbell saved him from answering because this conversation was going downhill fast.

'Your breakfast is burned,' she sad coldly, handing him that spatula and, leaving him to take it from the pan or not as he pleased, went to the door.

The slender women standing on the door step was swathed in bright silk, jewelry dripping from every possible location. As exotic as any bird of paradise.

'Taylor…?'

She didn't reply, just dropped the bag she was carrying, stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her, cloaking her in the faint aroma of some exotic spicy fragrance. For the first time in a very long time Brooke didn't resist or pull back as soon as she could. Taylor though not the exact replica of her sister, looked enough like Haley that Brooke felt immediately comforted.

It was finally, Taylor who drew back first, her gaze fixed on something behind her, and Brooke didn't need to turn around to know that Lucas had followed her into the hall.

'Hey, Taylor.'

'Lucas…' she said, acknowledging him, but her eyes were on the baby he was holding with a possessiveness that made Brooke's blood run cold. 'Hello my sweetheart,' she said, holding out her arms. 'Come to aunty Tay.'

For a moment Brooke thought that Lucas wasn't going to surrender her, but Gracie, attracted to the bright colors, was smiling at this interesting new arrival and, after what felt like the longest hesitation in history, he gave her up.

'I'm going to take a shower, Brooke,' he said. 'Can you be ready to leave by nine?' Then, you do still want to come to town? Taylor can let Deb in if she arrives while we're out.'

She had never wanted to go into town, but she couldn't put it off any longer. And they had unfinished business to discuss that she didn't want anyone else overhearing.

'Will you be all right, Taylor? I had a commission for bridesmaid dresses that has to be delivered by the end of the week.' Then straightening for a fight she hadn't anticipated but would not duck away from, 'And your right about the store, Lucas. It's my livelihood and I need to make arrangements to keep it afloat while I think about how I can fit it around Gracie's needs.'

That brought something that could have almost been interpreted as a smile to his lips as he recognized the challenge. 'You're not interested in my offer?'

'Gracie and I are happy here.' And, before he could say any more, 'We'll be ready to leave at half past eight.'

Neither Taylor nor Brooke spoke until they heard the basement door shut, at which point they let go of the breath they'd been collectively holding.

'That man is so instance,' Taylor said. 'Not a but like his brother.'

'No. But they were very close.'

'Were they?' She turned to the infant in her arms and they inspected one another, Taylor with a searching look, Gracie with her little forehead wrinkled in a frown. 'What offer did Lucas make you, Brooke?'

'He didn't make an offer.' Well really he hadn't. She'd cut him off before he'd said the words. 'It was just a joke.'

'Really? He didn't look like he was joking. Only I did wonder, if he's been appointed guardian, whether he'll want to move Grace out to California with him,'

'He can't do that.'

'Oh?' She said. 'Are you sure about that? She's a beautiful child and he seems…attached.'

'He wouldn't. He's never in one place for more than a week and children need stability. Order. He knows that.' They both knew that.

'They are important,' Taylor agreed, 'but knowing that they're loved is what really counts.' Then looking at her niece, 'Haley must have been so happy. I'm glad she had these few weeks when her world was complete.'

'Yeah…' Brooke tried to say more, but there was just a great big lump in her throat.

'And you, Brooke? What will make your world complete?'

Brooke shook her head. Some things were never meant to be complete. 'Come on into the kitchen. I'll fix you something to eat.' She said, anxious to change the subject.

'I'm not hungry, just tired.' Then , 'I'm sorry I didn't get here in time to share the burden, help with the arrangements.'

Brooke shook her head. They'd left instructions. You know Haley always organized. It was very peaceful. I'll take you to the site when you've recovered. Lucas hasn't seen it yet, either. He only arrived yesterday.'

Taylor nodded. 'I need to make a call, let someone know I've arrived. Then perhaps a bath and a nap?'

'Why don't you take my room? I'm staying in Haley and Nathan's room, to be closer to Gracie,' she said picking up Haley's bag and heading up the stairs. 'It's very quite down this end of the house, private,' she added, wondering quite how Deb would react when they met.

'Nice idea, but I'm not sure that I can cope with all those stairs.' She pulled a face. 'Years of damp and cold, living in surfing vans, hasn't done my bones any good.'

Concerned, Brooke stopped. 'Are you okay?' Though older then her Taylor wasn't exactly over the hill and she still looked just as fit as she had when she had been captain of the cheer squad – before Brooke took over.

'Fine. Really, I guess my reckless ways had to catch up with me eventually. I'd really like to male that call, though. I need to tell a friend that I arrived safely.'

That was such an unexpected thing for the free-as-a-bird James sister to say that Brooke said, 'A friend?' Then, 'You've met someone?'

'You think I'm too old?'

'No, Tay. It's just not like you to settle down.' Then, 'Help yourself to the phone in the study. I'll make up the sofa bed in the den for you. Then I'm going to get Gracie ready.'

'You're taking her with you?' she sounded disappointed. 'I would take care of her.'

'You need to rest and, to be honest, we could both do with some fresh air. I thought we'd come home past the river court so that she can feed the ducks. You know how Haley loved to do that.'

'Haley…' There were tears in Taylor's eyes as she handed over the baby and picked up her bag. 'Go make yourself pretty. I've got a call to make.

**AN: Thank you again for reading and reviewing. In the next chapter, they will finally leave the house I promises and you will find out what is going on between Brooke and Owen….. So until next time. **

**- B**


	8. Chapter 8

**I would once again like to thank all the amazing people who read this. I would especially like to thank 'psiek' who always leaves the most darling reviews that make me what to update as fast as possible. Thank you love!**

**I was a little disappointed that the number of reviews for the last chapter dropped off quite a bit, which was funny because it was the first chapter where my toughest critic had nothing bad to say. **

**Come on people don't make me hold chapters for ransom again. Lol **

**Enjoy…**

**Chapter Eight**

Dressing Grace, putting together everything she'd need for the morning, took nearly all the time Brooke had so that 'prettying herself up' consisted of little more then pulling a brush through her hair.

Then she fastened pearl studs to he ears and a matching necklace of overlapping pink and white pearl links around her throat. Since Grace she'd had to give up the more elaborate and dangly jewelry she would have usually worn, at first she felt nearly naked without them but she was very attached to her ears and would like to keep her lobes where they where.

She settled the necklace into place, trying not to think about Lucas, his hands on her shoulders as he'd leaned into her neck to hunt down that elusive scent. The feel of his beard brushing against her skin, sending goose bumps shivering through her.

The last time they had been that close, that intimate, they'd been naked. This morning, when she'd felt the warmth of his breath against her ear, been swamped by the scent of a man still warm from his bed, she'd wanted to be naked again.

She slipped on a tailored jacket, smoothed her script and, without bothering to cheek her reflection, fetched Grace from the nursery and went downstairs.

Lucas looked up, said nothing, as she hurried into the kitchen tem minutes later then she'd promised. He just looked at her and she was convinced he could see every hot, wicked thought that had been running through her mind, distracting her, slowing her down.

'Ready?' she asked.

Stupid question. He was showered, wearing faded jeans and a soft jacket that emphasized the width of his shoulders and bought out the sparkle in his deep blue eyes. He had obviously been there for some time since all trace of the breakfast disaster had been removed and he was sitting at the table, looking through the local paper.

He closed it, got up and said, 'Can I do anything?'

'G-get the stroller? It's in the laundry room.' She said, opening the fridge, fitting a bottle into it's own special little cold compartment in the baby bag, exactly as she had seen Haley do dozens of times. Keeping her hands behind her back to hide fingers itching to help.

What she wouldn't have giving for that yearning now. To see Nathan instead of Lucas setting up the stroller, take Grace and fasten her into the little pink nest. Put the bag in the rack beneath it.

'Not bad,' she said. 'For a first effort.'

He didn't answer but took the handle of the stroller, wheeled it into the hall.

The steps weren't exactly easy to navigate, as she knew form experience, and, having opened the door, she made a move to help. Unnecessary. Lucas just lifted the stroller, with Grace and all her belongings in it, and carried them down the steps as if it weighted no more then a basketball.

A nice trick if you could manage it, she thought and, since possession was nine-tenths of the law, by the time she'd shut the door and reached the footpath he was already walking away from her, forcing her to trot to catch up.

'Slow down,' she said crossly. 'This isn't a race.'

Without tacking his hand off the stroller, he lifted his elbow and, glancing down at her said, 'Hang on. You can slow me down if I'm speeding.'

He wanted her to put her arm through his? Walk along arm in arm as if they were Nathan and Haley…?

As if they were a couple….

She swallowed, imagining her hand against the soft suede, her fingers resting against his forearm. She wanted that closeness in a way that was beyond imagining. Wanted it too much to be able to risk it.

'You're all right,' she said.

He didn't argue, simply stopped, took her hand and placed it under is arm. 'Whatever happens, you're not on your own , Brooke,' he said, then, with out giving her time to resist, to object, he continued to walk, rather more slowly, on his way.

The suede was soft to the touch as a baby's breath, while beneath it the familiar muscular arm seemed to burn through to her fingers, setting light to the memory of him standing in the kitchen, naked to the waist, in the early light.

As he paused, turned to cross the street, and his sleeve brushed against her cheek it was like the sun coming out. She wanted to lean into it, suck up the protective warmth.

An illusion. This was not the world. In a week, two at the most, he'd be gone, chasing some endless horizon. That was fact. He'd be somewhere out of reach and she'd be alone.

And, with that thought, the true finality of what had happened crystallized in her mind. Until now she'd been skimming along, keeping the wheels ticking over, taking care of Grace. Coping with the details. Standing numbly in the church through hymns and eulogies. Even watching her best friends lowered into the dark earth, it hadn't seemed real.

Each morning, her first reaction was that momentary panic at waking in an unfamiliar room, then remembering that she was in Haley's room next to the nursery because Haley was away for the weekend.

Only after that came the sinking feeling when she remembered that Haley was never coming home again. But then Grace claimed her attention and there was no time for anything but the essentials. Laundry, feeding, bathing her, changing her. She was a full time job all by herself.

Now walking with Lucas in Nathan and Haley's place, an icy hand gripped at her stomach, her heart. This wasn't just for a few days. This was her life. There was only her to be responsible, make decisions, make sure that this precious baby…little girl…teenager…had the best life that she could give her.

'Brooke?'

Lucas stopped as she pulled away, grasping for breath, and ignoring her as she took her hand off his arm, as she tried to keep him away, he let go of the stroller and, catching her by the shoulders, pulled her against him.

'There're gone, Luke,' she said, looking up, wanting him to see, to understand. 'There're never coming back.'

His only response was to wrap hiss arms tightly around her press his cheek, his lips against he hair as if he could somehow keep out the world.

'Hush….It's all right.'

All right… A right!

'How can anything be all right ever again?' She pulled back, flipping up her arms to push him away. 'It needs more than a hug and words to fix this, Lucas. It isn't just us, there's a baby involved, one that you and I made, and we're responsible.' She knew she was making a scene, that people walking by were turning to look, but she didn't care. She had to make him see. 'It's not just for a week, or next week, but for ever. We're not just spectators in Gracie's life, we're her…'

Lucas grabbed her by the arm and pulled her, pushed Grace off the street and into a quiet park.

'…parents.'

Except it wasn't 'we'. It was her.

Or was it? Lucas had said he had gone through Nathan and Haley's papers last night. What had he found? What had made him warn her that she was bottom of the heap?

'Do you know what guardianship arrangements Haley made for Gracie?' Because someone who'd take the time to plan there own funeral to make things easy for whoever was left to pick up the pieces in the event of her death wouldn't leave something really important like that to chance. 'Stupid question. Of course you know. You're their executor. Even when you weren't talking to him, Nathan still told you everything.'

'I can't tell you anything until I've spoken to the lawyers.'

He let go of her arm, leaving a cod empty space, but that was what he always did. Went away, left her. Collage, Peyton, book tours, for ever. He leaned forward over the stroller, tenderly tucking that blanket around Grace where she'd kicked it loose in her sleep, then began to move on through the park.

'Can't? Or won't? she demanded, planting her feet, refusing to take another step until he gave her an answer. 'What the hell are you keeping from me?'

He stopped. 'It won't help.'

'I think I'm the best judge of what helps me, Lucas.'

He glanced at her. 'You're wrong about Nathan telling me everything. He didn't share whatever decision he'd made with me, which suggests there were unresolved issues.'

'I think we can both guess what they were.'

He shrugged. 'Maybe. There was some correspondence with his lawyer regarding the surrogacy and it's clear that Nathan and Haley inteneded to draw up new wills once Gracie was legally theirs, but as far as I can tell nothing had been signed.'

'So that means…?' She lifted her shoulders.

'I won't know for sure until I've spoken to the lawyer. Even a draft setting out their wishes would be something.' He stretched out a hand. 'Come on. The sooner I get there, the sooner we'll both know where we stand.'

He didn't move to take her hand as he had before. This time he waited for her to choose, to meet him halfway. And ignoring his hand, she tucked her own back under his arm in a gesture of trust.

'Maybe I should come with you.'

'You can trust me, Brooke. I'll look after your interests. You'll be better occupied at the store.'

'But…'

'As soon as I'm done, I'll join you. Once we know what we're faced with, we can talk it through. Make decisions.'

It made sense, she supposed. Then, as a another thought struck her, 'Will you tell him? About Gracie? About…..'She swallowed, There was something so intimate about that fact that they had created a baby together – even though they had been at opposite ends of the earth when it happened – that she couldn't bring herself to say the words. Couldn't bring herself to say 'us'.

'About our involvement in Gracie's conception?' he filled in for her.

Involvement.

Good word. If you wanted to eradicate any suggestion of intimacy. And why not? There had only been one night of passion since high school, and while for her it had been the only night since, she had no illusions that he'd spent the last ten years dreaming of her. That dream had been shattered the day he'd turned up with Peyton and announced they were getting married.

'That would be the involvement you just announced to a street full of people?'

Her hand flew to her mouth. 'I didn't!'

'I'm paraphrasing, but….there's a baby that you and I made…just about covers it.'

She groaned.

'Relax. Most people just wanted to get away from the crazy women as fast as they could.'

'You're just saying that to make me feel better.'

'No. I swear. At least three people crossed the street.'

'Only three?' She shook her head, but she was smiling.

'That's better. And, to answer your question, I don't think there's anything to be gained by telling him about us and robbing Haley and Nathan of something they longed for with such passion. It's nobody's business but ours, Brooke.'

Ours. Us.

Lucas savored the words, drinking them in like a man who'd been wandering the desert. He'd locked himself out of Brook's life a long time ago. He hadn't fully understood why she'd been trapped like a baby bird, to scared to fly the nest she had built up around herself. He'd accepted that it was somehow mixed up with her childhood, but he'd never pushed her to explain. Maybe he hadn't wanted to, preferring to tell himself that it was for the best, that he'd have hurt her again, instead of being honest with himself. Facing his own demons.

But those two tiny words –our, us-like the infant who'd dropped off to sleep in the stroller, joined them in a unique alliance that set them apart from the rest of the world. They were a family.

He was a father and it was a responsibility he couldn't run away from.

They reached the corner where their ways divided but, instead of parting, they stood, her hand linking them together, and for a moment it seemed that she was as reluctant as him to break the connection.

He was on the point of suggestion the perhaps, after all, she should go with him to talk to the lawyer, when she finally took her arm from his and said, 'I'd better let you go.'

He caught her hand. 'We're in this together, Brooke.'

'Are we?'

'Ill do whatever it takes to protect Haley and Nathan. I owe them that.'

'And Gracie?'

'I'll protect her with my life.'

As he would Brooke. He couldn't begin to guess how hard this was going to be for her. Desperate with worry about the future of a child who she had never, whether she'd admit it or not, truly given up, when she should be left in peace to grieve her family.

'This is all my fault,' she said. 'If I hadn't…'

'Don't!' He'd done everything he could to prevent her from having this baby, prevent himself from becoming a father, but he couldn't bear to hear her put what he'd wished into words. Not now he'd held his daughter, seen her smile. 'Please, don't do that to yourself.'

Or to him.

She lifted her stricken face. 'But it's true. I wanted them to go away for the weekend, planned it, gave it to them as my treat because I wanted to have Gracie to myself. Just for the weekend…'

Oh, dear God. It wasn't colluding with Haley that was tormenting her. She was blaming herself for the accident.

'NO,' he said. And, when she would have argued, he said it again. 'No. It's always like this when someone dies,' he said. 'The guilt kicks in. You can only think of the things you did wrong. Or didn't do at all,' he added, thinking of his own miserable, selfish response to something that had made his brother so happy. 'They can overwhelm you, take on an importance completely out of proportion to their true meaning.'

She shook her head.

'You have to remember the good things. Remember how happy you made them both.' He squeezed her arm reassuringly then touched the sleeping baby's head. 'I'll see you both later,' he said, taking a step back, saving the picture of his to pretty girls in his mind before tearing himself away.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Brooke unlocked the door to her store, kicking aside mail so that she could get the stroller in, turning on the lights.

She didn't waste time going through the mail, but put it to one side to take home with her. Instead she made the most of the fact that Grace was asleep to download and pack up the internet orders that kept the cash flow ticking over.

After that she called Rachael, and asked if she would mind opening the store for a few hours a day for the next couple of weeks and, while Brooke was waiting for her to arrive so that she could walk her through what she usually did while Rachael was gossiping on the phone, or taking an extra long lunch, she gathered everything she need to finish the beading on the bridesmaids dresses.

When, finally, they were finished, she sat back and looked over her work, glad she'd come in. Glad she'd done something positive. Something life-affirming

Grace, who'd been an angel and had slept while she'd worked woke and began to make her presence felt.

'Well, haven't you been a good baby,' she said, as she lifted her bag from the tray and plugging in the bottle warmer before changing her.

She was just about to settle on the sofa when there was a knock on the door.

Lucas would have just walked in despite the 'closed' sign on the door and, expecting it to be Rachael, she called out , 'It's open.' Then, as she realized it was neither, she said, 'Oh, Owen…'

Her disappointment must have been evident because he didn't come beyond the doorway. 'I know you're not open but I saw your light on and thought I'd come over and see if there was anything you needed. If it's a bad time…'

Owen worked at the club Lucas' mother and Peyton owned. He was easy to get along with and she'd taken him home as her 'date' the last time Lucas had come home. Still trying to prove to him, or maybe just to herself, that he didn't mean anything to her. No, defiantly to herself. He hadn't given her a thought a minute after she'd left him.

Owen, unlike her other 'dates', had quickly cottoned on to the reason for his presence and had played his part to the hilt, Nathan teased her about him for weeks afterwards, referring to him as her 'lovelorn swain' until Haley had finally told him to stop embarrassing her.

Had Haley seen, understood more then she had ever let on? She had never said anything, but she'd never pressed her and despite the fact that Brooke had always said she was too busy to get involved, she had always managed to have a date when Lucas had come home.

It must have been blindingly obvious, now she came to think about it. Bless Haley…

Owen had laughed when she had told him and it had somehow cemented a genuine friendship. 'No,' she said, 'It's never a bad time to see a friend. I don't think I ever thanked you for the flowers and card.'

'Don't even think about it,' Owen said, closing the door, coming across and giving her a hug. Leaving his hand on her arm. It was no more then a gesture of comfort from a friend, but it was where Lucas' hand had so recently lain. It felt so much like an intrusion that it took all her concentration not to pull away. 'Anything I can do, you know you only have to ask.'

'Actually, I'm just about to feed, Gracie. If you really want to make yourself useful, you could make some coffee.'

Grace, growing impatient, began to whimper.

'Poor little angel,' Owen said, touching a finger lightly to her cheek before taking himself off to fill the coffee maker. 'But at least she still has her real mommy to take care of her.'

Brooke sighed. There really was no point in explaining the finer points of surrogacy. She supposed most people would think that. She'd thought it herself until Lucas had put her straight. She glanced at her watch. It had been more then an hour since they'd gone their separate ways.

What on earth was taking him so long?

Nothing good, she was sure. But there was nothing she could do about it now and she crossed to the sofa, settled herself in the corner against the arm and offered Grace the bottle. She sucked for a moment, then pulled away.

'What's up, Bunny? I thought you were hungry.' She offered her the bottle again and this time she seemed to settle.

'Do theses need to be posted?' Owen asked, distracting her.

'Sorry?'

'These packages,' he said, nodding towards the pile of boxes on the desk as he spooned coffee into the filter. 'I'm going that way at lunch time. I'll drop them in at the post office if you like.'

'Oh, right. Yes. That would be a huge help,' she said, seizing on his offer. 'If you're sure.'

'I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it.'

'You're a doll. Pass me my pocket book and I'll give you some money.' Then, 'They all need to be sent "signed for",' she apologized as she handed over the notes.

'No problem,' he said, tucking the money into his back pocket before sitting beside her. 'It'll mean all the more time to chat up the girl behind the counter.'

'Sarah?' She smiled. 'Nice choice. She's absolutely lovely. So how long has that been going on?'

He shrugged. 'I've been taking my letters to her about twice a week since she started there.'

'And that would be what – five, six months?'

'I thought I'd take it slowly.'

'Er… No. That's not slow, Owen. That's pathetic. Why don't you just ask her out?'

'Because if she said no, sheer embarrassment would mean I'd have to go all the way into the next town whenever I wanted a stamp.'

Brooke chuckled like a chicken and he laughed. 'I know, it's pathetic. But the next town is 10 miles away.' Then, as Grace spat out the bottle again and began to grizzle, he said, 'What's the matter with her?'

;It's my fault. I usually wear something of Haley's when I feed her,' Brooke replied. 'For the scent,' she explained. 'But I didn't think to bring anything with me.' She slipped a couple buttons on her shirt. 'Maybe this will help. Haley used to hold her next to her skin.'

'As if she were breastfeeding?'

'What do you know about it? She asked, laughing.

'I've got sisters,' he said. 'And sisters-in-law. Half a dozen of them. I've lost count of the number of nieces and nephews I have.

'Right. Well, if I need advice I'll know where to come,' she said, pushing aside her shirt a little and holding the baby closer so that her cheek was against her skin. Drawn by the warmth, Grace immediately turned towards her and, after a moment or two , took the rubber teat of the feeder.

'That's so beautiful,' he said.

'Oh, Owen…'

And when, without warning, her eyes stung with tears that she could do nothing about, he put his arm around her, pulling her against his shoulder so that her tears soaked into his sleeve.

'I'm sorry,' she said. 'This is stupid.' She didn't even know what she was crying about. Haley and Nathan. Grace. Lucas…. Maybe all of them.

'It's okay.' He said. 'Go ahead. Let it out. It'll do you good.' He still had his arm around her when the door opened and Lucas walked in, coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of the three of them.

For a moment no one said anything, then Owen murmured, just loud enough for him to hear. 'I'm sorry , Brooke, I thought I locked the door.'

The shock on Lucas' face at finding her with Owens's arm around her was very nearly as ridiculous as her own sense of guilt.

She had nothing to feel guilty about.

Owen was a friend – he'd been there when Lucas had been communing with his guilt up a mountain.

But Lucas was clearly reading something a lot more significant into the situation. And why wouldn't he, when she'd gone to such lengths to convince him that she was involved with the man?

But enough was enough and she pulled free of his arm, rubbing her palm across her wet cheek. 'Haven't you got an urgent date at the post office, Owen?' she reminded him before he completely forgot himself.

'You're going to throw me out before I have a cup that coffee I've made you?' he said, apparently determined to give Lucas a reprise of his 'lovelorn swine' act.

'Rachael will be here when you get back with the receipts,' she said cutting him off before he could get going. 'Buy her a cake and I'm sure she'll get the hint. My treat.' Then, 'Buy two,' she said meaningfully.

'Two?'

'A red velvet cupcake is supposed to be irresistible,' she said.

'Got it,' he murmured, finally getting to his fee. Then as he made a move, she put her hand on his arm, detaining him. 'Thanks for the shoulder.'

'Any time,' he said , covering her hand with his own, kissing her cheek, going for an Oscar. 'Anything.' The, touching his finger to Grace's cheek. 'Bye, baby. Be good for Brooke.'

The, gathering the packages from her desk, he headed for the door, where Lucas was blocking the way.

'Owen,' Lucas said, his acknowledgment curt to the point of rudeness.

'Scott,' he responded mildly. 'I was sorry to hear about your brother. I liked him a lot.' The mildness was deceptive. If he'd actually said, 'Unlike you…' he couldn't have made himself plainer. 'We missed you at the funeral.'

Lucas said nothing, merely stepped aside to let him out, then closed the door after him and slipped the lock.

**Thank you again and please review.**

**Xo B**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N; I'm not to happy about this chapter I would have like to move on a little but, I felt it was important for the sake of realism to see Lucas deal with his emotions. **

**I just want to again thank the amazing people who reviewed- both the sweet and constructive criticism - , I hope to find time in the next update to thank you all personally. **

**On with the chapter…..**

**Chapter Nine**

'I'm expecting someone,' Brooke protested.

'Whoever it is will knock,' Lucas replied, crossing to the coffee pot. He turned over a couple of mugs, opening the little fridge. 'There's no milk. Should I call back your minion and ask him to bring you a carton.

Minion.

It was marginally better then 'lovelorn swain', she supposed. But only marginally.

'Don't bother for me,' she said, and her poured two cups of black coffee and placed them on the low table set in front of the sofa.

'You were longer then I expected,' she said, glancing up at him as Grace spit out the teat, with finality that suggested that any further attempt to persuade her to take any more would be a waste of time. 'What took you so long?'

'There was a lot to go through, but clearly I needn't have worried that you'd be lonely.'

Feeling trapped on the sofa, Brooke got up, lifted that baby to her shoulder and, gently rubbing her back, began to pace.

'I didn't realize you and Owen were still a hot item.'

Hot? Hardly…

'When Owen saw the light, he came over to see if there was anything he could do, Lucas. It's what friends do.'

'Yes, I got the "any time, anything" message. Including the shoulder to cry on,' he said, as she turned and came face to face with him. 'You have to understand my surprise. I had to assume that you were, momentarily, unattached.'

He invested 'momentarily' with more then it's usually weight, bringing a flush to her wet cheeks, drawing quite unnecessary attention to them.

Lucas produced a clean handkerchief and, taking her chin in his hand, he gently blotted first her eyes, then her cheeks, before unbuttoning on of the pockets on her thin silk shirt and tucking it against her breast.

She opened her mouth but no words came and she closed it again. Then jumped as he carefully refastened the buttons she had slipped open for Grace, her entire body trembling as the warmth of his fingers shot like an electric charge to her heart.

'Don't…' was all she could manage. 'Please.'

It was too painful. Too sweet…

He let his hands drop, stepping away from her, and it took all she had not to scream out a desperate, No…., because that felt wrong, too.

'In view of the fact that you were carrying a baby for Haley,' he continued calmly, as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn't just touched her, switching her on as easily as if he'd switched a light on, undoing, in a moment, ten years of keeping all her feelings battened down.

She stared at him, uncomprehending, having entirely lost the thread of what he was saying.

'I don't imagine there are many men who could handle that. Not even Owen.'

Owen. The surrogacy….Got it.

'Actually, you might be surprised. There are surrogates who, having completed their own families, want to help childless couples archive their own dreams. They're fully supported by their partners.'

She'd done her homework, knew the answers without having to think,

'And is that the what your friend did? Support you?'

Friend was loaded, too.

Okay. Hands up. She was the one who'd gone out of her way to give Lucas the impression, over the years, that she had a continuous string of boyfriends. Not that he'd taken much interest on his flying visits.

It was as if, after their last night together, he'd totally wiped her from his mind. As if the minute their relationship had changed from one of intimacy to friendship she'd become just another girl.

Just like the girls she'd once almost pitted because she'd always known that men don't stick around, no matter how much they say they love you.

Which made it doubly surprising that he had remembered Owen's name. They'd only met once as far as she was aware.

'Well,' she said, 'on the plus side, he didn't arrive in the middle of the night like some avenging angel, demanding that I stop being such a fool. Dose that answer your question?' Then, tired of playing games, 'I have no idea how Owen felt about Gracie, Lucas. I didn't discuss what I was doing with him. It was none of his business.'

'That's pretty much what you said to me a year ago.'

'I didn't know…'Her mouth was dried and, suddenly afraid, she held Grace a little more tightly because it had everything to do with him. Maybe, then, if she hadn't responded with outraged anger, but had taken time to sit down, listen, he might, despite his sworn promises to Nathan, have told her the truth. 'You should have told me.'

'What would that have achieved? You were already pregnant.' Then 'You're quite sure Gracie is mine?'

'What?' That was so far from what she'd been thinking that Brooke took an involuntary step back, stumbling against one of the chairs.

As Grace let out a startled cry, Lucas reached out for her and steadied her, then laid his palm against Grace's head, calming her, giving Brooke a chance to catch her breath.

'Is she?' he repeated, so intently that she knew without doubt that he wanted it to be so. That, despite his opposition, despite everything, he desperately wanted this little girl to be his child.

For a moment it felt as if the world has truly been made over. But joy swiftly faded into something closer to fear.

Taylor had said it. "He seems attached."

For ten years she'd been living in a fantasy world in which Lucas Scott was her hero, the broody boy she'd fallen in love with. But what did she know about was the man he'd become? At home he was just Lucas, but in the real world he was a power to be reckoned with. A man who'd made his fortune. Who'd broken her heart when he'd brought home a blushing bride, then on his next visit announced, without apparent emotion that the marriage had been a mistake. A man who other men treated with respect and, maybe fear. A man who saw only the prize…

She'd wanted him to bond with Grace and, against all the odds, it seemed that he had. Now, too late, she realized that it was not his stepmother, or Haley's family, who she'd have to fight to keep her baby. It was him.

'I've only your word for that, Lucas,' she said, crossing to the stroller and tucking Grace in, fastening her safely, freeing herself for the fight before turning to face him. 'It never occurred to me to doubt you, but maybe we'd both be easier in our minds if we had a DNA test.'

'What? No…'

Not the answer he'd expected, she noted with a glimmer of satisfaction as he took a step towards her.

Her feet wanted to take another step back, keep a safe distance between them, but her head demanded she hold her ground. One step could be put down to shock. Two looked like a retreat and this was a moment for standing her ground.

'Just in case Nathan came to his senses,' she continued, as if he hadn't spoken. 'That would let you off the hook, wouldn't it?'

She knew that wasn't what he'd meant, but the alternative was too shocking to deserve acknowledgement.

'You made it very clear that you were simply going through the motions to keep him happy,' she said. 'That an actual baby was the last thing you'd anticipated or wanted, and I can understand why you wanted to put a stop to it…'

She faltered, stopped, hearing what she was saying and realizing that it wasn't true. She didn't understand. Worse, she was still pretending, still hiding, protecting herself from hurt. But this was more important then her feelings. More important then his.

Overwhelmed by a heart-pounding rush of anger at his selfishness, she said, 'Actually, no, I can't imagine why you'd be that cruel, but then I do have a heart.'

The raw slash of color that darkened Lucas' cheekbones was a warning that she'd gone to far, but she discovered that she didn't give a damn. He'd just insulted her beyond reason and she wasn't going to stand there and take it.

'Unless,' she continued with a reckless disregard for the consequences, 'you really think that I'd cheat my best friend, foist a child conceived out of careless passion rather then a clinical donation on a couple so desperate that they would have done anything, even lied to the person they loved most in the world…'

If she'd hit him the effect couldn't have been more dramatic.

'No!' he said, and it was too late to step back as he surged forward, seized her, his fingers biting into her arms. 'No!'

'No what?' she demanded, meeting his furry head-on and refusing to be intimidated, refusing to back down. She owed it to Grace, owed it to herself, to stand up to him. 'No what?' she repeated, when he just stood there, staring at her as if he'd never seen her before. Well, he hadn't seen her like this in a long time. Empowered by motherhood she was ready to take on the world again.

He took a shuddering breath that seemed to come from deep within his soul and then, never taking his eyes off her, said 'No. I don't need a DNA test. No. I don't want to be let off the hook. No. I don't believe you'd lie to me…' He broke away, as if he couldn't bear to look at her. 'I'm sorry, but when I saw you with Owen, his arms around you, you looked like a family and it just all seemed to make perfect sense…'

He looked so utterly hopeless and where a moment before she had been angry, now she didn't know what to think. She only knew what she felt. Grief. Confusion. Fear at the enormous responsibility for a precious life.

And maybe part of her anger was because she suspected he'd been right when he'd accused her of being too scared to risk a relationship, move on, make a life away from the safety of the family of her own making.

Had pinning after him been the safe option?

'Lucas?'

The muscles in his jaw were working as he clamped down to hold back tears and in a heartbeat the tables were turned. She could weep, but he was a man. Faced with loss, all he could do was get angry, lash out.

He was grieving, too, and just as he'd reached out to her that moment when she'd woken in the kitchen, now she reached out to him.

'I know,' she said, lifting her hand to his face, feeling the silkiness of the close-cut beard against her palm, the bone that molded the face she knew as well as her own. Every mark, every tiny dint that life had put into it. The creases that bracketed his mouth when he smiled. The white fan of lines around his eyes where the sun never reached. The thin scar on his forehead where he'd hit it in a car accident with Keith. 'It's okay to cry.'

And, laying her cheek against his heart, she wrapped her arms around his chest and held him close. 'You're frightened and that's okay. I understand. I'm frightened too.'

Lucas, crushing her to him, didn't think there was a snowball's chance in hell that she understood one damn thing about what he was feeling. She had never understood and why would she when he'd never told her?

She would never know how he'd felt when he'd come home after his first book tour, expecting to find her waiting for him, green eyes sparkling, the way she'd always been there. Knowing that he'd let her down. He'd spent the first week away expecting a call from Nathan, hulling him back to face up to what he'd done. To make him pay for hurting her, leaving her again. When that didn't happen he'd know that Brooke had not said anything, was playing tough for her friends, and that made him feel even worse.

He'd tried to write, but had been unable to write the words he knew she'd want. But he couldn't stay away for ever he'd known that she'd be waiting for him, eyes shinning with that look he hadn't been able to get out of his head. The look in her eyes when he'd kissed her, undressed her, taken her. It was a 'forever' look. A look that would hook a man, haul him in, nail him down, because a decent man couldn't walk away from a look like that. Not from a girl like Brooke.

But she hadn't been home when he had pitched up after twenty-four hours traveling with his mothers ring weighing down his pocket. And she had eventually turned up, only just in time for dinner, she was not alone, but had brought a boyfriend home with her and those sparkling green eyes had been only for him.

And that had been worse. He'd wanted to grab the guy, beat him to a pulp, then drag Brooke down to his room and make love to her until that look was back in her eyes, but only for him.

And better. Because that selfish gene he'd inherited from his father had been consumed with relief.

Relief had won. He could relax, knowing that what had happened between them had meant nothing more to her then a way to help him move on from his marriage.

That she hadn't been sitting around waiting for him to come back and claim her, but had moved on. Had found someone new, someone closer to home, to share her days and nights with.

That night he'd tossed the ring into the trash can in the tiny basement bathroom, cut short his visit, flown back to his knew life.

After she had left him in high school he'd thought he'd found what he was looking for in the blue-eyed, blond, Peyton who always seemed to be standing in front of him when Brooke was pushing him away. Peyton who'd realized her mistake and left him just as quickly as they had gotten together. Peyton who was now happily married to someone who appreciated her, the man he knew she had really always belonged with, while Brooke…

She didn't understand but, wrapped like this in her arms, drowning in the warm scent of her, a wisp of hair tickling his chin, he wasn't about to argue with her.

'You're tired. Grieving. In shock,' she said.

No. She had no clue…

'And,' she said lifting his head to look up at him, her clear green eyes demanding nothing less then the truth, 'I suspect you've got bad news for me.'

'Not bad.' He hadn't thought so, but maybe she'd see it differently. He continued to hold her, meeting her unwavering gaze.

'But not good.'

'Mixed,' he said. 'It was pretty much as I thought. Haley and Nathan instructed the lawyer to draw up new wills for them both. There were some bequests, but the bulk was left to Gracie.'

'That's what I expected,' she said impatiently. 'Tell me the rest.'

'The lawyer had advised naming a guardian for Gracie and Nathan named me without consulting Haley.'

'Because you were her biological father.'

'He didn't tell me about it, Brooke, I swear it. I imagine he thought I'd never know, but it must have seemed to him to be the right thing to do. And maybe he hoped that Haley would accept that, as his executor, it made sense.'

'But she didn't.'

'How could she?' He wanted her to know that he understood. 'She apparently blew up in the office, reminding Nathan, with every justification, that I had been anything but supportive. That you had given birth to Gracie.'

'And?' Then, when he couldn't bring himself to say the words, 'Tell me, Lucas!'

'Joint custody was suggested as a compromise, but she just said that with us living on oppiste sides of the country- sometimes opposite side of the world that was ridiculous. She didn't stay to argue, but left, leaving Nathan to wrap up the meeting.'

'So nothing's been settled? It's all still up in the air? Open season on our daughter?'

'No…' Then, again, 'No, Nathan signed his own will, just a temporary measure until they'd talked it through, before he followed her.'

It took a moment for exactly what that meant to sink in and then she said, 'Oh, Fuck' He caught her as he legs crumbled beneath her, held her, but, before he could reassure her, she said, 'She told him, didn't she? That's why they left the hotel so early.' She looked up at him, her face stricken. 'Why Nathan went off the road.'

'No…'

'Yes! He was always so careful, but the police said that he was driving close to the limit on a winding country road, That he couldn't have seen the mud slick until it was to late.'

'You can't know that, Brooke!'

'They set out before breakfast and I thought it was just because they were so egar to get home. At least I had the comfort of beleaving they were happy, excited at coming back to their baby, but if se told him…'

'Please, Brooke, don't do this to yourself.'

'If he'd told her, Lucas.; She shook her head as if to drive the desperate thoughts from her mind. 'What state would they both have been in?'

'Maybe they were relived. Happy that they didn't have any more secrets. Maybe they just wanted to get home so that they could tell you that.' He thought about the calls he'd ignored on his BlackBerry. Had Nathan called him, thinking that if everyone knew the truth, he'd be okay with it? 'Listen to me, Brooke Davis.' He said, grasping her by the shoulders, shaking her. 'Look at me.'

She obeyed, raising her lashes clumped with tears she'd shed, eyes stricken with grief that tore at his heart. 'Whatever happened is not your fault. You gave them what they wanted most in the world. We both did what we thought was best.'

'Dammed with good intentions.' She rubbed her hand across her cheek, glancing at it in surprise when it came away dry, then straightened, took a step back and, breaking free, said, 'Well at least you'll have your daughter to console you.'

'Gracie is our daughter, Brooke. Yours and mine.'

'You keep saying that, but you'll be the one to make all the decisions about her future. To say where she lives. Who looks after her.'

'Haley wanted you to take care of her. I want that, too.' He saw a flash of hope brighten her eyes.

'Then give me custody, Lucas,' she begged. 'As her guardian you can do that can't you?'

'Yes,' he said, 'but…'

'You could come and see her whenever you want,' she said. 'She could even come and visit you when she'd …'

'I could,' he said, cutting her off before she betrayed exactly how little she thought of his ability to make an emotional commitment. 'But I won't.'

He turned to look at Grace, who was watching the spangle of lights spinning across the ceiling, making excited noises as she reached up to catch the colors.

He'd been thinking about her ever since the lawyer had told him that Nathan had left her in his care.

He'd been so sure that he was going to hand her over to Brooke. Put in flying visits, offer advice, be there for them both when they needed him. But basically keeping his distance.

But Nathan had wanted him involved, had wanted his little girl to know her father. And as he'd walked back to Brooke's store it was Grace's smile as she'd grabbed at his beard, her warm baby smell, the joyful way that she stretched for each new sight, experience that had filled his head and he'd known that.

'I'm the only father that Gracie is ever going to have and se deserves more from me.' He turned to look at Brooke, white-faced at the bluntness of his refusal, her hand to her mouth. 'From us.'

**Thank you again and please keep your amazing reviews coming**

**xoxo B**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N I'm really sorry for any confusion with chapter nine – I accidentally posted chapter 4 as 9 – it has been fixed now, so if you haven't read it go back and catch up before reading this. Thanks again and sorry. **

**Okay this is a really short chapter, but I had to take advantage of nap time. Not to worry though because chapter eleven will be out tonight. Please keep up the amazing reviews.**

**Here you are…..**

**Chapter Ten**

Brooke watched him cross to the stroller and crouch beside Grace, catch her tiny hand, hooking it in one of his long fingers – strong, darkly tanned against her pale pink, almost transparent skin. That baby noises grew more excited as she grasped it tightly, kicking her little feet as she smiled up at him.

'This is something we have to do together,' he said. Then, looking back at her when she didn't respond, 'You know I'm right.'

'I do?'

'Of course you do. You want what I want.'

Brooke stared at him. 'Are you sure about that? You never wanted her, Lucas. You never wanted children at all. Remember?'

She did. Remembered, as if it were yesterday, the day he'd heard that his father's new wife had given birth to a baby daughter and he'd said, '….another kid for him to let down…' That no way, never was he going there…

Easy to dismiss as the angry response of a hurting youth, but he'd never changed.

For a moment their eyes met and she saw he was remembering that moment, too.

'It's easy to say you don't want them, Brooke, but Gracie isn't some faceless baby. She's real.' Then, with a catch in his throat, 'She's mine…..'

Brooke swallowed, unable to bear the raw love with which he was looking at Grace.

'I'm sorry, Lucas. You never bargained for this.'

'No? The minute I spilled my seed into that plastic cup it was always a possibility. What I hadn't bargained on was the emotional backlash. I told myself that it was anger that kept me away. I'd signed up for Nathan's deal with my eyes open, but he'd changed the rules and I'd been used. That you'd been used, too….' He bent and kissed the tiny fingers. 'I clung to that thought nine long months, clung to it when she was born, when I ignored Nathan's plea to come and stand as her godfather.'

'You convinced us,' she said a touch shakily.

'Fooled you. Fooled myself. The truth, Brooke, is that I knew if I saw her, I'd never be able to leave her. Let her go. I'd have fought Nathan, Haley, even you, to keep her.'

'Are you going to fight me now?'

He took one long look at the baby and then rose to his feet. 'I hope not. I want us to be partners in this, not adversaries.'

'How can we? Haley was right. You're in LA, I'm here. Unless you really do expect me to give up everything I have here, come to California and be Gracie's nanny.'

'You're her mother, Brooke. I wouldn't insult you with anything like that.'

'I'm sorry.' Then, when he didn't elaborate, 'So? What did you have in mind?'

'I told you. A partnership. As Nathan and Haley's executor it's my responsibility to interpret their wishes.'

'But…'

'We know what they wanted individually. But if they'd both been in full possession of the facts I know that Nathan would have wanted you, that Haley would have wanted me to be fully involved in her life.'

Brooke frowned, trying to make sense of what he was saying, then, giving up, she said, 'The obvious solution is that I keep Gracie. You visit anything you like. Move back to Tree Hill if you want to be a full-time father. The world runs from small towns these days, so everyone says.' Then, when he didn't answer, 'How much simpler can it get?'

'You think that would be simple?'

She shook her head. 'Of course not, but we've established that we both want the same thing. The rest is just details.'

'Not quite. For start you're assuming you'll be able to stay in Nathan and Haley's house.'

'It's Gracie's house,' she reminded him. 'Isn't that what you said?'

'The house is part of Nathan's estate. It will have to be valued for probate purposes. I'm not up to date with the property market in Tree Hill but I do know that prices have rocketed since Nathan bought it ten years ago. It's certainly going to to be in the seven figure bracket.'

'Over two million. One very like it, a couple of doors down, sold last month.'

'Well, that makes it inevitable. Apart from the fact that it's a very large house for just the two of you, with big running costs that would have to come out of the estate, the likelihood is that it will have to be sold to cover inheritance tax.'

'But it's her home,' Brooke repeated, bewildered by this sudden turn of events.

'No, it's your home,' he said, but not unkindly. 'Gracie's not four months old, Brooke. I don't think she'd likely to notice where she's living for quite some time, do you? Only who she's living with.'

She swallowed down her protest, knowing that he was right. 'What else?' she asked, knowing that there had to be more.

'I'll set up a trust with the residue to provide adequate funds to care for Gracie, pay for her education, provide all her needs, just as Nathan and Haley would have done.'

'That's just money. Things. Tell me about important stuff. About who'll hold her when she cries, who'll take her to ballet lessons, hold her hand on her first day at school. I'll be there but where will you be?'

'Brooke…'

'No! I've heard you say a dozen times that you practically live out of a suitcase. Even if you moved back to Tree Hill, you'll never be here.'

'You think I can't change?'

'I think you might mean to,' she said. 'I'm sure you'd try. But how long do you really think changing dippers will be enough? How long before the horizon calls? Can Gracie's firsts steps compete with that? Her first word? And what happens when she's sick and you're off somewhere communing with a mountain? You're talking about a partnership, but what's the split? Not fifty-fifty, that's for sure.'

'Is that what you're offering?'

'That's my point, Lucas. I can't offer anything. I don't have any rights, remember? You hold all the cards.'

'I could change that.'

'Oh…' the fact that he'd actually been thinking that far ahead took the wind out of her sails. 'How?'

'Very simple. We'll get married, officially adopt Gracie so that we have equal rights as her parents. Fifty-fifty,' he said with a wry smile. 'That is what you wanted?'

**Thanks for reading, chapter 11 should be up tonight.**

**Xoxo B**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So I had every intention of sitting down putting my feet up and writing a nice long chapter for you but, I forgot that we had family coming to stay with us for the log weekend (labor day weekend, for those who don't live in the US). Family who are driving me crazy telling me how I should raise my kids and why aren't Nathan (my boyfriend and I ) married yet. Grrr! Sorry I had to rant to someone. Anyway this chapter is a mix of emotional and fun. **

**Thank you all so much for you reviews. I promises that I will get around to personally thanking you all sometime soon. **

**Here is ……**

**Chapter Eleven.**

Brooke felt her heart stop.

Marriage? He was proposing till-death-do-us-part, in-sickness-and-in-health, for-ever-and-ever _marriage_?

Everything that she had wanted in one package. Lucas, Gracie…..

Except of course, it wasn't and slowly her heart began to beat again.

'That's a huge commitment just to give me what I want, Lucas. As her guardian you could simply put her in my care.'

'I could, but that way neither of us would have any real security.'

She frowned. 'what do you think I'd do, Lucas? Run away with her?'

'No, of course not.'

'Then what? She demanded.

'You might meet someone.'

'Someone?' Then, 'If this is about Owen….'

'No. You told me it's over and I believe you, but it's hardly beyond the bounds of possibility that you'll meet some decent man who'll become part of your life and when that happens, it's inevitable that he'll become the father figure in my daughter's life.'

_Then stay with me…_

The cry from her heart went unheard, unanswered, as he continued, 'I accept everything you say, Brooke. Even if I wanted to, I can't shed my responsibilities just like that. Any change is going to take time and besides, Gracie has had enough disruption in her short life. She needs you.'

Far from delight at getting exactly what she wanted, all she felt was a dull ache at this confirmation that when he said marriage, he did indeed simply mean a partnership, but what choice did she have? 'It's going to take a few weeks to sort things out here, too, Lucas. Wind up my business.' Then, trying to make a joke of it, 'Maybe you'd better marry me before you go, Justin case I get swept of my feet before I join you in LA.'

'Join me?' He looked stunned. 'Would you do even that for Gracie?' he said, taking her chin in his hand, lifting her face so that she could not avoid the blue eyes that were unexpectedly tender.

_Not for Gracie. For him…_

'Californian is just another state, Lucas. It's bigger then North Carolina and there are a lot more people…'

A shiver ran through her at the thought, but if that was the only way Gracie could be with her father, the only way Lucas could be near his daughter, then, for the two people she loved most in the world, she would do it without another thought.

'No.' Lucas' response was abrupt and his hand dropped to his side. 'I'm not asking you to uproot yourself. Leave everything you know.'

'Only marry you.'

That wiped the tenderness from his eyes.

'Only that,' he said. 'In return for your freedom, I'll buy Nathan's house form his estate so that you and Gracie can stay there.'

He'd buy the house? Just like that? Without having to even think about it?

'And you? Where will you be, Lucas?'

When his baby was crying in the night. When she was alone….

'At work, like any other father,' he replied. 'As you were quick to remind me, I've got commitments that I can't walk away from, but I'll spend as much time in Tree Hill as I can, so keep the bed in the basement ready for me.'

Which answered any questions she had about what kind of marriage he had in mind. Could she live with that? Could he? Living on the other side of the country, did her intend to?

'What happens if I tell you to take your partnership and shove it?'

'She's my child, too, Brooke,' he said, not taking the offence she'd intended. 'I'm prepared to do what's necessary so that you can keep her, but I will be part of her life.'

'In other words, if I don't agree I'll have to fight you for custody.'

'You can try.' He tilted one brow. 'Do you think you can afford it?'

'Don't you dare threaten me, Lucas Scott! Haley wanted me to take care of Gracie. You know that. Their lawyer knows it, too.

'He knows they were going to talk about it. There's nothing in writing,' he pointed out. 'And the last thing Nathan did was sign his will, which suggests that, whatever his wife thought on the subject, he was absolutely clear in his own mind.'

'But he didn't know the truth!'

'Whose fault is that?'

She looked away. Not his. And he was right, she didn't have a case. She'd embarked an a surrogate pregnancy with the sworn intention of giving her baby to her sister. Clear evidence that she had no attachment. And Lucas could, if she chose to make a fight of it, make it look as if she was clinging to the baby not just as a free meal ticket, but for the roof over her head.

He wasn't threatening her. He didn't need to. He was simply telling it like it was. And what, after all, was he asking of her? Nothing that she'd hadn't, in her deepest heart, wished for with every fiber of her being. To be his wife.

There was a saying. Be careful what you wish for.

She managed a careless shrug. 'Well, I suppose a paper marriage is just one step up from being offered a job as her nanny.'

'You don't have the qualifications to be a nanny, Brooke. Marry me and you'll keep your baby, keep your home.'

This was surreal, Brooke thought. If they were total strangers, it couldn't be any colder.

Brooke had scarcely expected him to go down on one knee, declare undying love, but as a proposal of marriage this lacked just about everything. 'That's it?'

'Would you like me to dress it up with fancy words?'

She shook her head. 'No. It's just a business transaction so we'd better keep it plain and honest.' And, since they were being blunt, she said, 'I imagine you'll want the protection of a pre-nuptial agreement?'

'Imagine again. This isn't a short-term contract. We might be on opposite sides of the world , but we'll be together, partners in Gracie's life until she's grown up. Independent. After that… Well, I'd consider half my worldly goods well spent in return for my daughter.

'I don't want your money. Now or ever,' she managed through a throat apparently stuffed with rocks. 'The only currency worth a damn in this exchange is time and love. Can you spare half of that?'

'Gracie will have all I have to give,' he assured her. 'What are you prepared to sacrifice?'

Hope. All her dreams…'Whatever it takes.'

'Then I have you answer.'

'Yes, I suppose you have,' she said.

And that was it. Two people pledging their life to each other, not with a kiss, not to the soundtrack of champagne corks and cheers but with an awkward silence that neither of them knew how to fill.

'Maybe,' she said with forced brightness when her ears were ringing with the silence, empty and hollow as the years that stretched ahead of them, 'since where in this for the duration, in a year or two, we could pay another visit to the clinic and make Gracie a brother or sister.'

He captured her head, leaning into er and, with his lips inches from her own, his eyes ice blue, his voice crushed gravel, he said, 'Sorry, pretty girl. If you want me to give you another baby, you're going to have to look me in the eyes while I deliver my fifty per cent.'

Someone tried the door. The knocked.

She didn't move. Couldn't move as he continued to look down at her, his eyes dark, unreadable, drawing her to him like a magnet until they were standing as close as two people could who weren't actually touching. Until she could feel the heat coming from him, warming her through the think silk of her shirt, through the navy linen skirt. Until her breast yearned for his touch and her mouth was so hot that in desperation she touched her lower lip with her tongue.

Closer…

'Brooke? It's me….' Rachael called, tapping again.

It was Lucas who spun away form her, crossed to the door and unlocked it.

'Brooke,' Rachael said, reaching out for her. 'How are you?'

They hugged wordlessly for a moment, before pulling apart.

'Hey, Rachael. Thanks for steeping up to help Brooke.'

'No problem. I'm glad to do it.' Then, glancing at her, Rachael said, 'You're right about the beard?'

'It's a temporary aberration,;' she said rapidly, before he could wonder just what she had said about him – she couldn't remember saying that much, but when Rachael got her started…. 'Lucas, this is going to be boring. Why don't you take the baby home?'

Lucas didn't want to go anywhere. He wanted to saty right here and stare at the gleam of her lower lip where her tongue had touched it. Wanted to rub his thumb over it, lick it, taste her just as he did in his dreams…

'Deb will probably have arrived by now.'

Not much of an incentive, even if she had trusted him with Grace.

'I'll wait,' he said. Then, before she could object, 'You wouldn't want to disappoint the ducks, would you?'

She looked up and for a moment their eyes closed the distance between them.

Then, without another word, she turned to Rachael.

He wandered around the her shop. It was his first visit and he was impressed by the drama, the simplicity of the design, the uniqueness of the display shelves. There was nothing to detract from the clothing – each piece a work of art – which alone provided the color, the richness. Drew the eye.

He touched a silk camisole with a collar of gemstones, closing his eyes as he imagined Brooke wearing it. Imagined sliding it up her body…He glanced across at her, head to head with Rachael as they went through something on the computer.

'_You were right about the beard.'_

She'd talked about him with Rachael?

He rubbed his hand over his chin. A temporary aberration, was it? Maybe…

Grace whimpered. 'What's up, pretty girl?' he said, bending over the stroller. He was rewarded with a smile and an excited wiggle. Did she know him? So soon?

Oh, no. The wiggle had an entirely different cause.

'Brooke, Gracie needs changing.'

'You'll find everything you need in her bag,' she said, not turning round, but concentrating on the screen. 'Wipes, clean dipper, plastic bag to seal up the dirty dipper.'

'But…'

'The bathroom is behind my office.' Then she did turn round, one exquisitely arched brow challenging him to put all those bug sentiments he'd been throwing around, all his protestations about wanting to be a father, to practical use. 'Put the change mat on my desk.'

He had two choices. Throw himself on her mercy or get on with it. He kicked the brake off the stroller and wheeled Grace into Brooke's office, closing the door firmly behind him.

He did not need an audience for this.

Then he looked down at Grace.

'It's my first time, kid,' he said/ 'Be gentle with me…'

Brooke had been holding her breath. As Lucas shut the door of her office, she let it go and Rachael giggled, 'Has he ever changed a dipper before?'

'I don't think so.'

She raised her eyebrows. 'You're that mad about the beard?'

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Lucas, feeling much as he'd done when he'd secured his first publishing contract – exhausted but triumphant – put Grace to his shoulder and continued his explorations of Brooke's office.

Flipped through sketches for a new design, a fairy-tale style wedding dress.

'Ready?' Brooke asked, reaching for Grace, apparently finished with her briefing.

'This is pretty,' he said, picking up the sketch book. She didn't answer and he turned to look at her. 'I didn't know you did wedding dresses.'

'I don't. That was just me mucking around.'

It was much to late to wish he'd looked the other way, kept is mouth shut. Impossible to just put it down and walk away. 'Well, it's beautiful,' he said, replacing the book back on the desk. 'You've come along way since Halloween costumes.'

'There's more then one way to travel, Lucas,' she said, tucking Grace into the stroller. 'Give me a call if you need anything, Rach.'

'What dose she usually do?' Lucas asked as they headed for the park, eager to get the 'bride' word out of his head.

'It's Rach, so you know, not a lot.' She smiled coyly. 'I'm kidding. She dose the books, handles the catalogs and works with mouth on the website. I was going to offer her a full partnership later in the year…'

'Was?'

'I'm not in any position to make promises at the moment. I've got to put Grace first. I need to be able to see way ahead.'

'You seem to work well together. You obviously trust her. Is she serious about this, as a career, or is it just a hobby?'

'She's come along way since her marriage. Mouth really brings out the best in her. She obviously doesn't need to work, probably doesn't even need the pocket money, but she dose it for me. She's my best friends…my sister.'

'She sounds as if she would make an ideal partner. You'd halve the workload and costs, double the stock,' he pointed out. 'It's worth thinking about.' Then, 'mustard or ketchup?'

'What?' Spotting the hot-dog van, she said, 'Oh, no…'

'It's lunch time and you're the one who can't afford to miss meals.'

'It's eleven thirty.' Then, with a grin like a naughty schoolgirl, she said, 'Ketchup. No onions. And fries if they've got them.'

'I'll catch up to you,' he said, surrendering the stroller.

It was mid-term vacation and the nearest benches were all occupied by mother watching small children and she wandered alongside the path, following the lake until she was out of sight of Lucas. It didn't matter. He'd find her, she thought, trying to remember the last time they'd eaten hot dogs in the park.

Her musings were brought to an abrupt halt by the sight of a small boy teetering dangerously on the edge of the lake as he strained to reach a basketball that was getting further away from him with every lunge.

Letting go of the stroller, she grabbed the back of his sweater just as gravity won.

'What the heck do you think you're doing?' she said as she hauled him back from, at best, a very cold bath, at worst…

'I can't go home without the ball or my dad will kill me.'

'I really doubt that he would kill you,' she said.

'If he doesn't my brother will. It's his ball.' Then, looking up at her with big brown eyes, 'You're bigger then me. You could probably reach it.'

They both studied the ball as, driven by a light breeze, it drifted slowly, but inexorably, towards the centre of the lake.

'No one could reach it.'

'You could break off a branch off one of those bushes, please,' the boy suggested helpfully. She wasn't, for a minute, taken in by the 'please', but even if she had been prepared to indulge in such vandalism, it wouldn't have helped. The ball was too far out for anything but direct action.

She looked around. There was no sign of Lucas, but with school out there was probably a queue.

She looked again at the ball. While she didn't, for a moment, believe that either his brother or his father would kill him, she did know that, as soon as she turned her back, he'd try and get it himself and, without pausing to consider the wisdom of such a move, she parked Grace by the bench, kicked off her shoes, hiked up her skirt. Then with a stern, 'Watch the baby!' she waded in.

A gang of ducks who'd gathered in anticipation of a free lunch flapped away in a flurry of outrage at the invasion, driving the ball even further into the centre of the lake.

'No crusts for you,' she muttered, sucking in her breath sharply at the coldness of the water and doing her best not to think about the slimy stuff oozing over feet as she took a step towards the centre of the lake. Or how slippery it was. How easy it would be to lose her footing. Instead, she grabbed a low overhanging branch for safety and she eased herself closer to the ball.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Lucas, cardboard tray holding cups of coffee, hot dogs, Brooke's French fries came to an abrupt halt as he saw Grace, parked on the path with a small boy clutching the handle of the stroller. Saw her shoes. Then, as he saw Brooke wading out into the lake, his heart turned over.

'What the hell are you doing, Brooke?' he thundered.

Lucas. Now he turned up, Brooke thought, wishing she had kept her shoes on as she felt something hard beneath her toes and belatedly thought of all the things that got thrown into the lake.

'Going for a swim,' she tossed back, without turning round to see if his face matched his voice, afraid that if she made a sudden movement , she'd slip. 'Why don't you roll up you pants and come on in? The water's lovely.'

'Say that again without your teeth chattering and I might just believe you.'

'Wimp,' she countered, keeping her eye in the ball, which her own movement was driving further away.

She didn't need Lucas Scott to tell her – from the dry vantage point of the path – that this was probably the worst move she'd made in a very long time. Too late now, she thought, gritting her teeth as the water edged above her knees and soaked into her skirt.

Then she ran out of branch.

It was much too late to wish she'd stuck to looking helpless on dry land. Instead, she made a sideways track, taking the long way round to come at the ball from behind.

It was only as she turned to face the path the she realized how far out she was.

She had no one to blame but herself, she reminded herself as she scooped up the ball, tucked it under her arm and waded back, grabbing for the safety of the branch.

There was a crack like a gun shot as it broke off and, before she could save herself, she was sitting up to her armpits in water, ''The shock drove the breath from her body and, unable to speak, unable to think, she just sat there clutching the ball to her chest.

**Thanks for reading. Please review….**

**Xoxo B**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Another short chapter I know, but my boyfriends family is still here(driving me crazy!), I had to go to the extreme of faking a head ache and locking myself in the bedroom to write this. I'm pretty busy all next week, my maternity leave is over and the school year is starting again, so it is back to work (part time anyway). The good news for you is, I teach kindergarten so my hours aren't long and I don't really have a lot of work to do outside school, so updates won't take to long, but more then likely longer then they have been. **

**My creative outlet is writing fanfiction, but I suck at anything to do with graphics and photo shop and all those things that all you wonderfully talented people do to make your beautiful fanart.**

So I was wondering if anyone would be willing to make a banner or video for my story.

**Please PM if you are interested, of course I will give you full credit and will even put up links to you profile or art or whatever you chose.**

thanks xoxo

B

**Chapter twelve**.

Lucas abandoned the tray and plunged into the water, grabbed Brooke by the arms and hauled her upright. He wasn't sure which of them was shaking the most as he said, 'I'm sorry I was so long. I had to wait for your fries.'

'That's good. That means they're fresh,' she said. 'Hot.' Then, 'Did you remember….'

'Ketchup.' He said, and suddenly he was grinning as he said it. Laughing.

He'd remembered. He remembered everything about her.

The happy way she had beat him at pool on there first date – a date his uncle had not been so happy about – but she'd been so happy that it was infectious and he'd been unable to tell her 'no'.

He remembered the way she'd flung her arms around him as they kissed in the rain. The way she'd rolled her eyes as at his choice of Halloween costume, his music taste, clothes. Her quietness. The way she'd listened to him when he'd told her his dreams…

Remembered his face as he'd left her asleep in the tangled sheets.

She was always there. When he thought of home, it was always Brooke who filled him mind. Always Brooke who was the '…ever fixed mark…'

'I remembered,' he said, and her lovely mouth tilted up at the corners, a snort of laughter escaped her because it was beyond ridiculous that two sensible adults would be standing in up to their thighs in a muddy lake, taking about French fries. 'So, are you done with swimming for the day? Only the food will be getting cold.'

'C-cold?' That made her laugh again so that she was in danger of dropping the ball.

He took it from her, turned and tossed the ball to the boy. 'There you go. And keep away from the water in future,' he called after him as he grabbed it and ran.

'H-he d-didn't even say th-thank you,' she said, and that seemed to make her laugh more.

'No doubt he thought he was in trouble,' he said, picking some waterweed from her shoulder, before taking her hands and helping her back up onto the path. He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

'It'll be ruined,' she protested.

'Then it will be a match for the pants and the shoes. Here, drink this,' he said handing her a cup of coffee.

She groaned. ' I shouldn't have coffee,' she said, staring down at her cup. 'Because of the milk.'

'Right.'

'I don't think just this once will hurt…'

'Better?' he asked a couple of minutes later as she slowly blew into the small slit of the plastic lid.

'Much,' she said, unpeeling herself from the bench and tossing the trash into the near by can, while he fished out the bag from under the stroller and hurled a handful of crusts far into the lake, sending birds spinning and flapping to reach it. 'They have no manners.'

'That's what I love about them,' Brooke said, watching him, hair blown by the breeze, shirt clinging to shoulders broad enough to prop up her entire world. Muddy pants, wet shoes where he'd come to her rescue. 'They go for what they want. No pretence. No hang-ups.'

Then, because she didn't want to think about what she couldn't have, she told him about the time she and Peyton had come here as children to feed the ducks, Nathan had stolen all their bread and she had pushed him into the water.

'Are you telling me that perfect Brooke Davis was not only a terrible teenager but a trouble making child?' The idea seemed to amuse him.

'Apparently.' And she smiled too. 'I hope Grace takes after you.'

He took her hands. 'I don't think you have anything to worry about there, Brooke,' he said, his grip tightening, his gaze suddenly more intense. 'I hope she is just like you. You were born a giver. Ducks. Kids with lost balls. A friend desperate for a baby. You're always there.' Then, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of her fingers, 'And speaking of giving, you'll need a ring. Do you want to design it yourself? Or will you let me choose something for you?'

'There's no need for that,' she said. A ring was a symbol, a token of deep and abiding love. Then, because that sounded ungrateful, 'It seems…inappropriate to make a big thing of this.'

'Because it's so soon?'

Lucas had know from the moment the facts had been laid out in the lawyer's office what he had to do. Maybe he'd known it from the beginning. He'd told himself that it was no more then a piece of paper that gave Brooke back her baby. It wasn't as if he'd planned to repeat the mistake of marrying a women who'd want more then he could give.

Then, coming around the corner, seeing her wading out into the lake, imagining glass, rusty cans, imagining her slipping and getting tangled up in weeds or trash while he was stranded on the path, hands full, unable to move, it had hit him, like running full tilt into a brick wall.

That he didn't want a paper marriage – he wanted Brooke. Had always wanted Brooke.

Now hearing the hesitation in her voice, he wanted to wrap his arms around her, kiss away her doubts, put laughter back into her eyes. Somehow reassure her that if she'd give him a chance, he would strive to make her happy. Give her all the children she wanted, with love, passion, the two of them becoming one in that precious moment of conception.

Instead, he'd be on the other side of the country and she'd be on her own, picking up the pieces, making a life for their little girl, while he came and went as he always had, pleasing himself.

The one selfless thing he could do was give her Grace. A home that would hers for ever. Security.

She deserved that. They owed it to her – Nathan, Haley and, above all, him.

'People will understand,' he said.

Brooke, her hands clasped in his, understood just one thing Lucas didn't have to do this. He was, incredibly, doing this for her. That he was everything she'd ever wanted and now they had a common purpose that would bind them together more tightly then fleeting passion.

'How soon?' she asked.

'I'd like to settle everything before I leave.'

Brooke remembered the way he'd made list's on lined pad- an organizational skill he'd learned from Haley. He'd numbered each item, ticking it off as each task was accomplished so that he could forget it, move on.

It was a good system. It kept you focused on what was important. But the idea of being an item on a list, something to be ticked off, was so mortifying that she said, shivering, 'Leave it to me. I'll contact the register when we get home and check what we need to do.'

'Let's worry about that later. You need to get home out of those wet things.'

They went in the back way through the laundry room. Brooke hung up Lucas' jacket so that the lining could dry while Lucas eased off his wet shoes, peeled off his socks, tossed them in the sink while she struggled with the buttons of her own jacket.

'Here, let me do that,' he said, bending to tackle them, so that she was staring at his thick, wind-tousled hair.

He peeled it away from her shirt, draped it over the dryer, then, while she struggled to catch her breath, slipped the button at her waist. The zip, always dodgy, peeled back under the added weight of water and the lot fell in a crumpled heap at her feet.

'I can manage,' she said, kicking free her skirt, slapping his hands away as he set to work on her shirt, clearly believing her incapable of undressing herself.

'Sure?' he said.

'P-positive…' Even if she had to rip it off. 'If you leave your pants, I'll put them in the machine…'

Her mouth dried as, taking her as her word, he slipped the buckle on his belt, undid the button at his deliciously narrow waist and slid down the zip.

Later. She'd meant later, she thought as she groped for the door handle, backing into the kitchen. She was almost sure she'd meant later, she told herself as she turned and found herself face to face with Taylor, who was at the table preparing vegetables, Deb was watching her.

While Brooke stood there, too embarrassed to speak, Lucas eased her aside so that he could push Grace into the kitchen, then, looking round, said, 'This is probably a good moment to tell you all that Brooke and I are getting married as soon as we can make arrangements.'

Deb reacted first.

'Married? Well congratulations, Brooke. And at least no one will put the obvious construct on the unseemly haste since you've already had the baby.' Then, while Brooke was still cringing with embarrassment, she turned to Lucas. 'I suppose you'll want your grandmother's engagement ring?'

About to step in and read his step mother the riot act, he saw the compassion in Brooke's eyes and realized that she had seen what he, on the defensive, protecting himself and Brooke from her barbs, had missed. How, looking beyond the plastic surgery, the perfectly applied make-up, the exquisite black designer suit, Deb was a fragile, desperately unhappy women who'd just buried her only son – a son she'd lost years before.

'Would you look after Gracie for me, Mrs. Scott,' Brooke added, 'while I go and take a shower?'

He wheeled the stroller closer to his step mother, touched her shoulder and said, 'I'll take you bag upstairs while you get to know your granddaughter.'

His reward was a smile from Brooke. It was a moment of revelation. Truth.

'Taylor?' Brooke prompted, obviously wanting to get any unpleasantness out of the way in one fell swoop. 'Do you have anything to say?'

'Only….What happened to your clothes.?'

**Thanks for reading! **

**A/N2: So I have had a few people ask for some smutty Brucas action. I would love to give that to you, but right now I don't really know how I would fit it in, I don't want to do it for the sake of doing it(lol wish I'd had that attitude in high school). Also, I'm not sure how comfortable I am writing smut and I don't want bad writing to cut into the flow of the story. **

**If anyone has any ideas or is willing to ghost write a scene, I'm willing to talk…**

**Thank you again B**


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Hello everyone, I know, I know you hate me for making you wait for an update, but please try and remember that I have two kids under two, a job and a boyfriend who comes home out of the blue and tells me we have 10 weeks to find and apartment, pack and move to NYC. Do you know how hard it is to just pack up your entire life and move?

Anyway I am really sorry and now that I had to give up my job, I should be able to update more regularly, but I also have like 5 weeks to finish packing and trying to organize a family of 4 to move, so it will not be as often as it used to be.

So I took a little creative license in this chapter with anything related to the wedding registry, as my boyfriend was happy to give me two babies and no ring, I have no insight into what the actually process is so I made it up to suit me.

On with the chapter….

Chapter thirteen

'What are you looking?'

Brooke looked up as her best friend stood at the door to the office at 'clothes over bros'.

'My birth certificate. I know it's here somewhere because I had to get a copy for ….' Then looking back at the drawer, she saw her name typed on a neat tab and lifted the surprisingly think folder from its sling, put it on the desk and opened it. 'God….'

'What is it?' Rachael asked.

'My entire life, apparently.'

At least anything related to her life that had been in the office when Haley had gone through like a buzz saw and organized everything. Brooke held back the tears; it was the small reminders that hurt the most.

At the back, tucked away, in plastic wallets, she found her social security card, passport and, finally, her birth certificate. She looked it over, and for the first time in a long time thought about her own parents, and what her mother would have to say about the situation she was in. Her own mother had left her to grow up with nannies and a credit card; she had never been there when she was need the most. Brooke knew she would be a different mother, was a different mother, she would never leave Gracie without a kiss goodnight, a hand to hold crossing the street, she would never leave Gracie.

'I can't let Gracie go,' she said 'she's lost so much…'

Rachael nodded, placing a hand on Brookes shoulder. 'I know sweetie. I know…' And she did, Rachael too had grown up with absentee parents and a self image problem. 'I'm here for as long as you need me.' She promised. 'Things won't always be this hard, once you're married….'

'It's just a piece of paper,' she said, not bothering to pretend with Rachael.

'For Lucas, maybe.' Rachael gave her shoulder a pat. 'You always did light up around him, Brooke.'

What could she say? Denying it wouldn't change anything. Or convince her best friend.

'It seems indecent to even be thinking about a wedding this soon after burying Nathan and Haley. Almost like dancing on their graves.'

'The human spirit needs to affirm life at these dark moments, Brooke. To celebrate new beginnings. Rebirth. Plus, it would make Haley so happy to see you and Lucas finally take the leap.'

'We weren't planning on a celebration. A ten minute in-and-out job at town hall rather than some big over the top party,' she replied. Then wished she'd kept her mouth shut. 'Lucas has to go back out on his book tour as quickly as possible. He's got a new book coming out soon.'

'You're not going with him?'

'He'll be all over the place and I've got commitments here. The house. Our business….'

'I'll put my maid of honor dress on the back burner then.'

'That's probably wise, 'Brooke replied. 'At least till you lose some weight, fat ass.' She joked.

Rachael laughed out loud at that and then her face become serious. 'Actually there was something I have been meaning to tell you, but with everything that has been going on….'

Brooke suddenly become racked with fear, Rachael was leaving her, worse she was sick, dying even. She started to hyperventilate.

'Brooke? Brooke, calm down. You look like Mouth when I told him.' She laughed.

'Why are you laughing?' Brooke was chocking on tears and her knuckles were white where she held onto the desk to keep herself standing.

'Gezz Brooke, I know I'm not the holly homemaker type, but I don't think I will be that bad of a mother.'

A fresh set of tears sprung to Brooke's eyes has she pulled Rachael into a bone crushing hug. 'You're finally going to have stretch marks' she joked.

Rachael hugged her tighter 'I'm glad I can make you happy.'

Brooke pulled Rachael to the totally chic, yet totally uncomfortable couch, and began firing questions at her. After discovering that she was 17 weeks along and healthy as can be expected Rachael turned to conversation back on the wedding.

'So? What are you going to wear to be married in?'

'Wear? I hadn't even thought about it.?' She didn't want to think about it. About designs for a sparkly princess dress she had drawn years ago and never made. About walking down the aisle in the dream dress on the dream day when she married the dream man.

'It's not important,' And, firmly changing the subject, she said, 'Did you want to talk to me before?'

'Oh, yes.' Rachael opened the book she was holding and handed it to her. Peyton and I were talking and we want to do something special to commemorate Nathan and Haley. Junk knows a guy who knows a guy who carves words into slate stepping stones and I thought maybe a quotation from this one. Elizabeth Barrett Browning…'

Brooke recognized it instantly. Had learned it by heart years ago at the height of her infatuation with Lucas. She had no need to read it, but closed her eyes and said the words out loud. 'How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…' But when she came to the last line, it was Lucas who completed the poem.

' – and, if God choose, I shall but love thee after death.'

Her eyes flew open and he was there, standing right in front of her, and she swayed towards him.

'Steady,' he said, catching her. 'Standing with your eyes closed can do crazy things to your balance.'

'I'm fine,' she said. She wasn't. But she would be.

'Right.' And after a moment he let go of her. Then taking the book from her hand, he turned to Rachael. 'That last line. It's perfect.'

'I thought so.'

'You do understand, Rachael? Why we're getting married so quickly.'

'You're giving Grace a family,' she said. 'That's a noble thing, which is entirely different from being solemn about it.' She lifted her hand to his cheek. 'You're allowed to be happy, too.'

'Rach…' Brooke warned, afraid she was going to tell him something Brooke was not ready for him to know. 'I called the registrar, Lucas. We need some paperwork. Birth certificates….'

'And?''

'Your devoice papers.'

He nodded. I've got them both at home. I'll get them couriered overnight.'

'Right. Good. So all we have to do is call the register office, present the necessary documents and give sixteen days notice of our intention to marry.'

'Sixteen days? I thought maybe a week…'

'Is that going to be too long? Once we've given notice we have a year to go through with it. If it's not convenient, we could wait…'

Lucas put down the book and took out his new BlackBerry. 'It's going to be tight. Let's see. It's the twenty-seventh tomorrow…' he checked the dairy '…which makes the first available day the twelfth. I have to be in Beijing on the fifteenth…it's just do-able. I was coming to New York next week for meetings. I've managed to move it forward.'

'Not too much of an inconvenience then.' She said.

'No….' he made a note, then slipped the BlackBerry back into his pocket. When he looked up he realized that both Brooke and Rachael were staring at him.

'I'm going to go and do something productive, someplace that's not here.' Rachael said, picking up the book and heading for the door.'

Lucas didn't take his eyes off Brooke.

'I was just an insensitive ass, wasn't I?' He'd watched a variety of expressions chase across her face since she'd opened her eyes when he's finished her poem. She hadn't been this easy to read since she had sat in the back of his car in nothing but mittens. All those years ago, he'd watched her put up a front for the world, but it had been obvious to him that she was scared out of her wits to open up and let anyone see the real Brooke Davis.

Right now there was too much going on. Too many feelings to hide. He'd just had a glimpse of one more loss she was being forced to bear, this time by him.

He'd wished he could blame his complete crudeness on the fact that he'd retreated to the basement to deal with things that could not be put off. He'd had to reorganize meetings, arrange for dates to be changed, reassure his publisher that he would be in China, for the release party for his new book, but it wasn't that.

It was the glow that had lit her up as she'd recited the poem listing every way in which women could love a man, knowing that he could have had that if he'd cared about anyone but himself.

'You don't have to answer that,' he said. 'I already know the answer.'

Brooke sighed. 'It's alright, Lucas. You don't have to pretend with me. We both know that you're only doing this so that I can keep Grace. I'm truly grateful.'

Pretend?

Grateful…

'Dammit, Brooke, you don't have to be grateful.'

He turned away, raking his hands through his hair, locking his fingers behind his head to keep them from reaching out to touch her lovely face. From telling her what she truly meant to him. Telling wouldn't do it. He was going to have to show her….

'I'm the one who is grateful and I'll say now what I should have said earlier.' Then, because some things had to be said face to face, he dropped his hands, turned to look at her. 'You're the mother of my child and I'll do my best, whatever it takes, to make you happy.' And in a gesture that he'd have sworn was completely alien to him but now seemed as natural as breathing, he laid his hand on his heart. 'You have my word.'

She looked up at him, her heart in her eyes. 'Anything?'

It was what, when he challenged her, forced her to face reality, he'd demanded of her. He could offer no less. 'Anything,' he affirmed with all the conviction he could muster. Then, rather more gently, 'Tell me, Brooke.'

'Well, it's just that I was wondering if we could have the wedding ceremony somewhere other than town hall,' This was so far from what he'd been expecting that he was left floundering for something to say.

'It's where I had to go to register Nathan and Haley's deaths….'

She faltered, clearly unable to find the words to express what that had done to her.

She didn't have to.

She shouldn't have had to ask. He should have thought, at least discussed it with her.

'I'm sorry, Lucas. You've got more than enough on your plate without me being a pathetic wimp about something so unimportant…'

'Don't!' He caught her to him, held her close. 'It's important to you and that makes it important to me. I should have talked this through with you instead of just assuming that just because it is the simplest solution it's the right one.'

'But it is. Simple is good. Just…'

'Just not the simple.' He leaned back a little so that he could look at her. So that she could see he meant what he said. 'It's not a problem. We can have the ceremony wherever you like.'

'Thank you.' She smiled. 'I'm sure we can find somewhere that isn't all white doves and string quartets.' She added and, with her this close, looking up at him as if her were her white knight, he felt a surge of hope that this could, truly, be more than a paper marriage.

More than hope.

An almost unbearable need to kiss her, show her that if only she would take her courage in both hands, trust him….

Trust. It kept coming back to that. He had asked her to trust him and she had, despite the fact that he'd not walked, but had run into the arms of her best friend, twice.

He'd told himself that it had been the right thing for her, but it had been his own fear, the prospect of someone loving him more than he was sure he could love her back had sent him out into a cold dawn of reality.

Rebuilding the trust that he had shattered so selfishly would have to be earned with bone-deep commitment. Kisses would have to wait.

'What exactly have you got against doves, Brooke?'

'Well,' she began, quite seriously, 'for a start they're not ducks….' Then she shook her head and without warning that smile hit him again. 'You know what I mean.'

'Yes, I know,' he managed. 'Simple.'

'I thought that's what you wanted, too. Especially as you'll be flying off to China the minute the ink is dry on the certificate.'

Lucas hadn't thought about what might happen after the event. Now he did. Did she expect them to say their vows and go their separate ways? That he'd have his bag packed and the taxi waiting to take him to the airport? The idea so appalled him that he said, 'Perhaps not the very minute. I thought I'd wait till the following morning. Just for appearance's sake,' he added when she stared nervously. 'We both know that the wedding is only a formality but there's really no reason to share that fact with the rest of the world. In fact, I think, Rachael might have a point.'

'She might?' she squeaked. 'And what point would that be?'

'That there's a fine distinction between a quite wedding and something that is, to all intense purposes, invisible.'

Invisible meant the marriage would pass unnoticed. He suddenly discovered that he wanted the entire world to take note. Having always steered well clear of the gossip column lifestyle, right now he'd actively welcome the prospect of a ten-page spread in People.

'We will need two witnesses. And convention suggests I should have a best man. Maybe,' he said, 'Gracie would like to be your bridesmaid?'

'My bridesmaid? That would be the person who's supposed to lead me astray on my hen's night, help me with my make-up, carry my train and catch the bouquet?'

'You could have one of those, too. Gracie is going to need a little help.'

'I don't think so.'

'Don't be a spoil sport. She'd love being dressed up in pink frills.'

'Oh please,' she said, trying not to laugh, but a giveaway dimple appeared in her cheek. How could he have forgotten that dimple?

'You think pink is too much of a cliché?'

'You don't want to know what I think.'

'You do know that she'll hold it against you. When she's older. Feel deprived. Just ask her….' Then 'Where is she?'

'Asleep,' Brooke said firmly, the dimple buck under control. 'I put her in the back work room so she wouldn't be disturbed.' Right on cue, there was a gurgle from the baby monitor sitting on the desk. 'Was asleep,' she said. 'I have to go.'

He caught her hand. 'Leave the wedding arrangements to me, Brooke. I'll organize everything.'

'I thought you had to be in New York all next week for meetings?'

'All you'll have to think about is what to wear,' he said. 'I promise.'

'No problem. I'm sure I have a dress somewhere that will be perfect.'

So until next time… please review 3


	14. Chapter 14

Okay I know I said that it was going to be lengthy between chapter updates, but today was a public holiday so I didn't have to work and the girls napped for like three hours today…. So here you go, it's just short but it's an update and it dose further the storyline

Happy Columbus Day!

Chapter fourteen

'I'm going to give Gracie a bath before dinner. You can be in charge of the rubber ducks if you promise not to say another word about pink frills on my bridesmaids.'

'You asking me to help?'

'You've already proved yourself in the dipper department. Tubing is next on the list. If you can spare the time?'

'Yes….Thank you.'

'Save your thanks until afterwards.'

'How hard can it be?' he said with a flippancy that earned him another smile. One that suggested he'd just said something very foolish. That was okay. Making a fool of himself would be a small price to pay for raising one of her precious smiles. Actually, it wasn't that difficult. Between them, Brooke and Gracie made short work of cutting him down to size.

'You undress her while I run the bath,' Brooke said.

Easier said than done. He was still wrestling with the little onese when Brooke came looking for him.

'The water's going cold while you two are playing,' she said, leaning against the door, apparently enjoying the spectacle of him reduced to a wreck by an infant.

'I'm not playing,' he protested. Playing he could do. 'It's Grace.' Then, 'No. It's me.' His hands were too big and Grace was so small, her skin so delicate. 'She's so tiny.'

'Oh please. She's a great big pumpkin,' Brooke said picking her up with the confidence of practice. Kissing her, then gently tugging the clothing over her head, pausing for a quick peek-a-boo, before pulling it free, then kissing her again. 'You should have seen her when she was first born,' she said, then looked away, clearly afraid she'd said something hurtful.

'I wish I had been, too, Brooke.' Been there at the birth to hold her hand, do whatever it was that useless men did while the women they loved suffered to give them sons, daughters. Except that would never have happened. He'd have been the outsider, excluded, while Nathan and Haley supported her through the birth.

She put a hand on his arm, rubbed it gentily in a gesture of comfort. 'The first time Haley let me bath Gracie I was certain I was going to drop her.'

And in that one brief phrase – 'Haley let me' – she told him that she knew. Understood.

'It's just a question of holding gently but firmly.' She went on as if she'd said nothing of importance. 'Come on. You'll soon learn.'

The small baby bath was on a low stand and Brooke sat on a stool with Grace on her lap. She gently washed her face and only then did she lower the baby into the water. Gracie immediately went rigid with excitement, then drew back her little legs and kicked.

Water erupted over the end of the bath, where he was poised with a bright yellow rubber duck, hitting him full in the chest. Gracie screamed with pleasure and, while he was looking down at the damage, she did it again, this time showering his head.

He was kneeling in water, was soaked to the skin and his hair was dripping down his back. It was the second time that day he'd been soaked. The second time that they had been laughing together.

Half an hour later he left a smiling, composed Gracie, dressed in a tiny pink shirt and soft blue overalls, in complete command of the nursery while he retreated, dripping, to the basement. Dripping but wrapped in the warmth of the towel Brooke had taken from the heated rail and draped around his neck.

'You'll soon get the hang of it,' she said, and he felt like the victor at some ancient games who'd just been garlanded with laurels. 'Next time you'll be ready for her.'

Personally, he didn't care how wet he got if he could be shoulder to shoulder with Brooke as, together, they'd bathed their baby.

The undercurrent of tension that had seemed t stretch to breaking point since he'd been home had completely evaporated in the splashing, the laughter, the song of Gracie's giggle.

'Ready for her? You mean, you knew that this was going to happen?' He indicated to his sodden clothes.

'Why do you think I chose the end that doesn't kick?'

'Oh I see.' He bent to tickle Gracie, who was sitting like a princess in the crook of her mother's arm, to kiss her downy head. 'I think mommy set daddy up.'

'It's a rite of passage,' Brooke said, still laughing, as he straightened. Then, as he looked down at her, the laughter died away and in that instant it was as if the last ten years had never happened. They were both still young, untouched, with all their dreams intact.

Her green eyes had the same look now that they had then. But older, just a touch wiser, he recognized it for what it was. Need, fear of change, of losing someone you care for- only this time it was not him she was afraid of losing, but Gracie. And he stepped back, turned away before he embarrassed them both.

Peyton met him as he crossed the hall. 'I was looking for Brooke, but I can see you have been bathing the baby,' she said, laughing. 'From what I've heard you've having a very wet day.'

'I'm not complaining,' he said, pulling a towel from around his neck and rubbing at his hair.

'Enjoy every moment, Luke. They grow up so fast.' Then, 'Anyway, I need to warn Brooke. Rachael called about getting a stripper.'

'A wedding planner would be more use right now.' Then, 'No, forget that. Brooke wants simple.'

'I thought you had simple,' she said.

'Simple,' he said, 'but more complicated.' Then, hearing Brooke at the top of the stairs, 'Let's go into the sitting room,' he said. 'Can I get you a drink?'

'I don't,' she reminded him. 'But you go ahead.'

He poured himself a Scotch, sat on the leather footstool that wouldn't suffer from his damp clothes.

'Brooke isn't happy with the idea of having the ceremony at town hall,' he said. 'It has too many negative associations. And, since we've decided to invite a few more people, we're going to need somewhere that can provide lunch.'

Actually, that was his idea, but she hadn't out-and-out vetoed it. 'Any thoughts?'

'To be honest, Luke, very few people I know bothered with the big wedding. I didn't myself….either time.'

Her sigh was, he thought, unconscious.

'Do you regret that…not having the big wedding I mean?'

'Maybe. Not that it would have made any difference. With us it was never meant to be and with Jake, the important thing is that I get to be with the person I love the most in the world, forever.' She shrugged, 'It's different for you two, of course. You're marrying to give Grace a family.'

'I thought it would make the adoption simpler, especially in the view of the fact that we usually live in different states even hemispheres.'

'Maybe that's the problem you need to address,' she said, giving him a very straight look.

'We both have commitments, Peyt.' He said, staring into the glass he was holding as if that somehow held the answer. 'Maybe later…'

'So what's the rush to get married?' She tilted her head to one side, looking like a small, brightly plumaged bird. 'What are you afraid of Lucas?'

'Of losing her.' The words slipped out. He hadn't intended to say them, but there it was. Plain and honest.

'Grace? Or Brooke?'

'Both of them.' He glanced up. 'You do know that she's Gracie's natural mother?'

'I know, I'm so proud of her.'

'You should be. She is an amazing person, but one who, right now, has no legal rights as far as Gracie is concerned. Nathan named me Gracie's guardian in his will.'

'And why would he do that?'

'Because Gracie is my biological daughter, too, Peyt. Nathan had problems of his own….'

'I see.'

'Do you? I'm doing what I can to give Brooke a legal right to her own child.'

'While protecting your own?'

'You think that's selfish?'

'I think it's natural instinct,' she said, which didn't answer his question. Or maybe it did. Maybe instinct, the urge to survive was, at heart, selfishness. 'But thank you for telling me, It explains a great deal.' She tilted her head again. 'Although not, perhaps, everything.'

'Everything is, for the moment, beyond me, Peyton. I'm adrift. I can't cry. I feel guilty when I forget for a moment…' He looked up. 'Guilty for not being here. If it wasn't for Brooke and Gracie…'

'Love is the most powerful emotion there is, Lucas.'

Love?

'It gives us the strength to hold on long after reason suggests that all is lost. The courage to let go when it feels as if you're tearing your heart out.'

'I let go once. I convinced myself that it was the right decision…you know how that worked out?'

Was he making a mistake now? Still being ruled by the selfish gene?

'How do you know Jake was the one?' he asked. 'How can you tell?'

'Ask yourself who will gain most from the choice you make. Who will be hurt. Whose happiness you truly care about.'

'It's that easy?' he said with a wry smile.

'I didn't say it was easy. Being honest with yourself is the hardest thing in the world. But if you truly love someone, you'll have the courage to face the truth.' Then, 'But you wanted me to help you find somewhere for the wedding. Why don't you get into some dry clothes while I do some research? That might give me some ideas.'

'You won't mention it to Brooke? I told her that all she'd have to do was turn up and say 'I do'', he said, getting up.

'You know I won't say anything to Brooke. She's just holding herself together. Anything that feels like a celebration is beyond her.'

'I can understand that. At least she was here…'

'That was not your fault, Lucas. You'll honor Nathan and Haley's memory far more by bring up that little girl then by standing in a church.' Then, patting his hand. 'You can't change anything that's happened. Regret is futile. Only the future matters.'

'I wish there was more time but I don't know when I'll get back and I don't want to leave Brooke in limbo. I want her to feel safe.'

'Don't worry. Between us and Rachael we'll make it as painless as possible. Give her the wedding that at the moment she can't allow herself to believe she has the right to enjoy.'

'Thank you. I'll arrange a credit card for you, Peyton. Do whatever you think best. Invite whoever you think she'd want to be there. Just …'

'Keep it simple.'

'Actually, I was going to ask you to make sure that Rachael doesn't get carried away.'

'Don't worry, I won't let her sell the exclusive to 'E'.'

He managed a smile.

He knew that his relationship with Peyton was always going to be somewhat rocky, but he was so glad that she was there for Brooke. Then, remembering Brooke's very specific reservations, 'And absolutely no string quartets or doves.'

Until next time…..please review, I'm having a little writers block and could really use your opinions and ideas.

-B xoxo


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello, hello, hello….**

**Well I very nervous about this chapter, I'm not sure how it will be perceived. I tried to put in what you have all been asking for and still keep to the storyline, but I don't know if it worked or not. **

**Anyway, guess I will find out…..**

**Chapter Fifteen. **

Lucas knocked on the door. Brooke opened it, and her pretty face hardened. 'Is something wrong?' she asked with concern.

'I wanted to talk to you….to explain.' He said. 'Can I come in?'

Brooke turned and walked back into the room, leaving the door open. Lucas scooted inside, a moment later, he stood in front of her. The room was silent save for the sound of rain on the window outside.

Lucas reached out and gently put his hands on her upper arms. Maybe he was crazy, but he wanted her now. He bent his head to kiss her.

He was sure she would push him away.

Instead, she pulled him closer.

'Are you sure?' he asked, pulling away and looking her in the eyes. Her expression revealed how much she wanted him, and he shivered.

'I'm sure,' she said.

He leaned in and felt the softness of her lips against his own. Brooke's hands slid up Lucas' chest and around his neck. Lucas eased the straps of her dress down her arms and pulled the material away from her body.

Her fingers reached for his pants and un-tucked his shirt. She undid each button until she could touch his skin.

Groaning he pressed her against the wall, cupping her ass in his hands. 'I'll go slow,' he promised.

Brooke thrust her hips into his groin. 'I don't want it slow,' she panted. She traced the line of hair above the waistband of his jeans before pulling them off. Then she was on her knees exploring his thick erection with her tongue.

Strangling a moan, Lucas lifted her to her feet. Carefully, he led her to the bed, where he lay her down. He eased himself over her, his strong and heated body encasing her with warmth.

'Brooke, you could make me loss my mind.' He rasped, and moved his hand between her legs.

He kissed the vale between her breasts, all the while stroking her until her gasps turned to screams.

His head lowered, and his mouth found her. Brooke's heels dug into the bed next to him, as her hips arched. He could hear the whimpering cries lodge in her throat.

'Now,' Brooke rasped. 'Take me now, Lucas!'

She wrapped her legs around his waist and felt the blunt head of his erection throbbing. Lucas pushed forward, filling her completely. The sensation was intense.

Her hips worked against his as he thrust and pressed harder and deeper.

Brooke moaned his name again and again. His lips lowered to her nipples, sucking until he felt Brooke nearing her climax. He nails dug into his back as the sensation overtook them at the same time.

He held her close to him, and then he opened his eyes and realized he had been dreaming. It was a variation of the same dream that had haunted him for years. Brooke, sensuous, silky, fragrant and forever – tormentingly – out of reach.

He'd come awake with a start and for a moment he just lay there, almost awake. Then his memory kicked in and the past week came rushing back like a news bulletin that he couldn't switch off. The loss of his brother, the discovery that Gracie was not only his daughter, but Brooke's too.

Now he had to face something bigger. His marriage to Brooke. The fact that in two weeks she would make a vow that tied her to him. That she would be coming to him, not as a bride should in a once-in-a-lifetime gown, a delicate tiara sparkling like raindrops in her chestnut hair as she walked towards him down a flow-decked aisle of the church, but in a ten-minute ceremony in a venue yet to be discovered.

Not with her heart in her hands, but to be tied to him by a paper marriage because there was no other way she could keep her baby.

His in name, but still forever out of reach.

He threw back the sheet, sat on the side of the bed, his face in his hands.

As he'd walked back from the lawyer's office, everything had seemed so simple. He and Brooke would get married, they would bring Gracie up together. She had, after all, said she'd do anything and he'd hoped, believed that their baby would bring them together.

And then he'd walked into her store and she'd been wrapped around the guy she'd brought to dinner the last time he'd been home.

Funny, attentive, too good-looking by half, he'd known that Owen was the man who was going to take Brooke from him once and for all.

He'd told himself, as he'd flown away, his heart like lead in his chest, that all he wanted was for her to be happy. Had waited, expecting every phone call, every e-mail from Nathan to tell him she was engaged.

Instead, he'd got a phone call from Nathan telling him that Brooke was going to act as a surrogate mother for Haley. The unspoken subtext a silent reminder that he had sworn to keep his role in that pregnancy a secret.

He got up, pulled on sweatpants, a T-shirt, needing air. But, as he came up from the basement and heard Grace's thin wail float down the stairs, he knew that he'd been fooling himself. That the universe was nothing beside the power of a love you would gladly die for and he took the stairs to the nursery two at a time.

The only light spilled in through the doorway, gleaming off the thin silky nightgown that floated above her bare feet, giving a glimpse of her legs as Brooke turned to look at him. He quickly looked up but her face was in the shadows, all dark hallows around her eyes, in her cheeks that told of nights without sleep.

'Lucas…I'm sorry if we disturbed you.'

'No. I was awake. How long have you been up?'

She shook her head. 'I don't know. Half an hour, maybe longer. I thought she was hungry….'

She was trying to coax the baby with a bottle but Grace, fractious, turned away, refusing to take it and all he could think was that he must do something.

Be a father.

'What can I do?'

Brooke shook her head. 'I don't know. I was just about to go and wake Deb.'

'You're that worried?' he moved closer.

'She had a baby. She's got to know more than me.'

'Let me take her for a while.'

She surrendered the baby without an argument and he laid the infant against his shoulder where she clung to him, snuffling and nuzzling into his neck like a tiny puppy, for a moment quiet. Then she pulled away and resumed her miserable little grizzle.

Brooke hadn't moved. 'Do you think she might be sick? Maybe we should call the doctor?'

We

Such a small word to mean so much.

He felt Gracie's cheeks. 'She's not hot,' he said. 'I think she's just like the rest of us. Feeling the strain. In need of comfort.'

'Who isn't?' she snapped, then, as he put his arm around her, she collapsed against his other shoulder and for a moment with both arms full – even if both his shoulders were getting wet – his words seemed complete. 'I don't know what to do!'

He rubbed his hand against her back, feeling the warmth of her skin through the thin silk. Silk?

'Where's Haley's robe?' he asked, Brooke was a couple of sizes smaller then Haley, even with the fuller curves that motherhood had given her, and this soft, silky robe tied loosely about her luscious body was out of an entirely different wardrobe.

'I the washing machine.'

Guilt welled up in Brooke. If she'd been more careful…. 'You did warn me,' she said, pulling free of the comfort of his arm. Comfort she didn't deserve. Then, palming away tears that were clinging to her lashes, 'I'm sorry. I'm trying so hard to hold it all together, but I hadn't realized what it was like. Being a mother, totally responsible for a precious life, has nothing to do with whose egg made the baby, or even giving birth. This is what's real….'

'I know, Brooke. I'm here.'

'You're here now,' she said. 'But what about next month? Next year….?'

It wasn't fair, she knew that, but she'd been struggling to settle Gracie for what seemed like forever and was at her wits' end.

'I used to lie awake, listening to Gracie cry in the night, and I actually envied Haley,' she confessed. 'I wanted to be the one to go to Grace, pick her up, comfort her.'

'That's perfectly natural, Brooke.'

'No. You were right. I should have gone away.' She looked up at him. 'I saw the fear in Haley's eyes. Every time I picked her up. That's why I did everything I could to get the paperwork through so quickly.' She sighed. 'Be careful what you wish for, Luke.'

'You did not wish for this.'

'No,' she hadn't wished for this. 'I had no idea how alone new parents must feel. How frightened. She's so little, Lucas. So, vulnerable….'

'Shhhh…' For a moment she wasn't sure whether he was talking to her or the baby. 'Try to relax –'

'Relax!' She shook her head. The baby was picking up her tension, they both knew it. 'I'm sorry. Yelling at you won't help.'

He lifted the baby from his shoulder, held her for a moment, kissed her head, then laid her in the crook of his arm and, taking the bottle form her, offered it to Grace.

She turned her head away.

'She won't take this, Brooke.' Then, 'Maybe you should try feeding her yourself.'

'No….' she swallowed. 'No, Lucas, I couldn't.'

Even as she said it, Grace started to grizzle again and, without saying another word, Lucas took her hand and lead her from the nursery and into her own bedroom.

'She wouldn't…'

'Just try,' he said.

'For Gracie?' If it was for Grace, she could do it.

'For Gracie. And for you, Brooke.'

He pulled at the knot tying her robe and the silk slithered from her shoulders, leaving her standing in a thin nightgown that clung to her breasts, her legs, and she felt naked, exposed, in a way she hadn't in a long time.

'Will you trust me?' he asked.

She looked up at him. With his tousled hair, the dark stubble of his chin, he didn't look like any baby guru, but yes, she would trust him with her life. He had been – was still – her hero. Her white knight. And she sat on the edge of the bed, eased herself against the pillows.

'Ready?'

As soon as he'd laid the baby in her arms she began to cry and Brooke instantly tensed again.

'Forget Gracie,' he said, sitting on the edge of the bed, turning to her, 'Just relax. Let your shoulders drop.'

But she was shaking. Afraid. 'What if I can't do it?'

'You can.' And he laid his warm hand on her shoulders and began to gently knead the tension from knotted muscles, soothing, relaxing her so that her breathing became easier and the shivering stopped.

'Trust me,' he said, briefly laying a hand against her cheek, before letting it slide down her neck, slip beneath the thin strap of her nightgown.

She tried to speak, to protest, but the only sound that emerged was a tiny squeak from the back of her throat, the truth was that she couldn't have done or said a word to stop him. Didn't want to stop him…

Lucas held his breath, knowing that they were both on the precipice of something special. Keeping his eyes fixed firmly on her face. She was wearing something soft, silky with narrow straps and he slipped one hand over her shoulder, let his hand slide down over the full, soft mound of her breast once her nipple had hardened eagerly for him, as if begging for his touch.

But this was not a girl's breast. Not the small high breast that tormented his dreams. It was full, womanly, filled his hand as he lifted it, bent to kiss it.'

'Please…'

'Anything,' he said, his eyes never leaving hers, 'you said you would do anything.' And, seized by some atavistic need to make his own mark, he touched his tongue to her nipple. It leapt in response and, feeling like some great hunter bringing home food for his tribe, he offered it to his baby.

Brooke grasped as Gracie's eager mouth found her nipple, fastened on. Groaned as she began to suckle and Lucas, not knowing whether it was pain or joy that sent the tears cascading down her cheeks, took her face between his hands, brushing them away with his thumbs.

'This is for Gracie, Brooke,' he said kissing each of her cheeks. Tasting the salt on his lips. 'For your baby. Our baby.' And he silently swore to cherish them both for the rest of his life.

Brooke, feeling closer to being a mother then she had since the cord had been cut, looking down at her baby who, eyes closed in ecstasy, fed with serene contentment.

'Well?' Lucas asked.

'Very well…' she palmed away the stupid tears and smiled. 'How did you know?'

'Just call me Mr Spock,' he said.

'I think you mean Dr Spock,' she said, catching her lower lip to stop herself laughing. 'Thank you, Lucas. I don't know what I'd have done without you.'

He touched her cheek. 'You'd have figured it out.' Then, 'Can I go and make you something to drink? Something milky to help you sleep?'

'I'll be fine now. But you must be exhausted,' she said, shuffling to make more room beside her. 'Put your feet up.'

'I don't need much sleep,' he said, but he settled down beside her. 'I got up for some air. I'm used to being outside.'

'In your penthouse? On top of a skyscraper?' she teased.

'It has a balcony.'

'Oh'

'And a pool.'

'For goldfish?'

'For swimming.'

'Ouch.'

'No. Your right it is wasted on me. I'm never there.' He said. He was never anywhere….

Gracie stopped suckling and looked sleepily up at her. 'Had enough, baby?' she asked.

Her mouth began to work and Brooke turned her round, jumped as she latched on to her other breast.

'Dose that hurt?'

Her laugh was slightly shaky. 'Not hurt, but it dose take your breath away for a moment or two. She's very strong.'

'So what dose your mother have to say about our situation?' he asked.

Brooke frowned. 'My mother has a lot to say about almost everything, but she doesn't actually know about any of this.'

'Any of it, not even the surrogacy?'

She shook her head and then changing the subject asked, 'So I suppose you leet your friend use it when you're not there. The pool?'

He glanced at her. 'Why would you think that?'

'Isn't that what people do?'

'Not if they've got an atom of sense,' he assured her. 'Besides, most of my friends have there own pools.'

'In that case maybe you need to do something about your security because someone was there when I called looking for you.'

He frowned.

'Lisa Brockton?' she prompted. 'Your personal assistant?'

'Lisa? Oh, right.'

Wrong, wrong, wrong!

'She wasn't actually in my apartment. My number is diverted to hers when I'm away.' Then, looking at her, 'Has that been bothering you?'

'No,' she said, much to quickly.

'She's a married women, Brooke.'

'Really?' And since when did that make a difference….?

'Married, with three grown-up kids and at least two grandchildren.'

'She didn't sound that old.'

'Brooke?' When she wouldn't look at him, he leaned forward. 'You didn't think…'

'Stop it.'

'Of course you did.'

He was grinning while she was blushing like a little girl. It wasn't as if she had any right to feel jealous, but when had that ever stopped her? She might have pitied the girls who Lucas had dated way back when, but that hadn't stopped her hating ever minute of it.

'You never talk much about your life, Lucas. Where you live. Your friends. Only about work.'

'it's been my all-consuming passion,' he said.

'You've really never found anyone?'

'I found a lot of someones. They all suffered from the same problem,' He leaned across and kissed the frown from her forehead. 'They weren't you,' he said, yawning, settling lower into the bed. He muttered something else, then turned towards her, so that the entire length of his body, relaxed and seeded to mold itself to hers. His face against her naked breast, Gracie's toes against his chin.

'Lucas?' she stared down at him. His eyes were closed, but he3 couldn't be asleep. Not just like that. 'What did you say?'

No response. Jet lag had finally caught up with him and it would be cruel to disturb him. Instead, she turned to Gracie. Her little girl was asleep, too, and she eased herself from beside Lucas, put her back in her crib. Stood over her for a while before going back to bed.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Lucas was dreaming again. It was the same dream that had hunted him for years. Brooke, sensuous, silky, fragrant and forever – tormentingly – out of reach.

He turned, trying to escape the image, but it only made things worse. The scent so familiar, but warmer, closer. And the silky body so real beneath his hand that he could feel the slow beat of her pulse.

He opened his eyes and discovered that dreams really did come true. He was lying beside his sleeping love, his arms draped over her waist, her lips temptingly within kissing distance.

He resisted that temptation, know once he kissed her she'd wake up, and this moment would be over. Then Gracie woke and Brooke opened her eyes.

Brooke woke to the sound of Gracie shouting joyfully from the nursery to let her know that it was time to get up. She lay for a moment, relishing the pleasure of a warm bed, the fact that she had slept soundly, that the only weight pinning her down was Lucas' hand on her hip.

Lucas' hand.

And then she remembered.

What Lucas had done. How, last night, when she'd been in despair, Lucas had been there. Had made her truly a mother….

Had fallen asleep beside her.

She opened her eyes to look at him, only to find that he was watching her. That he hadn't just fallen asleep, but that he stayed with her.

'Thank you,' she said.

He didn't answer, just gave her the sweetest kiss. A close-your-eyes-and-feel-the-tingle-in-your-toes kind of kiss. A first-kiss kind of kiss that was making her body do giddy little loop-the-loops.

He eased away to look at her. 'This is nice. Maybe we can do it again very soon?'

Now. Her body was screaming now and he was close enough for her to be aware that he was heading in the same direction. But she wasn't about to make that mistake again and, lifting her hand to his lips, she said, 'We need to talk, Lucas. I have a thousand things to tell you.'

Or maybe only one….

'Now?'

Gracie was shouting for attention and then Taylor called up the stairs to let Lucas know that his driver had arrived to take him to New York. Even so, she knew that if she'd said yes, now, he would have stayed right where he was. But then there would be no conversation.

'It can wait,' she said. And then she returned his kiss with a sweet, soft touch of her lips to his. A promise that she would be waiting. Always.

**Okay so please let me know what you thought, good or bad. I think I may have lost some readers in my little hiatus so if people aren't reviewing, I'm taking that as people aren't reading and making the next chapter the last.**

**Till next time….**

**Xoxo B**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN; I know it has been a long time in between updates, but trust me have a good excuses, both my daughter's and my boyfriend have had H1N1. On top of this we are moving next Tuesday and I only just found us an apartment. **

**I'm pretty sure that this story is coming to an end soon. But don't go jumping down my throat just yet, I think it is the responsible thing to do, because of the move I will no longer have my mother in law to help me look after the babies, having a 14 month old and a 4 month old is a lot of work. I'm also going back to collage at NYU and that means not a lot of time for writing. If there is enough interest, once I'm settled in I would be willing to do a sequel.**

**Anyway please enjoy….**

**Chapter Sixteen**

'You're getting married, Brooke. I know you want a quiet simple wedding and we all respect that, but you do have to have a new dress and the wedding is the day after tomorrow.'

'That's plenty of time to find a dress.'

Brooke saw Peyton and Rachael exchange meaningful looks. Whoever would have though those two would have become bosom buddies? Plotting against Brooke Davis made strange bedfellows.

The thought made her smile.

'We both remember the sketches,' Peyton said casually.

'The ones you did in high school,' Rachael added disappearing around out into the hall.

'Well, it's too late for something like that now.'

'Maybe not,' Peyton said. 'I went through your old sketch books and found the design.' Then, 'Rachael called in a few favors and…'

Rachael reappeared holding a white garment bag. 'It's not exact to you design, I commissioned Geena Wagner, she's a friend,' Rachael was a fashion plate and probably knew every hot designer who could stitch a seam. 'She didn't change much, just modernized it and used appliqué, embroidery and beading to stunning effect.'

Brooke was trying desperately to remember how to talk. Finally she let out a little cry of joy that was almost a perfect imitation of Gracie. A single tear rolled down her cheek has she wrapped her arms around her two best friends. 'Thank you,' she managed between sniffs.

'You haven't even seen it yet.' Rachael said, pulling out of the hug she hung the garment bag on the back of the door and carful slid the zip down.

Brooke held her breath as Rachael revealed the Gorgeous silk satin Ream Acra ball gown with ruched breastline, beaded bodice. It was the most beautiful dress she had ever scene and she couldn't believe that they had done all this is under a week.

'You haven't seen my favorite part yet,' Rachael removed the dress from the bag reveling the beaded chapel train.

Brooke's let out another small cry. It was just as she had always dreamed, her princess wedding to her Prince charming. It was just days ago that she had woken in Lucas' arms and she'd known that they weren't just going to have a wedding, but a marriage.

They still had to talk, but she'd known deep in her heart, after that night, after what he had done for her, it would never just be a marriage on paper. And she wanted, when she stood beside him and said the words that would make them man and wife, to show him that it really meant something to her. Wanted it to be a day neither would ever forget.

Brooke was still smiling when Taylor entered the room carrying a white and red hat box. 'I found this,' Taylor said placing the box on the bed. Then, removing the lid 'I think Haley would have wanted you to have it.'

Brook recognized the single layer hip length white veil with flower and beading detail. She herself had made it for Haley's wedding. Her throat burned as she held of the tears back. She hugs Taylor, whispering her thanks.

She pulled back when the phone rang and she picked it up, knowing it would be Lucas. He'd called morning, noon and night while he'd been in New York. He was late today.

'You're late this morning. Did you oversleep?' she asked, without preamble.

'I had an early meeting and didn't want to call you before six.'

'Good decision. How are you?'

'Busy. Lonely without my little girl. How is she?'

'Thriving. Sleeping through without any problems now.'

'I have to go, Brooke. I'll call you later.'

'Later,' she repeated, but was talking to the dial tone.

* * *

Lucas smiled as he shut off his cell phone, pushing open the door to Tiffany's, the kind of jeweler store that had been beyond his wildest dreams when he'd bought the first ring for Brooke.

Something unusual, antique, he thought. Emeralds to match her eyes….

He'd just handed over his credit card when his phone rang. Still haunted by the thought that he had missed a call from Michael, from Brooke, he moved away from the glass display case to cheek the caller.

It was his Chinese editor calling from Beijing. He let the call go to voicemail while he punched in his pin code. He wasn't due back to Tree Hill until tomorrow, but he planned to surprise Brooke, take her out, ask her to marry him. Be his wife.

'Congratulations, sir. I hope you'll be very happy,' the jeweler said as he handed him the ring.

His smile lasted until he was back in the town car, when he listened to the frantic voice mail, the you-have-to-be-here-tomorrow bureaucratic foul-up that he couldn't ignore. It was his responsibility and his alone. He'd signed a contract. There were millions of dollars, hundreds of jobs at stake.

He could call Brooke, explain, put off the wedding until he could get back. She'd understand. But what would it be next time? How long would it be before he could get back to see Gracie again? Months. She'd have grown, changed, forgotten him. And that was how it would be through all the years. He wouldn't be a father, or a husband in anything but name. He'd be the stranger who turned up once in a blue moon, when it fitted in with his plans.

And he thought about what Peyton had told him to ask himself. Who gained, who would be hurt by the choices he made? But it was the latter that was important. Whose happiness you truly cared about.

He didn't, he discovered, have to agonies over that one. He knew.

* * *

It was late, long after Lucas would normally call when the courier arrived with a package addressed to Brooke and she knew – just knew – that whatever it contained she didn't want to know.

She shut herself in the study and opened the envelop. The letter inside was handwritten, brief and to the point:

_Brooke,_

_By the time you receive this I will be on my way to Beijing. It seems that you were right all along. I was fitting in our wedding, not because I was making time for it, but because it fitted into my own schedule, just as I would fit Grace into my life. _

_I asked Peyton how you know what the right decision is to make. She told me that if I was honest with myself it would be clear. It's time to be honest and admit that my life in not one that lends itself to fatherhood. Grace is your child in every conceivable way and it is right that you should have full care of her. _

_Enclosed with this letter you will find a copy of my instructions to Nathan's lawyer that he should apply to the courts for a Parent Responsibility Order on your behalf. If you wish, later.. to formally adopt Grace, I will make no objection. _

_I will, of course, stand by my agreement to buy the house once Probate is granted. Arrangements have also been made for the estate to pay maintenance allowance for Grace and you as her guardian, as well as any other necessary expenses. _

_I have no idea when I will return to the State's, but if you need any further help in the future please contact my assistant. She has been instructed to treat any request from you as if it were my own. _

_Yours, Lucas_

**AN; Reviews make my day and my even make me want to post the next chapter tonight.**

**Hope you all have a good veterans day. **

**Xoxo -B**


	17. Chapter 17

**So here it is the final chapter!**

**Drum roll please……**

**Chapter Seventeen **

'Why?' She waved the letter at Peyton. 'Why is he doing this? What did you say to him?'

Peyton said nothing.

Deb looked like she was going to say something but, when Brooke turned on her, she shook her head. The, 'He was going to marry you to keep Grace? Why would he do that?'

'Because she is his daughter, Deb. Our daughter. My egg, his sperm….'

'Oh.' Then, 'But….' She shook her head. 'I don't understand any of it.'

'I think I do,' Peyton said. 'It's a sacrifice move.'

'Sacrifice?'

'He's giving her up, surrendering her to you.'

'What?'

'We talked about it. About love. The choices you make. Holding on. Letting go. Wheather you loved enough to let go even when it feels like tearing your heart out of your body.' Then, 'I think he just did that, Brooke. Tore out his heart and gave it to you.'

Brooke said something completely out of character. 'He's giving up his daughter just because he had to fly off to Beijing for some sort of stupid book meeting. What kind of idiot is he?'

'I'm sorry. It never occurred to me…. I thought…'

She shook her head. 'No, Peyt, this isn't your fault. It's mine. I keep telling him he wasn't committed, that he'd never be here for Grace, when I should have been telling him that I love him.' She got up, walked to the phone. Picked it up. 'Clinging to my safe little nest instead of telling him that wherever he was I wanted to be, too.'

'Who are you calling?' Rachael asked.

She stared at the phone. 'Good point. Who do you call to book an airline ticket?'

'The internet?'

'Right.'

'Where are you going?' Deb asked.

'Where do you think? Bei-flipping-jing.'

'Why don't you let me do that?' Peyton said, taking the phone from her and replacing it. 'While you go pack.'

'Two seats,' she said, backing out of the room. 'Or whatever they have for babies. On the first available flight.'

Peyton flipped through the phone book, stopped. 'You can't take Grace.'

'I have to. I'm breast feeding….'

'But you don't have a passport for her.'

'For a moment the world seemed to stand still. Then she said, 'Haley had. They were going to France this summer…'

* * *

Lucas swiped the key to his suite and walked in, desperate for a shower, a drink, sleep.

It was finally sorted. Something that would have been fixed in ten minutes if he had been paying attention his work had required delicate diplomacy, tact, face-saving maneuvers, when on phrase in his book had been incorrectly translated.

He opened the mini-bar, took out a Scotch, put it back and took out a bottle of water instead.

His body was in enough trouble without adding alcohol to the mix.

He tossed his jacket on the sofa, lessened his tie, opened the bedroom door and stopped. When he'd left it, this room had contained nothing except the carry-on he used when travelling.

Now there was a bright pink suitcase, a box of disposable dippers, a very familiar stroller and a crib had been set up at the foot of the bed. The crib contained a sleeping Gracie and in the bed Brooke lay, fully dressed, flat on her back with her arms thrown out.

Brooke?

It couldn't be. The longing, the need, the unbelievable loneliness were inducing hallucinations.

He closed his eyes. Opened them again. She was still there but, needing to convince himself that she was real, he put out a hand and very gently, so as not to wake her, touched her cheek. Then kissed her just as gently.

No illusion, but warm, real flesh.

Brooke had flown half-way around the world to…. What? He'd given her everything she wanted.

He turned to Gracie. She was lying exactly like her mother. Flat on her back, arms flung wide.

He didn't think he could bear it.

He wanted to hold them both, tell them how much he'd missed them, how much he loved them. But he'd made his decision and, leaving them to sleep, he shut himself in the bathroom, showered as quietly as possible, half expecting that he would open the door to find them disappeared.

He was half right. Gracie was still asleep, but the bed was empty and he walked through to the living room where Brooke was signing the bill for room service.

'I tried not to wake you,' he said.

'Kissing a girl when you've got a beard is not something you can do without repercussions, Lucas,' she said, as she poured to cups of tea. Helped herself to a sandwich.

'You're not giving me much incentive to shave it off, Brooke. I thought you'd be asleep for hours. Why are you here?'

'You have to ask? You bailed out on our talk, Lucas. The one we were going to have about the future, about us. And you bailed on our wedding, too. Okay. It happens. You walked out on me years ago and I should have been ready for you to cut and run again.'

'If it had just been me,' Brooke went on, 'I could have lived with it. I've lived without the man I love for ten years so the rest of my life would be a breeze. But I'm here to tell you that I don't believe you'd run out on your daughter, Lucas Scott.'

'Ten years?' That didn't make sense. The fact that she was here didn't make sense. 'I did what I thought was best, Brooke,' he said.

'I'm here to tell you you're wrong. And that I'm really tired of you leaving before the credits roll. Before I can tell you I love you. That I've always loved you.'

There. She'd said it. It was over. And, right on cue, Gracie woke up and began to chatter to herself.

'Your daughter is awake, Lucas,' she said, getting up and walking back into the bedroom. I've left a couple of bottles of breast milk in the fridge to keep you going until you can buy some formula and there are enough dippers to keep you going a day or two. Your assistant is interviewing nannies.' She picked up the pink suitcase and began to walk to the door.

'Brooke?'

She didn't stop. Didn't turn round.

'Where are you going?'

'Home,' she said, not missing a stride. 'I've done what I came to do. I've brought you your daughter.'

'No!'

She reached the door.

'Please, Brooke.'

Opened it.

'I love you.'

She let out the breath she'd been holding but still didn't turn round.

'I've always loved you. I came back to you with a ring in my pocket.'

'No…..' That couldn't be true. He'd scarcely looked at her. 'No,' she said turning to face him. 'You never called. Never wrote. Not even a postcard.'

'I meant to, but I didn't know what to say. Sorry? Thank you? There was only one thing you'd want to hear and I couldn't write it.'

Plain and honest… She was certainly getting what she'd asked for.

'So why the ring?'

'I couldn't face you without it and then, having screwed myself to the sticking point, admitted that I wanted you, I discovered that you'd found someone else.'

'And you just accepted that? Didn't bother to put up a fight? Lucas Scott, who always got what he went after?'

'I was…relived.'

'Off the hook, you mean. That wasn't love, Lucas. That was guilt. And you were married to Peyton within a year. Still, when you've got a ring….'

'I didn't give Peyton your ring. I threw it in the trash can, then I realized that Haley would find it, so I took it out again. I still have it.'

She shook her head, not wanting to believe it.

It's in my apartment in LA. At the back of my sock drawer.'

'No…'

It was a cry from the heart for everything she'd lost and in a second he was there beside her, his arms around her, but she had to tell him. Now. This minute, before her heart shattered.

'There wasn't anyone else, Lucas. There has never been anyone else. They were all just camouflage. You'd left me and I didn't want you to know how much that had hurt me. One word. If you'd just said one word….'

'I was afraid. I thought you'd slow me down.'

She looked up at him. 'You were right.'

'Was I? Truly? If I'd had an ounce of your strength, purpose, if I'd had the courage to tell you that I loved you, you would have braved everything to come with me.'

She shook her head, but he caught her chin, forced her to look at him.

'It's true. How did you do it now, Brooke? Where did you find the strength to fly into the unknown?'

'Love,' she said. 'Your love, your sacrifice gave me wings.'

'And now you're prepared to do the same?'

'Actually, Lucas, I was banking on that fact that having done it yourself you'd finally get the message.'

'Tell me anyway.'

'…..whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lode… We're a family, Lucas. It doesn't matter where we are, so long as we're together.'

Lucas felt as if his heart were bursting. He'd given everything and in return he'd gained that world.

'There's just one more question,' he said. 'Will you marry me? Not a paper marriage, but a making babies, till-death-us-do-part, forever and a day marriage. In a wedding with flowers and bridesmaids and doves and string quartets. I'll even shave off the beard.'

'No,' she said. Then, while his heart was still recovering from shock, No doves, no string quartets, but the beard can definitely go.' Then, when he just ginned, 'That's your cue to kiss me Luke. We've got ten years to catch up on.'

* * *

_From the Tree Hill Gazette:_

_**Ducks Add Delight And Drama To Wedding**_

_Local business women Brooke Davis and Tree Hill born author Lucas Scott were married today in a charmingly simple ceremony by the River Court Park._

_The bride wore a Geena Wagner gown in ivoey silk. Her matching tiara and jewelry was made by the bride's business partner and Maid of honor Rachael McFadden._

_The couple's niece, Grace Scott and the bride's long time friend Peyton Saywer-__Jagielski were bridesmaids._

_The ceremony was followed by a country style picnic for family and friends by the river where guests were entertained by singer Mia Catalano. A dozen white ducks, decked out in emerald bows added rural charm to the scene, but during the afternoon they escaped their handler and made for the lake. So far the attempts to capture them have failed._

_The couple, who have now left on an extended honeymoon that reportedly includes India, Europe and Japan, have homes in Tree Hill, Los Angeles and New York City._

FIN

**AN; So I noticed that you all said you wanted Lucas to come back to Brooke, but just for once I wanted to see Brooke stand up for her relationship with Lucas. I hope you all really enjoyed this and weren't let down by the ending. I want to thank every person who reviewed, favoutied or even just read this story. It would not have gotten past chapter one without you. **

**Please leave your thoughts and reviews, also expressions of interest for a sequel are very much welcome (Ideas on what you would want to happen might be nice too). **

**Thank you again for reading…..**

**Xoxo Beth James**


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